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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:20:59 AM

Lynnxz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i never said She was a monster. She is taking out Her stress on him now though, the stress of coping with his illness. i think She's a little misguided if She thinks life will be better without him. i hope She does not think that and She relents
kevin

You might not have called her a monster... but let's take a look here.....

quote:

She is a heartless bitch,

quote:

She has some nerve offering him €15,000 about $18,000 and telling him to get a flat, without an income he wont buy a barn door in Dublin for that money and to my mind She know this darn well, She needs to get real and start accepting my mate for what he is faults and all

quote:

She is going back on Her word, its sickening

quote:

She is the instigator of this problem

Ooops, there it is!!

And could you explain this little gem?

quote:

i think the person in most need domme or outsider or even sub should come first, that s just my two cents anyway

Why the hell are you sticking yourself in there? Why in the WORLD should YOU come first in someone elses marrage.

-Secretary Lynx, who should start looking for another filing cabinet.

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 12/14/2008 9:22:24 AM >

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:21:06 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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Lockit.. if he paid attention, then he'd have to give up his misogynistic world view

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Post #: 162

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:29:23 AM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Lockit.. if he paid attention, then he'd have to give up his misogynistic world view

One can hope... Once in a while... someone does see... but... the resistance we see here... is the same resistance most likely this wife has been dealing with. To raise um's in it... with the marriage being of 18 years.... and maybe older um's... they are enough to drive one batty... imagine having to parent then while taking care of a spouse.

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Post #: 163

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:36:10 AM

oceanwynds

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Joined: 8/24/2006
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Depression is a reality, and i personally understand it. I was diagnosed bipolar 27 years ago. What I am going to say to you Lobo will come off sounding mean, but it is 'my' truth. So be it! If i had a friend like you Lobo, i would not have made it this far. My husband pushed me to do better. No I didnt have to work outside the home when married, but I was expected to work on me. He told me that i could stay if i did or leave, he had our daughter to look after. The last few years of his life, he told me how well i did and how proud he was of me. He pushed me, and I got where I could handle life. We had the tables turned then when he was diagnosed with emphysema and lung cancer. It was me having to take care of all his needs 24/7. When he died I was alone, daughter grown and on her own. She told me if i needed her too she would take care of me. I didn't want that. One thing I am good at is being a psychic, so I got work doing that and started to support myself. I live alone, because I can keep my life structured in a way that keeps me sane. I take care of my bills and don't run to Sir to let me live with him, when times got tough. Sir also is tough on me, and wont put up with me blaming others for my conditions or acting helpless. Thank God for him. He not my savior; I am. i done a lot of work on me to be were i am, and those that i can credit to helping me were those that didnt treat me like a victim. It is the only thing that saved me.

oceanwynds

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Post #: 164

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:37:54 AM

colouredin

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
To raise um's in it... with the marriage being of 18 years.... and maybe older um's... they are enough to drive one batty... imagine having to parent then while taking care of a spouse.

And imagine how the kids feel. I grew up with an alcoholic bipoler mother. Im telling you it affects you, it has impacted massivly on my life and my relationships (totally taking on the 'caring' role and being drawn to very needy dependant people) My dad eventually thank god seperated from her but I was sixteen by that point and it was far too late really.

Also how someone is when they are depressed varies heavily from person to person, some (often men) become violent when suffering women often internalise the emotions. Either way its bloody hard on people. As I said I suffered from depression and I adore the people who helped me through it but never once did I view it as my right to have that, I was difficult, self involved and detached from everything around me.

< Message edited by colouredin -- 12/14/2008 9:38:45 AM >

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Post #: 165

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:42:18 AM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
To raise um's in it... with the marriage being of 18 years.... and maybe older um's... they are enough to drive one batty... imagine having to parent then while taking care of a spouse.

And imagine how the kids feel. I grew up with an alcoholic bipoler mother. Im telling you it affects you, it has impacted massivly on my life and my relationships (totally taking on the 'caring' role and being drawn to very needy dependant people) My dad eventually thank god seperated from her but I was sixteen by that point and it was far too late really.

Also how someone is when they are depressed varies heavily from person to person, some (often men) become violent when suffering women often internalise the emotions. Either way its bloody hard on people. As I said I suffered from depression and I adore the people who helped me through it but never once did I view it as my right to have that, I was difficult, self involved and detached from everything around me.

This is exactly why I said in my earlier post... that it is abuse. I am very sorry you went through that, but very glad you have come through it to be able to live free.

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Post #: 166

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:46:00 AM

colouredin

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

This is exactly why I said in my earlier post... that it is abuse. I am very sorry you went through that, but very glad you have come through it to be able to live free.

Very true, many people come off far worse than i did from similar situations I was very lucky.

