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RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/29/2006 7:05:42 PM

amativedame

Posts: 331
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline

I would really love to know where you are that you believe 8-16 is a small to normal size.

Certainly no "normal" store nor any size charts reflect that. Last time I checked a small was a size 4-6. PLUS size clothing starts at 14, not 18. Just like most plus size models tend to be around a size 12.

If you go by the average size of the American population, yes that is a normal size. However considering more of the American population is considered obese, that's not exactly a "true" statement. Just because 60% or more of Americans are overweight doesn't mean a size 16 is normal. That just means we aren't as healthy as we may have once been.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 41

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/29/2006 7:12:31 PM

IceyOne

Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

Well, in defense of DelRey...he did not say that he believed BBW's to be lazy...he said he did not LIKE the term because many women use it to put themselves down...as if it's a crime or something...at least, when I read his response,that is what I understood.

_____________________________

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

Post #: 42

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/29/2006 7:13:58 PM

MsIncognito

Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline

Maybe we Canadians are just weird (keep it down in the peanut gallery!

) but all the plus size stores here start at a size 14 as well. Regular sizes sometimes go up to 18, others up to a 15, but a regular size 18 just doesn't fit me properly (waaaaay too long in the inseam and waaaay too small in the waist) whereas a plus size 16 usually does the trick, vanity sizing aside.

quote:

ORIGINAL: amativedame
PLUS size clothing starts at 14, not 18.

< Message edited by MsIncognito -- 1/29/2006 7:14:19 PM >

(in reply to amativedame)

Post #: 43

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/29/2006 7:32:13 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

I Like using the term BBW, as it gets a couple of points across clear: 1) I am not small. 2) I'm large size and DAMN proud of who I am. It also has another bonus. It rids me from the beginning of contact by the judgmental pond scum who are so shallow all they see is the shape and not the individusl shining through. I mean... who needs 'em?

To answer the original poster, aside from the occasional troll now and then who send me stupid messages like "Aren't you a little heavy to be a Domme?" (to which I think, "Huh?!"), I've actually had no problems whatsoever. I have never had anyone say or look askance at me at parties, I've had men begging at my feet to worship me, or to have me spank their cute butts, and my weight has never entered into the picture at all, one way or the other. In fact, there are almost as many BBW's at the parties I've been to as there have been HWP women, and every bit as much in demand as their slimmer sisters!

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 44

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/29/2006 8:07:23 PM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

I am a bold and beautiful woman to the core. I am neither lazy, nor have I given up, I am a sensualist which makes for a happy subbie when I let my connection to the five senses run rampant in a scene.

I belong to the SW Ontario Canada kink community, I can't speak for anywhere else, but the folk I have met in my 6 yrs here have a much less narrow interpretation of beauty, size, age etc are not as important as the person's inner qualities. (oh yes we have our Stand & Model clubs, I just don't bother going there, I have lots of events to attend where I am appreciated.)

I adore bold handsome male subs, more "canvas" for my S&M "artwork" Plus they give the best teddy bear like hugs.

Lady Shoshin

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Just curious as to how many BBW's there are out here and what their experiences have been like. Good or bad. Or any advice that you might wish to share would be awsome.

In the same thought. how about you BHM? I wouldn't want to leave you gorgeous guys out,lol. Anything you have to say would be just as valuable.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)

Post #: 45

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/29/2006 8:24:53 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Just curious as to how many BBW's there are out here and what their experiences have been like. Good or bad. Or any advice that you might wish to share would be awsome.

In the same thought. how about you BHM? I wouldn't want to leave you gorgeous guys out,lol. Anything you have to say would be just as valuable.

Haven't had a BBW topic in awhile.

I'm fat, I dislike the term bbw.

In the bdsm world I'm actually on the thin end of the spectrum- about 185. I enjoy it. But I'd prefer to weight less.

Be yourself, try and be healthy.

As a friend says "By and large, women in the bdsm scene are bi and large."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)

Post #: 46

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/29/2006 9:46:07 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

I've got to say that for me, the grossly obese is un-attractive. I can't see myself with someone that is un-healthily large. But hey, to each there own, right. Those that I'm not attracted to, will be attractive to others. I am, by my own admission, a large man (6'2" - 240 lbs) But some wil be attracted to me and others won't. To those that aren't, their loss. To those that are, let the good times roll.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to amativedame)

Post #: 47

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/29/2006 9:46:57 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

I'm fat, I dislike the term bbw.

In the bdsm world I'm actually on the thin end of the spectrum- about 185. I enjoy it. But I'd prefer to weight less.

