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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 3:22:28 AM   
colouredin


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Hey look at the link, and stop being patronising

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 3:32:14 AM   
lobodomslavery


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i did i saw €450 per month which is more what i would expect, the point is if you take away what he has now , he wouldnt be able to afford that , he only gets $100 a week
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 3:33:12 AM   
colouredin


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Nope there were prices as low as 300 also with the money his wife will give him its enough.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 3:36:02 AM   
lobodomslavery


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well thats as maybe, but the money isnt really the point, the point is he loves his wife and he wouldnt trade that for any money in the world. his kids and his wife are his world, the thought that will be taken away really worries him, the idea that the kids choose between him and Her its sick really when you think about it. But She has caused this
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 4:19:02 AM   
stella41b


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There's something happening here
After six pages it ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a mate in despair
Telling us that his domme doesn't care
I think it's time we stopped people what's that sound
Everybody watch what's going down

There's storylines being formed
This poster is right, but the domme he writes of is wrong
Many posters speaking their minds
One posting versions from his behind
I think it's time we stopped people what's that sound
Everybody watch what's going down

Been living on his Mistress's keep
But now she's putting him the street
Lots of complaining and moans and whines
Keeps this Dubliner on his side
I think it's time we stopped hey what's that sound
Everybody watch what's going down

A hatred of women lies deep
Onto these boards he will creep
He starts misogynistic threads
The same line, people come and the thread's underway
I think it's time we stopped people what's that sound
Everybody watch what's going down
I think it's time we stopped people what's that sound
Everybody watch what's going down
I think it's time we stopped people what's that sound
Everybody watch what's going down....


original version Buffalo Springfield

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 4:47:41 AM   
lobodomslavery


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Great artistry, invention , creativity, but im not a misogynist
thanks
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 5:01:34 AM   
oceanwynds


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Lobodomslavery, I DO HOPE YOU ARE NOT FEEDING HIM ALL THIS YOU ARE TELLING US. A friend, imho, would try to help another to find ways to get along better, not encourage them to stay where they are not wanted. A friend would not tell person ...oh poor you, you are so abused, instead would  give them a news paper, and phone numbers of agencies so he can make plans. A friend would not focus on their illness, but instead would focus on what they can do and help motivate them. What you write is equivelent to a person feeding an illness to make it worse, and not helping a situation. What would happen if he woke up one morning and say, okay she don't want me, and i need to deal with finding a job ect, would you still pump him with all this poor boy crap?

You never talked to his Mistress, so you do not know the whole story, all you know is the overwhelming fears of your friend. You got a thing for the underdog? How horrible after all these years, she just couldnt handle living with chronic depression.

If you care about this friend, and i wondering if you really do, or it is more of oh injustice lets whine case, stop interfering and telling him to stay there. She wants him out. Get him what he needs, phone numbers, places to call to help himself instead.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 5:20:37 AM   
Herstocontrol


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I think a Mistress/Domme is responsible to provide something close to what was discussed before they entered into the D/s relationship and of course the submissive has their end of the bargin to uphold as well.  There is alway the pushing of limits and in time some changes to that original arrangement may have occured, but if both parties don't abide by what was discussed in the first place, then it can't work.  Of course then there are those who never have the discussion in the first place and well that's another story.   

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 5:20:38 AM   
CatdeMedici


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At the end of the day, there are two people in a relationship--if they are married--the laws regarding separation and divorce will apply---irredgardless of Mistress or slave commitments--no matter what your opinion may be
 
If they are common law---there are still laws that apply and more so if there are children involved--no matter what your opinion may be.
 
He is a man in a relationship that is dissolving--instead of playing poor me, he should seek the advice of a solicitor/attorney--and I am sure even Dublin has them for hardship cases if he can't pay.
 
You  need to butt out, listen, but not offer any adive and send the bloke back to deal with his problems.
 
Oh btw 75% of people who act as "helpers/advisors" in a relationship break up--end up being estranged from the person they helped.
 
 

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 5:36:44 AM   
stella41b


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Great artistry, invention , creativity, but im not a misogynist
thanks
kevin



Okay, my apologies, not wishing to offend..

But are you not a bit, you know, biased?

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 5:36:49 AM   
MissIsis


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

He has good social skills and im sure if anyone appreciated him he would get a job. But like a lot of men , he is not appreciated or valued, he has been crapped on and this is just another slap in the face he can do without. If his wife does not care for him , no one will.



I went back to bed, but after reading this quote, & sleeping on it, I have to say I find it disturbing.  You are pretty much saying he would only get a job if someone appreciates him.  What about getting a job, for the simple fact that he is an adult & it is his responsibility to support himself. 

And if his social skills are so good, do you really think the only women on the planet that will care for him is his wife that he has now? 