Problem is that people can be inherantly selfish and thats what this thread seems to me, a total disregard for how anyone else other than 'the friend' is coping.

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Post #: 167

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:49:28 AM

lobodomslavery

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Look maybe people are right here, maybe the fact that im mates with this guy is pulling me down too i dont know, all i do know is apart from him outside my family, i have no friends, if i were to give up on him i would have nobody to converse with outside family , no social network nothing
kevin

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Post #: 168

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:51:14 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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well do something about that then.

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Post #: 169

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:51:22 AM

lobodomslavery

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i am listening Lockit, i get what your saying but he has no control over what is happening to him depression is very disabling
kevin

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Post #: 170

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:53:27 AM

lobodomslavery

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what i meant by even the sub, was not myself but say i corresponded with another sub on these boards and during a conversation found out She/he was finding life hard, yes i think his/her needs should be prioritised over any Domme/Dom
kevin

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 171

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:53:30 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i am listening Lockit, i get what your saying but he has no control over what is happening to him depression is very disabling
kevin

Only when you lie around the house feeling sorry for yourself.

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Post #: 172

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:54:12 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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oh, FFS....

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Post #: 173

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 9:54:25 AM

Lockit

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Kevin... now we are getting somewhere. Honey, you are projecting your own feelings as friend and who you are into this. For your own sake you need to step back... evaluate where you are... how you are doing with your own issues and then see how you can help your friend. You cannot help him, as many here have said.. if you are so emotional about it.

You know how you would feel.. how you have felt and are projecting it all into his situation and how it all affects him and you as his friend. No one does well when we encourage their victim mode. That selfish place where everyone doesn't understand and most are out to get them. It is a very selfish place and you cannot see outside of that. I would encouarge you to go see your doctors and talk about this. But you need to step back and chill a bit and do some thinking. Good luck.

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Post #: 174

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 10:04:19 AM

oceanwynds

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Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i am listening Lockit, i get what your saying but he has no control over what is happening to him depression is very disabling
kevin

I don't know if anything i posted here has been a help Lobo. Depression can be very disabling, but thre is always a choice. I am living proof of it. Not having many friends can make one want to enable their friend even more, and understandable, i guess. Maybe you two can turn this around and find healthy positive things to explore? I honestly understand losing almost all your friends from the label of manic-depressive. I honestly understand the depth of the pit one can go into, all i am saying we have a choice in how we cope with it. I don't have a choice with a chemical imbalance, but i can choose how i live with i

blessings
oceanwynds

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 175

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 10:05:16 AM

lobodomslavery

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thats why i come here. it stops from feeling isolated lonely and worthless
kevin

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Post #: 176

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 10:08:04 AM

Lockit

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Kevin... I can understand isolation. But darlin you can't bring serious things like this to the boards and expect it to go well when you are so filled with emotion. You won't get a good solutution to your isolation doing this. Only attitude and evaluation and it would be valid attitude and evaluation. Come to have fun Kevin... but these serious issues are for more private times.

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Post #: 177

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 10:08:55 AM

lobodomslavery

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the other reason i stick with him is because he is straight up. if i suggest to him to meet in town for a coffee he always either says he can or he cant, and when he says he can he has never not shown up. i had one mate who wanted to go for a weekend trip away with me to see an American football match. He didnt show. my weekend was spoiled that week. needless to say i didnt call him again
kevin

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Post #: 178

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 10:09:39 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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I have done this. Only I didn't kick him out, I gave him and the landlord 30 days notice and moved. The lease was mine so he was effectively homeless after December 31st that year. He was heartbroken but he understood why it had to be done. We loved each other but our relationship wasn't going anywhere. It was vanilla, and I just can't be vanilla... Among other things. The main reason I had to break up with him was that he was just a loser. I'd supported him financially (free rent) for a year prior to the breakup, in an effort to help him get a life. But some people are just too far gone. Helping him wasn't helping him. Ending it so that we could both move on with our lives, was the best thing I could do for both of us- and he knew that.
My only question is: if she's going so far as to initiate legal action against him and throw him out, why is she not releasing him from her ownership? He needs to be able to get on with his life. Its not the end of the world, its the beginning of the rest of his life. My ex boyfriend went to stay with relatives while he regrouped. Your friend needs to grow up.

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Post #: 179

RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 10:12:27 AM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

the other reason i stick with him is because he is straight up. if i suggest to him to meet in town for a coffee he always either says he can or he cant, and when he says he can he has never not shown up. i had one mate who wanted to go for a weekend trip away with me to see an American football match. He didnt show. my weekend was spoiled that week. needless to say i didnt call him again
kevin

Kevin... think about what you just said. If he ruined your weekend by being inconsistant... think about living with him and those inconsistancies... his wife and um's are living with it day in and out.

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Post #: 180

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