is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom?

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is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:01:16 PM

lilmisssubmiss

Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
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I'm really interested in this 30 year old guy...he's unlike any other dom i've ever talked too...i really do like him . The only thing that seems to be getting in the way is the age difference..but in the end when i'm like 20 something and he's in his 30's do people even pay that much attention to age anymore?
what do you guys think?

I just don't know...............i really like him.

Post #: 1

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:05:41 PM

BeIgnited

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline

I think it depends on the personalities of the individuals in question. Does it feel like there's a wide age gap between you when you talk?

I dated someone who was 29 when I was 18 (vanilla), so it's certainly not unheard of.

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 2

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:14:03 PM

NCNutCase

Posts: 129
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline

Personalities meshing is most important... and the older the two of you get the less the age gap will matter/show...

Right now the biggest concern (that I can see) is will your family freak out when they find out your dating someone 'that much' older than you? That is assuming the two of you are pursuing a relationship beyond D/s... If you are simply looking for a D/s relationship, then I don't believe age would matter beyond the preference of those involved...

(in reply to BeIgnited)

Post #: 3

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:17:15 PM

lilmisssubmiss

Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NCNutCase

Personalities meshing is most important... and the older the two of you get the less the age gap will matter/show...

Right now the biggest concern (that I can see) is will your family freak out when they find out your dating someone 'that much' older than you? That is assuming the two of you are pursuing a relationship beyond D/s... If you are simply looking for a D/s relationship, then I don't believe age would matter beyond the preference of those involved...

I wouldn't be able to tell my family about it till i am a bit older...well into my twenties is the problem.

when we talk it's fine...i like him a lot. A LOT it's not like weird talking to him we mesh well yes...

thank you both.... i see what you're saying and it's what i was also thinking i just wanted to see what others thought too...so ty for taking the time!

(in reply to NCNutCase)

Post #: 4

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:17:38 PM

DevinebiDiva

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/15/2009
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age means nothing.
I'm 21 years younger than my husband who is 5 years older than my own mother.

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 5

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:21:28 PM

lilmisssubmiss

Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
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kk:)
ya a lot more people are marrying people with a wider age gap now a days right?

(in reply to DevinebiDiva)

Post #: 6

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:24:11 PM

ishyB

Posts: 555
Joined: 9/2/2008
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I'm 23 and Master and Mistress are both 45....
I'd say that 18-30 wouldn't be a problem...

< Message edited by ishyB -- 1/30/2009 10:29:46 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 7

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:25:10 PM

SwimGoldfishSwim

Posts: 34
Joined: 1/11/2009
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mhm, my mom who is 40 is with a man who is 27.

as long as you two get along well and are happy then age is meaningless

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 8

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:28:44 PM

lilmisssubmiss

Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
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kk :)
ty:)

- do ppl around you guys usually think its weird though?

(in reply to SwimGoldfishSwim)

Post #: 9

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:32:11 PM

MsDDom

Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline

depends how comfortable u r with him.
i dont like the cliche that age is nothing but a number because more times that none, may number is larger...

on CM, i have been approached by much older men, but on another network i frequent more, it has been the opposite...youngest has been 19 and i am not comfy w/ that age...hell my kids r 18!

_____________________________

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(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

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RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:36:10 PM

lilmisssubmiss

Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
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- the only thing i keep thinking is that my brother is 33 from my dads previous marraige

they might kinda freak:/

(in reply to MsDDom)

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RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:38:33 PM

BIGLOVENJ

Posts: 23
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline

I hav found that younger slaves will get deeper training from an experienced older master then she would fror a young pup. Also the younger the slave is the easier she is to train as she doesnt have many years as a free woman. alot less to unlearn.

(in reply to MsDDom)

Post #: 12

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:39:53 PM

adrian28

Posts: 833
Joined: 3/8/2008
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As a dominant who closing in on 30, I have say I don't see anything wrong with it. This opinion is mostly unbiased, btw.

_____________________________

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True to my own sense of integrity - Adrian Hayes

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

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RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:42:48 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
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The likelihood of you growing on the same path in the next five years is very very slim.