It sounds like your friend needs to grow up & you need to step back away from the situation, unless you want to take on the role his wife has had to take on all these years, & I am not seeing that you do from your posts here.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 5:41:44 AM   
lobodomslavery


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He has not been evicted yet. i am a bit shocked to be honest and i dont honestly think a woman can throw a man out his own home, i mean a woman for god sake, they are supposed to be the fairer gentler more compassionate sex. that being said i still cling to the hope that She will change her mind, that She will soften and things will be ok. maybe im an optimist, maybe i m naive i dont know, its just i like to see the good in people and not think everything and everyone is bad im sure there is a solution that will be agreeable to both parties without this action. He just needs a serious chat with his wife to set Her straight on these issues and the implications of separating.  i hope he drives it home to Her that She is loved and that this action will destroy them both
im giving them space, hopefully things will work out. He does not want solicitors numbers he told me so, he just wants his wife to show the same love she showed him for the past 18 years. its not too much to ask. thats my two cent anyway
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 5:45:16 AM   
lobodomslavery


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His wife did no more than any faithful wife would do . She looked after the kids, she did the cooking. Big deal. He was so busy working for 14 years, he didnt have time to do that and when She took a holiday for a week a couple of years ago , he did all that, looked after the kids, did the washing , did the cooking etc. its no big deal. in fact doing household chores and looking after the kids , it comes with the package of having a family, any decent partner would do the same. Women have done this for years. Men now too more and more. its no big deal
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 5:46:37 AM   
lobodomslavery


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No i dont think so. i love women. i really do. but some women are  very hard on men
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 6:15:32 AM   
StrangerThan


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i think you misunderstood. i have not said anything to Her personally. Nor would i dare. i have never met his wife and i dont plan to either. i just advised him as a mate to stick in and refuse to leave. i think thats reasonable particularly when he said he would do that anyway. i think its unreasonable to threaten to evict a jobless male or a jobless anyone for that matter even with the carrot of $18,000, the point is he will effectively end up on the streets, if he were to rent he would be paying $350 a week for a flat do the maths and he is left with $1,200 for food, that would run out pretty quick and then what, i think She needs to give him just a little more time. its not as if he is doing nothing, he is doing a course, which shows his determination to get back to work, if he were doing nothing She would have a point but he is doing his best to get back into a position where he can earn money. She needs to also realise that there are no jobs out there now anyway, we are in a recession in ireland and She should recognise that. many people are out of work. many married males are out of work, and married women but not everybody is separating and throwing their partner out over it, its very upsetting for him and i feel for him i really do.  And the guy  She get s in his place if they do separate, will She treat him the same way, it could be me , it could be anyone, i think the guy is right to take a stand, in some ways Feminism has gone too far, does women's rights extend to making life miserable for men , to threatening's a man's security by putting him out of his own home, it shouldnt but if it does its a sad reflection on how selfish some women have become, i say some most Women are fine and honour their partners wishes as She is done and i hope She continues to do i really do but at the moment its tough for him and so unneccessary, i hope She never falls ill thats all i can say and if She does i hope someone is more charitable to Her than She appears to be to him
kevin



I'm not sure I understand the point of this post other than perhaps to garner sympathy. Here's a bottom line for you. Legally there is no slave and no owner. I can say that because Mistress obviously isn't in jail.  Legally, they're married. Take this out of the BDSM context and what you have is a marriage gone bad. It doesn't matter why it went bad, doesn't matter who is at fault or who owes anyone anything in terms of being a decent person. At this point, what matters is that it's over. What your friend needs to do is what Beth said, accept nothing and see a lawyer. I don't know about where you live, but in the states it's pretty damned hard to make anyone leave a residence unless there's extenuating circumstances - like abuse. It's pretty damned hard to divorce anyone who doesn't want to be divorced unless again, there are circumstances that will support a judge saying, ok, get out.

This story has evolved from the beginning. Does she owe him anything? Absolutely, and what she owes him is what the lawyers work out. Can she simply make him leave? I don't know. The evolution of this tale seems to tell me that if I say yes because of this or that, you'll give me some reason that won't work, and if I say no because of this or that, I'll get a reason on the other end.

What people are telling you is something that your friend needs to come to terms with himself. This marriage, forget the Mistress/slave/adoration thing, is over. She's had it, done, trying to have him evicted from his own home. I don't know how things work where you are, but in most cases in the US where people are splitting without those extenuating circumstances, no one is going to evict anyone. No one is going to choose what the other gets. If your friend hasn't worked in 18 years, there's a decent chance he's eligible for alimony.

In other words, quit whining. Do what needs to be done and at this point, it's to protect himself legally.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 6:25:13 AM   
lobodomslavery


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Your post was great up to the last few lines. The last line is a bit of a wobbler. The marriage has lasted 18 years, my friend has not worked for 3 years. i wont say any more . i think everyone knows the story at this stage. i appreciate the response
thanks
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 6:37:35 AM   
CatdeMedici


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Your post was great up to the last few lines. The last line is a bit of a wobbler. The marriage has lasted 18 years, my friend has not worked for 3 years. i wont say any more . i think everyone knows the story at this stage. i appreciate the response
thanks
kevin



I'm not sure what you were looking for here? Posts that say bad Mistress, evil Mistress--all those Dominas are gold diggers? Poor boy-poor pitiful boy--tsk tsk how could she do that?
 
Well you didn't and you won't--as we have all said, in relationships there are two real people and when they break up the only titles they carry are: ) The party of the first part being the defendant and the party of the second part being the plaintiff after that it doesn't matter what you call your self--Mistress, slave, priest, President, whore. The law will decide not you or us.

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 6:40:54 AM   
lobodomslavery


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i just hope it wont come to that. its just money to solicitors at the end of the day which is a waste of a good marriage to me
kevin

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 6:46:21 AM   
CatdeMedici


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i just hope it wont come to that. its just money to solicitors at the end of the day which is a waste of a good marriage to me
kevin



IN YOUR OPINION--no one can EVER completely know what happens behind closed doors--the support of your friend is admirable but to think he may be 100% blameless is fool hardy. 

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RE: Should Mistress have minimum obligation to servant - 12/14/2008 6:48:57 AM   
GreedyTop


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Obviously it is no longer a 'good marriage' if she's trying to end it, Kevin.

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