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The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/25/2009 9:29:11 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		This is a serious question that deserves some serious thought before firing off an answer. It is also one that might be applied between all relationships that have at least a modicum of D/s as it's base
Whether it is a 24/7, or part time, on line or real time. All male, all female switch etc; How much of the relationship is devoted to vanilla as a percentage of the total time between the parties?
I personally know of no relationship that is based upon D/s that does not also entertwine vanilla, so my curious nature that tends to quantify many things pondered the question.

Any thoughts?

CP
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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/25/2009 9:43:19 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
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From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		Sir and I spend a lot of nilla time together but there is always an element of D/s present. I always call Him Sir... when I'm feeling all mushy n stuff I'll call Him "Honey Sir" I make sure He's taken care of first, pretty much I place His needs, wants, and desires before my own, which is a part of my submission that I dearly love.
After spending an entire weekend with Him in a vanilla setting our dynamic was still there.

girly (in love with Honey Sir)

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/25/2009 9:53:29 PM   
CelticPrince


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quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

Sir and I spend a lot of nilla time together but there is always an element of D/s present. I always call Him Sir... when I'm feeling all mushy n stuff I'll call Him "Honey Sir" I make sure He's taken care of first, pretty much I place His needs, wants, and desires before my own, which is a part of my submission that I dearly love.
After spending an entire weekend with Him in a vanilla setting our dynamic was still there.

girly (in love with Honey Sir)
 
girly ,
 
sounds like you really enjoy the protocol as a reminder, now how about an estimate of what percentage is D/s visa vi nilla?
 
CP


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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/25/2009 10:13:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Status: offline 		I'm not sure I understand the question.  It's not the act, it's the intent, the motivation.  I don't separate my life like that.

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/25/2009 11:40:19 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
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Status: offline 		Both are always together..vanilla and bdsm. I don't have a vanilla mode or a bdsm mode I switch on.
(on the other side we don't have bdsm supermarkets...so I guess..that is vanilla mode then..lol)
No seriously...I am just a person....living his live not changing behaviour in what he does.

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/25/2009 11:48:38 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
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Status: offline 		90% bdsm and 90% vanilla, but statistic lie.

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/25/2009 11:59:00 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		We don't see it as either/or, it is just living life and do not seperate bits of it.
 
the.dark.

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 1:45:27 AM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline 		Our relationship isn't based on D/s but on friendship and mutual acceptance of each other for better or worse. D/s is nothing more than an integral element.

Our relationship can survive without D/s, but it won't get far without friendship or mutual acceptance.

Just saying..

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 2:53:44 AM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		I don't know that you can break it down into percentages. Life happens...and no matter if it's vanilla or kink the D/s undercurrent will be there.  It is who i am.....no role playing or acting.

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 3:05:31 AM   
cagliostro


Posts: 128
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Status: offline 		I will never understand why people have this need for a hard quantification of things.  Like anyone is actually going to say that their life is 33.7625% vanilla.  Or that there is a universal tension under which every bound person feels the same.  It's just DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE.  You may think it's a serious question, but it's ridiculous.  It doesn't require serious thought because the answer is obvious.  Every relationship that isn't TPE/24/7 incorporates vanilla.  How much just depends on them. 

Think before you type....

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 3:10:47 AM   
thesugarplum


Posts: 49
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Status: offline 		Every time I write up an answer for this question, I can think of 100 ways it going to get slammed. That either makes it a good question or..

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 3:19:12 AM   
JustDarkness


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thesugarplum

Every time I write up an answer for this question, I can think of 100 ways it going to get slammed. That either makes it a good question or..



why care if people dislike your answer..it is your answer that the op asked for...not others ;)

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 3:22:40 AM   
thesugarplum


Posts: 49
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness


quote:

ORIGINAL: thesugarplum

Every time I write up an answer for this question, I can think of 100 ways it going to get slammed. That either makes it a good question or..




why care if people dislike your answer..it is your answer that the op asked for...not others ;)


I have to say you raise a good point! Here it goes:

When my husband is deployed, I am maybe active 2% of the time, and thats in my imagination.
When my husband is home, but working, maybe 7% if the time.
When my husband is home, and on leave, 40% of the time.

Over critical, but I love time managment.

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 3:36:51 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I don't separate my life between titles. I simply live it. He is in charge. I'm not. Simple.

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 4:11:03 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry CP my reply isnt going to be much more helpful. Vanilla to me is a person who does not have a recognised power dynamic in their relationship and neither do they want one. That means that basically I am never vanilla. Whenever I see people saying 'oh I want D/s but I want vanilla too' I chuckle to myself. It seems to perpetuate this fantasy that there are people out there who live their entire lives without going to the shop or eating a meal. It is that when we do engage in these activities we hang our oritantaion at the door?

To say vanilla as though it is activities is to comparmentalise and also to imply normality which of course there is no such thing. That what or who we are is somehow disengaged from the real world. It isnt.

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 4:32:11 AM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
How much of the relationship is devoted to vanilla as a percentage of the total time between the parties?


I'm married to my sub.  Even when we're not together or aren't actively spouse-ing, we are wife and husband.  That relationship and its dynamics is part of who we are.  Same with d/s.  We're dom and sub, even when we aren't together or aren't actively engaging in d/s.

That being the case, I have to agree with Petruchio.  It's 90% bdsm, 90% vanilla.

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 6:00:40 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'm not sure I understand the question.  It's not the act, it's the intent, the motivation.  I don't separate my life like that.


LA,

That is why I suggested some real comtemplation  on the subject. We all have the mix whether we want to recognize it or not. So many newcomers into D/s just get the idea that it is all D/s and that leadss to false expectancies.

CP

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 6:03:18 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

90% bdsm and 90% vanilla, but statistic lie.


Petruchio,

That is interesting, 80% more than the whole............. damn that is a busy life.

CP

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 6:15:21 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cagliostro

I will never understand why people have this need for a hard quantification of things.  Like anyone is actually going to say that their life is 33.7625% vanilla.  Or that there is a universal tension under which every bound person feels the same.  It's just DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE.  You may think it's a serious question, but it's ridiculous.  It doesn't require serious thought because the answer is obvious.  Every relationship that isn't TPE/24/7 incorporates vanilla.  How much just depends on them. 

Think before you type....


cagliostro,

Well I see the boards have a new found flame thrower!
For being a ridiculous question you have no problem understanding it......... to a point! Of course everyone is different, thus the request for serious thought. What is the parity for each relationship. You as an individual do not have to understand why some seek analysis or quantification; only that they do, as all people are different. The trick with the boards, as you may soon find out, is that if you choose not to reply to a question then don't,. It makes it easier on everyone.

CP

CP

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RE: The ratio tween D/s & vanilla? - 1/26/2009 6:18:54 AM   
sparkyRBF


Posts: 157
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		 I also had a hard time understanding this question.  I agree with LuckyAlbatross in that it is not the act but the intent. 

I sleep about 6 to 8 hrs a day, but i do so with my ankle chained to the bed.  So am i sleeping vanilla or D/s? 

Master is always Master.   I help him with our business as an electrician i do the wiring.  Is this a vanilla action?  I'm still serving Master in helping him and i'm still his slave, not his partner, not his coworker not even his employee. 

Now, if you mean, how much time do i spend tied up or on my knees i would say about 40% of the time.   and not trying to put words in your mouth, just trying to make it a question i can answer for you.

sincerely

sparkyRBF
Happily owned slave
of
RedbotttomFarms

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