LA, if that is your photo, there is no way you can possibly weigh 185. You are a beautiful 185 for sure then.
As someone pointed out, a persons perception of themselves is far different than what others see them as. I would of never thought you were fat (Your word)

_____________________________

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 48

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 5:42:37 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
LA, if that is your photo, there is no way you can possibly weigh 185. You are a beautiful 185 for sure then.
As someone pointed out, a persons perception of themselves is far different than what others see them as. I would of never thought you were fat (Your word)

Thanks. I tend to carry my weight well and it is a great picture- I owe much to the photographer :)

But I am indeed about 185, size 16, and what I consider fat.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 49

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 6:09:40 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
But I am indeed about 185, size 16, and what I consider fat.

Well when I look at that photo I definatly don't think 'fat'... I think "Hello cutie" but maybe thats just me

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 50

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 7:55:24 AM

midnitegirluk

Posts: 15
Joined: 1/25/2006
From: North Yorkshire
Status: offline

Just like to Say hi to ScorpGirl444, (with reference to post 15) another PCOS here in same boat (diag 1994) I just managed to lose 15lb but cant go no further. I know what you are going through with all the side effects.
My size upsets me on occasion but i dont want to be 'skinny' either.
I am not big because i overeat, am lazy or given up on life, I regularly work out, dont have a gym near me so bought a few items and work at home.
T

(in reply to ScorpGirl444)

Post #: 51

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 12:57:57 PM

tendergirl

Posts: 103
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline

I am a big woman. I weigh in the region of 180lbs and I am a size 20. At first, I felt wonderful amongst the bdsm community as I really felt accepted for who I am. Now that I am active with a Dom, I feel embarrassed by my size. When He binds me and trys to move me, I am a dead weight. I can't hold positions that I would easily be able to hold were I thinner. My own weight works against me bondage wise at times and this really does embarrass me.

The result has been that I have gained weight since I became active in the scene as opposed to when I was successfully dieting just prior to getting naked and tied up alot!!!

My Dom is loving and gracious and never ever says anything other than that I am beautiful.

Please don't reply and tell me just to lose the weight, if it were that easy, there would be no more fat people.

I just wanted to add my thoughts to the discussion.

(in reply to Crazytwice)

Post #: 52

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 1:51:14 PM

IndigoDadesi

Posts: 185
Status: offline

Delrey: I appreciate the honestly in your posts. I also hate the term BBW because I hate the idea that I have this wonderfully accepted term that could excuse my over-abundance of flesh. I have an eating disorder (addiction to food) so anything that could excuse that, or my lack of discipline to my exercise regime is more dangerous than helpful. I just cant equate my own obesity to my personal health.

That is not to say that this term can not BE helpful to other ladies. Considering the weight issues that we have in North America, anything that can help us accept ourselves as who we are is a useful tool.

Sunshine119: you must have a gorgeous figure. I used to be a size 13 and Im 5'9"...and I gotta say I looked stacked back then.

As for the whole "Plus size starts at" thing. For sure there are going to be a few different answers to this, depending on what stores you shop at. Some "regular" stores stop at a 16-18; some plus size stores starts at a 18-20, it really just depends on the targeted customer for that particular store. I personally work at a tall women's clothing store and we start at a size 3 and go to a 22.

As for the modelling thing though. A plus sized model is any model of size 12 or higher. This lower size number description is used, among other reasons, because most runway models (read: victoria secret, vogue, etc.) are around a size 0. However, models come in all shapes and sizes, just like people. And, no, Im not going to quote my source for this info because it comes from alot of places. I used to model so I have an interest in the subject.

Respectfully,

~I.D.

(in reply to tendergirl)

Post #: 53

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 2:42:18 PM

MistressW

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline

In my experience as I am a Bigb beautiful woman and I am proud of the fact I have never been refused, been rude to by any subbie who I have met

my present subbie prefers Dommes that are big - but I also state you are who you are and my attitude is if ppl dont like me the way i am so be it - its there problem not mine

MistressW

(in reply to Crazytwice)

Post #: 54

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 3:00:08 PM

LadyElizabeth

Posts: 55
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline

Gee thanx for the "debate the label" hijacking guys!

To those of you that actually read the OP, and posted to it. Thank you for your contibution. It's refreshing to hear that we larger lasses (the term BBW left out to not offend the label hating ladies), are having an excellent time out here in the wonderful land of BDSM. That's all I was I was going for, I wasn't looking to start a pitty thread or a debate on labels or sizes or anything else that seemed to pop up in this thread.

As for you delray, I use the term BBW to eleaviate the need to say I'm 240lbs but still a beautiful woman, full of life, love and sin. I am in no way lazy.

As a mother to two young boys that resemble Bart Simpson on "roids". I can't afford that luxury. I also have a BHM husband that hunts and fishes in some of the most rugged territory imaginable and I have seen smaller well built men not able to keep up with him or us for that matter. So your theory that the label enables someone to give up is out to lunch buddy. I will not appologize for wearing it as a badge of honour either. I can if I want to. Besides, it seems to fit me like a leather glove.

