RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom?

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RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/30/2009 11:07:57 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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All that matters is how the two of you feel about the age difference. If one of you is okay with it and the other's not, then there's a problem.

Be advised that he may say that he's fine with it, only to admit to you later that he would have said anything just to get into your pants.

And then you'll be screwed (pun intended, lol) because your age difference is immutable: the two of you will always be exactly the same number of years, etc. apart in age, period. Unlike with a bad habit, that you might change in order to appease someone, your age is not under your control at all. So then if it came out later that he was really not able to reconcile himself with it, you'd be at a dead end in the relationship.

If I were you, I'd go ahead and play with him but just realize that it probably won't last, which is fine. You're so young, you probably have a lot more growing to do before you're ready for "forever" anyway.

So just have FUN! Try him on, for size. Just think of him as "Mr. Right Now" instead of Mr. Right. Use your experiences with him to help you figure out what you do and don't want, and what you will and won't require, from a partner and from a relationship eventually.

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 1/30/2009 11:09:25 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 12:13:00 AM

MaamJay

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I agree with dreamerdreaming ... if He's Mr Right Now enjoy it! Just don't get weighed down with too many expectations OR do things you want to only do with an ultimate life partner. Live and learn!

As to age and the reactions of people ... Master is 15 years younger than me ... He has long hair and looks like the rock guitarist He is. I'm probably not the image of a rock singer (which is what I now am!) ... I probably look a lot more like the academic and PhD student I also am. Most people assume We are married (We're not), or at least partners as that's how We treat each other in public. We've had some laughs when people have thought We were brother and sister, aunt and nephew and even mother and son!! We simply don't let it bother Us. In terms of things in common, We have wayyyy more than I had with my second hubby who was same age as me, and a bit more than I had with first hubby who was 4 years older than me. And that's outside of D/s ... there are many more vanilla interests in common, plus a more similar outlook on life in general. No wonder We are so very happy!

Enjoy what you can OP ... just don't get too hung up on the age thing.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Post #: 22

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 1:14:54 AM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
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I had a younger slave girl.....11 years difference.
Worked for 5 years and then I noticed there were to many differences..how you handle things on different ages.
The 5 years were great ......but I personally don't take such big difference anymore.

So if you want it..go for it....

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 23

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 2:00:18 AM

MistressRouge

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
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My first long-term relationship was with a 38 year old, when I was 19.

It worked for 5 years, on and off, there are no initial strains with the age gap, but after a few years it did.

I believe many relationships work out, regardless of age, some dont.

Best of luck to you

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Post #: 24

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 2:47:38 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
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i wouldnt get hung up on the maturity bit. to me its worse to be too serious. at least with immature and fun, nobody is really hurt. example if your just playing how can you hurt someone but if you are very serious, people can be hurt, if you ask me, people take this lifestyle way too seriously. And then they wonder why they cant find a match? its pretty self explanatory to me. And to anyone if they really think about it. Life is stressful enough, why would anyone want to get in deep with anyone else is beyond me.
If you ask me the Dommes are quite bad in some cases
What is all this i want to take all your money lark about? Dommes like that need a reality check. Most guys are silly though and simply feed these women's greed
kevin

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 25

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 3:11:24 AM

ResidentSadist

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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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-FR
My dad was 52 when he started his second family with a 19 yo submisive. Their union produced my brother and they remained happy, passionate and in love until he passed away 23 years later.

No one knows how much time they have. Enjoy what you can when you can. Your future is the result of your choices.

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Post #: 26

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 3:16:33 AM

VanessaChaland

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Joined: 11/23/2008
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I've had a variety of relationships with a huge age disparity (both men and other women). Most of them worked out well. The ones that did not, had more to do with personality differences rather than age. Enjoy and love your life. :)

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 27

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 3:37:10 AM

colouredin

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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FR

My last partner was 30, my family and friends didnt care about that, they have a bit more of an issue with 40-50 year olds but they just kinda roll their eyes and say "oh what is she like"

I have always been friends with people older than me and never really done the teenager thing

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RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 3:43:29 AM

Dave1947

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I grew up with younger people when I was in high school. I was with a sub for 7 years that grew up with older kids when she was in high school. We had a very interesting relationship for 7 years producing 2 kids until she died in a car accident

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Post #: 29

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 3:46:18 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

I'm really interested in this 30 year old guy...he's unlike any other dom i've ever talked too...i really do like him . The only thing that seems to be getting in the way is the age difference..but in the end when i'm like 20 something and he's in his 30's do people even pay that much attention to age anymore?
what do you guys think?

I just don't know...............i really like him.

lilmiss,

Some good comments have been given, but pay special attention to what LA said.

CP

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 30

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 3:50:04 AM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

Age does make a difference. Like everything in a relationship, does the difference enhance or deter from what is between the two people.
I've dated women my age and older. I've dated women less than half my age.
I've found more maturity and compatibility with ladies that were younger and immaturity and spitefulness in ladies my age.
It's just once piece of the puzzle.
More important ... each person's desire for ummms ... this splits relationships a lot.
Do you share interests .. same books, music, activities?
When you look at each other .. what do you see?
A prize to be won ...
Someone to give yourself to ...
A conquest ....
A friend, lover, companion ...

