quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

We don't see it as either/or, it is just living life and do not seperate bits of it.
 
the.dark.

 
the dark,
 
I understand where your coming from, but i believe there is always a separation; when you both go shaopping at the food market, is the D/s dynamic alive during that time? Surely a couple cannot maintain !00% D/s dynamic?? or perhaps so...........
 
CP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

 

it is not just a fantasy, for us.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

 

it is not just a fantasy, for us.

for a large M/majority I don't think it (the Lifestyle) is fantasy. W/we are who W/we are, but is it realistic to say "call M/me Master/Mistress this or sub/slave that" wherever we venture outside that which is not a bdsm community, home, or dungeon? those of U/us employed can't state that; the statement can't me made at an establishment out in "the world".

sadistically, yes, I would like to crack a whip at my boss when she challenges my knowledge and is always wrong, but the necessity in keeping the job (i love) prompts me to alternatively state facts to her in a way that deems her wrong. i am sure she has picked up on my character and strong personality...but my job is a vanilla job.

reality is what it is and W/we are who we are at all times.

quote:

W/we are who W/we are, but is it realistic to say "call M/me Master/Mistress this or sub/slave that" wherever we venture outside that which is not a bdsm community, home, or dungeon?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Welcome to the forums MsDDom.
My comment on your post is - who is to say that a Ds relationship has to involve calling people Master/Mistress?  Some dynamics do not have that as protocol.  I believe that people see Ds as BDSM and that is where the seperation starts for many dynamics.  For us, Ds is what you are.  You cannot alter that in any way the same way as you cannot alter that you are a mother or a son.  BDSM are the acts.  That is a totally different kettle of fish.  Ds doesn't have to contain SM or BDSM... for many it does, but not for all.
 
the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

W/we are who W/we are, but is it realistic to say "call M/me Master/Mistress this or sub/slave that" wherever we venture outside that which is not a bdsm community, home, or dungeon?

this slave doesn't demand to be addressed as slave or "slave that" INSIDE a bdsm community, home or dungeon, even with Master...and Master has never demanded anyone refer to Him by the use of Master or Lord or Sir, either, even with His slave.
for us, the use of the words Master and slave are words we use with respect to each other and our non-conventional Master/slave relationship.  they wouldn't and don't apply to the rest of the world, "vanilla" or not, because they are specifically descriptive of OUR relationship, not our relationship with the rest of the world.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SensibleSam

The most fruitfull discussions seem to stem from the most ambiguous questions. What does any of this mean?

Say I have a slave who is told to always address me as "Master". Let's say we are on the phone when suddenly she drops the "Master" from "Yes, Master". Obviously someone has come into the room. Does that mean she is now acting vanilla? Well yes in a way. Is she feeling vanilla? Is that the right question?

Sam,

given the example that you gavr, if she left out the Master then she left the dynamic, even tho her mind was still there in defference to you.

CP

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ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

We're 24/7 and that means 24/7.  When I moved in with him a couple of months ago, I moved in as his submissive.  We had some ground rules, and though they were few, they set the tone for our evolving relationship.  It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I do it as his submissive and if something happens where I need to make a decision, I get his opinion before making that decision.  Thus far, because he's available pretty much all the time, I haven't been in a position where I had to make a decision without his input and I don't do much without his ok. 

Work is the only thing that could potentially interfere with this but, thus far, it hasn't.  Its a union job, so everything's laid out pretty clear in advance.  Once, I was asked to stay a few minutes late at work to do something, and I called him to make sure it was ok.  I have no problem with telling my supervisor that I have to clear something with him before I can give an answer.  Another time, I was asked to go in on my day off for a training and I told them to assume I would be there but had to talk to him first.   He knows it in his best interests for me to work, and he knows what it takes to keep a job, so he doesn't interfere.  And, I know how to maintain appropriate boundaries between my work life and my private life so it doesn't become a problem. 

In general, If I'm not sure about something, I'll defer making the decision until I am sure.  Since he can be reached pretty much all the time by phone, there's no reason for me to act on my own. 

So, we're 100% D/s all the time.  When we "do vanilla" we do it within the framework of our D/s dynamic.

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ORIGINAL: alittleevil

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
....snip...
How much of the relationship is devoted to vanilla as a percentage of the total time between the parties?
I personally know of no relationship that is based upon D/s that does not also entertwine vanilla, so my curious nature that tends to quantify many things pondered the question.
Any thoughts?
CP

quote:


but i believe there is always a separation; when you both go shaopping at the food market, is the D/s dynamic alive during that time? Surely a couple cannot maintain !00% D/s dynamic?? or perhaps so...........

Hello Celtic Prince,

Master maintains a 100% D/s dynamic.
Yes, we sleep, eat meals, pay bills, go to movies, have friends over, play cards together--all normal life stuff. But at no time am i a "free agent". A someone said, quite succinctly: he's in charge, i obey. That never changes, no matter we might be doing.
I'm sitting here, reading and typing, enjoying my coffee, a pretty "vanilla" activity, but only because there is nothing else that Master wishes done at this moment.  The second he says "Come here!", i'm there. This activity is at his sufferance. The food we eat, the things we do, the way the house is managed, etc etc, are all his prerogative. As far as shopping, he makes the menu, determines the budget and, more often than not, goes shopping with me so he can make decisions or changes as is needed or as he wants. He occasionally asks my opinion/preferences and  sometimes he even bases his decisions on them--but that's a merely a nicety on his part. 

Best,
aj

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...All male, all female switch etc; How much of the relationship is devoted to vanilla as a percentage of the total time between the parties?...

the dynamic of our relationship is always Master/slave.
 
we didn't devote any time to pursuing a "vanilla" relationship with each other.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...All male, all female switch etc; How much of the relationship is devoted to vanilla as a percentage of the total time between the parties?...

the dynamic of our relationship is always Master/slave.
 
we didn't devote any time to pursuing a "vanilla" relationship with each other.

mercnbeth,

but one does not have to pursue it for it to be present.

CP

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs
That being the case, I have to agree with Petruchio.  It's 90% bdsm, 90% vanilla.

MmmeGigs,

Ok accepted, but morer than the whole is really a strange concept.

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I read the question and  followed all the responses...........and still don't know what YOU mean by *vanilla  and D/s*.

Without knowing what you actually MEAN the whole question is ambiguous.

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ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

We live in a Vanilla world, so how on earth

can people say that they don't have a vanilla life.