As for you ladies that took offence to the "label". If you read the OP, you may notice this wasn't a thread on whether or not that label was to your liking. I was merely looking to hear from other BBW's and BHM, on their experiences in the lifestyle. It was not started as someone mentoned, to "beat a dead horse".

That said, happy posting everyone.

_____________________________

Judge not lest ye be judged.

I do have a profile, for some reason you have to actually search my name from cm's main page. I have no idea why, that's just the way it is. lol.

(in reply to IndigoDadesi)

Post #: 55

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 3:38:58 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

as someone mentoned, to "beat a dead horse".
=====

snicker giggle...
i assume it is NOT like beating-a-slaveboy then????/

he he chuckle

ok
cheap joke

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)

Post #: 56

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 3:58:10 PM

bear372217355

Posts: 94
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

I'm 35, 350lbs and stand 6'2" tall, I used to play football, both in school and semi pro. I have six pins in my right hip, a kevlar knee cap, two rods in my right shin, a plate in my skull, 2 pins in each shoulder, and a plate in my chest. I can guarantee you, not only am I a hoot in an airport, I have not given up, I am not lazy, but I do love bon bons, especialy the ones with caramel or the ones with the whole cherry in them. OMG those are good.

You might out run me, you might even out lift me, but I doubt you could keep up to me on being real. I hate labels, as does Mi'Lady, but the neccessity of them to shorten a conversation in type, or to generalize a description for expedience sake, has become the norm. Perhaps that's the laziness you refer to. I generally just refer to myself as the fat kid, but to each her/his own. Just like you are entitled to your opinion, I guess.

I could go into a long rant about all the young "outdoorsmen" that poke fun at me about my size. That is of course until they can no longer keep up to me on a trail or up some swift river we're fly fishing in. Oh sure they can negociate most obsticles faster then me for the first half of the day, but I can do it all day and on into the night if the need be.

But hey what do I know, I'm just the fat kid.

Just so Mi'Lady does not get mad at me for hijacking the thread...

My experiences have been excellent, the people we have met have been for the most part excellent people. The openness and exceptance we have seen has been image shattering. This lifestyle IMHO, attracts and nurtures the best kind of people.

< Message edited by bear372217355 -- 1/30/2006 4:06:39 PM >

_____________________________

Collared, caged and the sole property of Lady Elizabeth.

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 57

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 4:03:12 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth
As for you delray, I use the term BBW to eleaviate the need to say I'm 240lbs but still a beautiful woman, full of life, love and sin. I am in no way lazy.

The question is- why do you need to say that?

Why is BBW a popular term and not TBW? Thin or average women don't need to say all that- they don't need to justify who they are.

IMO I think people who use the term are more hyper sensitive about their weight than the people they actually interact with.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)

Post #: 58

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 4:20:48 PM

LadyElizabeth

Posts: 55
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth
As for you delray, I use the term BBW to eleaviate the need to say I'm 240lbs but still a beautiful woman, full of life, love and sin. I am in no way lazy.

The question is- why do you need to say that?

Why is BBW a popular term and not TBW? Thin or average women don't need to say all that- they don't need to justify who they are.

IMO I think people who use the term are more hyper sensitive about their weight than the people they actually interact with.

Holy crap. No the question was, "how's it going for you in the lifestyle" not why I choose to call myself BBW or not.

And I'm far from hyper sensitive about my weight, I clearly posted it and you quoted it.

Here's a couple new acronyms for you.

PWCTAH...People who can't take a hint
PWHOPT...People who hijack other peoples threads
PWDLORC...People who don't listen or read clearly

I did not and do not want to debate labels. I was curious about other BBW's experiences out here.
If you don't consider yourself a BBW or you don't like BBW's or the term, then bugger off and don't post here. Go start a thread on that topic. This isn't that thread.

_____________________________

Judge not lest ye be judged.

I do have a profile, for some reason you have to actually search my name from cm's main page. I have no idea why, that's just the way it is. lol.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 59

RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 1/30/2006 4:27:36 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth
I did not and do not want to debate labels. I was curious about other BBW's experiences out here.
If you don't consider yourself a BBW or you don't like BBW's or the term, then bugger off and don't post here. Go start a thread on that topic. This isn't that thread.

HAC (here's a clue):

Once you post something in public, it ceases to be under your direct control. Threads can and will be taken in whatever ways the people who post want to take them. That is the way of the cyberland board discussion.

I responded to the "how's it going for you." The answer: For most people it's going exactly the same as it does in the big wide world of non-kink.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)

Post #: 60

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