Those are the things that make a relationship, not age, race or religion.

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Post #: 31

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 3:50:10 AM

T1981

Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline

I'll toss my hat in the "depends" ring. Are you looking for just a playmate or something more long term? Our playmates are decades older than my husband and I, and it's working out fabulously. But if you're looking for something more long term, or a relationship, than the age difference may count for something.

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Post #: 32

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 3:52:06 AM

NormalOutside

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Joined: 1/8/2008
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quote:

is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom?

No.

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Post #: 33

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 3:52:09 AM

MissShey

Posts: 71
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

If it feels good, and right, then go for it.

Just be careful not to place too high an expectation of longevity on the relationship.

Enjoy it while you can. If it lasts, great. If it doesn't, then at least you will have had a good time and learned a lot of valuable lessons.

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 34

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 4:01:10 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I'll echo what the others have been saying.

I perved your profile and you're very attractive and your self description sounds like the perfect submissive. I suspect that that's due to reading.fantasizing rather than RL experience. But I know that if I had your ear I could easily push all your buttons.

Your journal seemed to me to indicate that you have gotten through most of the idiots and illiterates on this site. Your 30 year old Dom could be the genuine article or it could be someone trying to take advantage of you.

Go ahead and see where it leads, but go slow and learn about yourself as you do.

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RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 4:10:52 AM

BondageBarbieX

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Joined: 4/1/2008
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Not at all...I met my MasterDaddy when I was 15 and he was 28.

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 36

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 5:29:12 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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I am going to answer this from several points of view.

If you are looking for a relationship. Something that may have the outward appearance of a traditional hetro boyfriend girlfriend, take him home to meet the parents..........maybe. The maybe depends on things like, what your family is like, how close you are to your family, how much public image matters to you, where you live and the mindset there, how involved you expect him to be with the rest of your life and visa versa (example: his friends wives and girlfriends might try and make hanging out in couples venues a living hell for you) how able you are to withstand the potential flack.

I can say, from a mother's perspective, that it would be hard on him. My grown kids and I are close. If, at age 18, my daughter had begun dating a 3 yo, both myself, her dad, and her other brother, would have put him through the wringer. He would have had to be an exceptional guy to withstand it.

From a dirty old lady dominant perspective. I've had women in my life that there was a larger age spread and the age difference was the last thing on the list of problems. I don't care what most people think, including most of my family. I don't have a traditional relationship with them, which in many ways, makes it less of an issue to the public at large. Few even have a clue. And, I don't expect any one person to fill all the roles of a partner. If I want deep intellectual conversations and she isn't up to it, there are others that are. If we don't like the same television programmes, music, or movies, it doesn't matter at all. I am not looking for an, attached at the hip, soul mate.

Those are just a few thoughts I had, in addition to agreeing with many other excellent thoughts already given.

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(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 37

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 5:32:31 AM

JustDarkness

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Joined: 7/25/2008
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quote:

I can say, from a mother's perspective, that it would be hard on him. My grown kids and I are close. If, at age 18, my daughter had begun dating a 3 yo, both myself, her dad, and her other brother, would have put him through the wringer. He would have had to be an exceptional guy to withstand it.

I was not older then her parents...but I had some hard times with her parents.
Told them I would respond the same when I was alone with her dad talking. BEfore we had that talk..it was damn quiet at the table...lol

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 38

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 5:38:03 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Oddly enough, it's never been the 6ft tall, very protective, older brother, the even larger uncles, or retired military hardass dad, they had the most trouble with..........

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 39

RE: is an 18 year old sub too young for a 30 year old dom? - 1/31/2009 5:41:31 AM

Nikitaa

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Joined: 1/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa

Depends on how old your 18 is. Are you young and immature 18 or are you 18 with maturity of adult? The same applies to the 30 year old man. Is he old 30 or young 30?

I am 20 (dominant) and I am considering a 37 and 48 year old man (submissive) for my play toy. I am mature 20 so age not as big a factor. I am only using the men for toy and not having relationship so this is easier. If you are going to have more personal relationship with your dom you need maturity so man does not take advantage of you.

Good luck

ya exactly....see i don't even get along with guys my age because they aren't on my maturity level i've had to go through a lot of stuff for my age that has made me grow up quite a lot and more then the average 18 year old...talking to him is like a breath of fresh air, tbh.

Hopefully he is nice gentleman and you will enjoy. Remember this, something I learned. Older men have experience you do not possess. Some are cunning. Some know what to say to have you like them. They learn from many past experiences you do not have. I receive many messages from men who behave too perfect . Beware and be careful. You want relationship to work so you are blind some. I have made such mistake. You are 18 year old beautiful woman. Most men 30+ will never in entire life have someone pretty the same as you. Some will do many creative ideas to have and possess you. I hope he is nice man but be careful and remember, even the bad men will say all right words and behave perfectly in beginning.

(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)

Post #: 40

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