But it does exist. And who cares about five years? If it feels right now, then do it.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to adrian28)

Post #: 14

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:43:40 PM

Nikitaa

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Joined: 1/26/2009
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Depends on how old your 18 is. Are you young and immature 18 or are you 18 with maturity of adult? The same applies to the 30 year old man. Is he old 30 or young 30?

I am 20 (dominant) and I am considering a 37 and 48 year old man (submissive) for my play toy. I am mature 20 so age not as big a factor. I am only using the men for toy and not having relationship so this is easier. If you are going to have more personal relationship with your dom you need maturity so man does not take advantage of you.

Good luck

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 15

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:44:51 PM

adrian28

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Well said LA, concise and to the point as always.

_____________________________

Dragon of Lust- Adrian
True to my own sense of integrity - Adrian Hayes

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:49:53 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
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I dated a man in his late thirties when I was 19. Even though we meshed incredibly well, it ended up being one of those horrifying learning experiences. Age difference does not put a strain on a relationship so much as...stage in life difference. I'm 22 my ex-Dominant is 24. There was major strain on our relationship because he has a career and I'm a student/nomad/have no idea what I want to do with my life. The man I dated at age 19 had the same kind of concerns.

With those past experiences in mind...I would be wary of someone who wasn't at least concerned himself about dating an 18 year old. Not because age is more than a number or it's wrong...just because it comes with a whole different set of circumstances than dating women his age.

YMMV.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 17

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 10:52:03 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

It sounds to me, like it's something you cannot cope with. While I generally do try to stay within a 10year parameter up or down, it would totally depend on how wonderful the man is in other ways, for me to decide.
For myself, getting double takes in relationships is par for the course if I'm going interracial, so no big deal. If anyone is not comfortable, it's their problem.

M

_____________________________

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(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 18

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 11:05:16 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

I was once seduced (we did inappropriate things, but not sex/penetration) by a good looking 32 year old when I was four years younger than 18.

He was a soldier, often gone (stationed in Germany) and for the most part gone, but I wrote him faithfully and letters were replied to promptly and courteously. When he was home, he gave me undevided attention. He did (according to others) have many women overseas. He was very good looking, sweet talker, did I mention good looking? LOL

Life went on, I ran into him years later and I invited him over long-after I was divorced and well, nothing about him was all that interesting and everything he said only smelled of bullshit, he was nothing, not even the shell of the man I once thought he was when I was a dumb youth. He also wasn't as smart as I thought he was ...than when I was young, dumb and fulla cum. lol

My only question now is why is an older guy even interested in someone so young (despite the obviousness of a fresh, tight bod lol). Is he really interested in you, or improving you or is he merely hiding from women his own age because he can't keep up with them (mentally/emotionally/intellectually)?

They say the human brain is still growing at age 20 and near complete, not to mention the lack of life experience you have yet to enjoy (or not).

It is only a healthy experience for both of you if: one or both of you do not have to 1. attempt to 'act' more mature for their sake or 2. attempt to act less mature for another's sake.

If both of you remain true and stable in your available maturity level without complication of any fraudulent mind vices then sure, it is just fine.

I guess what I am saying is...if you can, imagine yourself at 30, imagine what job you would have, imagine having experience in this/that/the other. Would he fit into your life? Could you still find him to be Mr. Wonderbar if your situation were different?

*edit to add: my mom was also a soldier, she kicked his a$$ in 1983. lol

first and only time she slapped me in the face too. ouchie.

< Message edited by came4U -- 1/30/2009 11:14:48 PM >

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 19

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 11:06:24 PM

lilmisssubmiss

Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa

Depends on how old your 18 is. Are you young and immature 18 or are you 18 with maturity of adult? The same applies to the 30 year old man. Is he old 30 or young 30?

I am 20 (dominant) and I am considering a 37 and 48 year old man (submissive) for my play toy. I am mature 20 so age not as big a factor. I am only using the men for toy and not having relationship so this is easier. If you are going to have more personal relationship with your dom you need maturity so man does not take advantage of you.

Good luck

ya exactly....see i don't even get along with guys my age because they aren't on my maturity level i've had to go through a lot of stuff for my age that has made me grow up quite a lot and more then the average 18 year old...talking to him is like a breath of fresh air, tbh.

(in reply to Nikitaa)

Post #: 20

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