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RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/23/2006 6:11:22 PM   
HentaiGamerKitty


Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Ach! everybody has their prefernces..wether in height,weight,social status,whatever..I think there are some who like BBW and some who dont no matter how wonderful a person is they will be rejected by the ones whom weight is an issue,a BBW could have a most beautiful face,intelligience,personality plus but to some, they just cannot get past the weight issue,I do not think this makes them a bad person..however..it does limit their choices when seeking their match.To myself looks are not an issue,what is an issue with me is intelligience,I crave an intelligient man,does this make me perjudicial?to some no to others yes,depending on which side of the intelligience fence they are on.I mean face it we all have preferences.But lucky enough they all vary,so what someone finds unattractive another finds appealing.Eye of the beholder folks!....be well..Tempting


You sound like me! Sometimes I initially am a bit offended when someone rejects me because of my size, but then I remember how many guys I've rejected for not being "smart enough." We're all particular about *something*. For me, it's intellect. He better have an IQ over 140 if he wants my attention!

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/23/2006 7:26:10 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Wow this was an incredible, powerful, poignant, and interesting thread.
 
It seemed to push a lot of buttons and open up some real heart felt sharing.
 
My experience in the 10 or so years I have been into BDSM has been incredibly positive, I keep meeting great folks, dom, sub, male, female, thin and fat. I could be wrong but it seems there is a bit more tolerance for body types here then in the vanilla world simply because we all know how important it is to be tolerant of each other and our proclivity's.
 
I think BDSM is a playground for the sexually and emotionally mature folks of the world, and I think with that maturity comes the knowledge that sex is really a mental adventure, and that what makes a person beautiful is their openness, willingness and vulnerability, and their capacity to give selflessly and to communicate openly... (speaking of doms here as well)
 
And I think because BDSM offers so much in roles people can play, toys they can play with, levels of intensity and thresh holds of pain and fear, that the physical body looses its importance, in fact, time and space  seem to stand still, we get to journey into these other realms that go beyond physical form and into a place of symmetry, trust, union, rhythm, and universal wholeness.
 
 
 

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 3/23/2006 7:33:45 PM >

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to HentaiGamerKitty)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/23/2006 8:18:33 PM   
spadsangelslave


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline 		 have PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome. The condition makes you over produce insulin and fucks up your sugar pretty good.
 geee... i wish that was ALL that was wrong with me, but when i got preg. I got Diabetis.. and it Never went away,.. so im stuck with that the rest of my life.

(in reply to Crazytwice)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/23/2006 9:39:43 PM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Just curious as to how many BBW's there are out here and what their experiences have been like. Good or bad. Or any advice that you might wish to share would be awsome.

In the same thought. how about you BHM? I wouldn't want to leave you gorgeous guys out,lol. Anything you have to say would be just as valuable.


Niether my Dragon nor myself are small people.  We have not had any bad experiences at the club that we go to.  There seems to be alot of BBW and BBM at this club, so we are not out of place.  But, hell, I may be considered overweight, but I am beautiful.  As long as my Master thinks so, that is all that matters.

1st girl Phoenix 

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/24/2006 12:31:09 AM   
EasyE


Posts: 111
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline 		I am neither a Woman nor significantly overweight, except those damn love handels.

I know some women like men chunky while some like them ripped.  I am sure the same is true with most men that is true also.  Some people are shallow and can not look past appearance.  Would you want one of these people to serve/dominate you anyway?

I believe it is improper for a Master/Mistress to insult a slave's weight as in womens cases can have a greater inpact and even cause pyschological trauma.  If the Dom is a destroyer instead of a builder then they will say anything anyways.

The people I truly love that are overweight only bothers me because I worry about their health and them dying.  Some people are overweight by choice, weakness, or genetics.

I think it is more about how you feel.  If you accept yourself then whoever you choose to Worship or Dom you should too.  I am not saying it won't be harder for you.  Don't give up this it can be a hard long and discouraging process to find someone. 

Hey and if the world is struck with hunger the models will starve first (joke)!!!

Feel free to contact me anytime.

(in reply to Crazytwice)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/25/2006 1:40:17 AM   
dincubus


Posts: 231
Joined: 10/22/2005
From: South Dakota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyElizabeth

Just curious as to how many BBW's there are out here and what their experiences have been like. Good or bad. Or any advice that you might wish to share would be awsome.

In the same thought. how about you BHM? I wouldn't want to leave you gorgeous guys out,lol. Anything you have to say would be just as valuable.


Personally, I have always been more attracted to the larger woman. It is a personal thing for me that I have tried to explain to many, but yet none seem to grasp it all. Who knows, maybe one day they will understand.

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/25/2006 2:30:05 AM   
MistressLucyK


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

And I think because BDSM offers so much in roles people can play, toys they can play with, levels of intensity and thresh holds of pain and fear, that the physical body looses its importance, in fact, time and space  seem to stand still, we get to journey into these other realms that go beyond physical form and into a place of symmetry, trust, union, rhythm, and universal wholeness
 
I agree totally, size shouldn't be an issue, afterall its the mind I'm seeking. If someone doesn't like my appearance and yes I'm no Miss average size, its frankly their loss!

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/25/2006 2:33:20 AM   
MistressLucyK


Posts: 34
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		Help needed ....can someone tell me how to get the quote thingy right!

(in reply to MistressLucyK)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/25/2006 2:38:29 AM   
Darkraven6


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline 		I personally dont post my pic on this or any site, for the shear fact that I do not believe that a sincer Dom or Master that is intrested in finding a sub, would find the outside as important as what they find in my mind.  I have always been a sub, and have learned long ago, that it is your mind, your heart and your desire and need that make you want to be a good sub.  I dont feel that this topic has any merit in a bdsm site, because of the fact that, size, be it large or small, does not make a good or bad person.  It does not make a sub any less a sub to be large, or small.  But, it does tend to make one question how sincer a person who would judge anyone simply by size, really is as far as being a good Dom or Master.  (or Domme or Mistress ).  You cant really feel, that if you found somone that you felt was the perfict sub, mind, heart, desire, limits, etc., wise on here, youd not want them if they were larger or smaller then what youd think they should be?  That would be very sad...no ones perfict, be it a sub, slave, Dom, Domme, Master or Mistress...what should matter, is whats inside.  Its a shame, thats not always the case.

(in reply to Crazytwice)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/25/2006 3:10:35 AM   
Cristalin


Posts: 84
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		in my corner of the world bbw doesn`t mean anything, cause we don`t speak english...i use the term as a clichee in some of my profiles just to let people know i am not slim or normal size...and it is not the weight that really bothers me , but the deformities of my body...until i entered in this fascinating bdsm world i couldn`t stand myself...but the fact that some of the persons i chat with seems to really like me helped me to reasses my standards...i`m not saying i love myself now but i`m accepting that being fat doesn`t mean i don`t deserve to be happy...and for me sexuality cames from inside, the most important sexual organ of mine is my brain...i`ve always said: he who will dominate my mind will own me...
...i have no real experience in bdsm world, i`m a novice with some on-line training...but i do it with all my being, with my heart and my soul and my body...even if it is crippled

(in reply to Darkraven6)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/25/2006 1:48:27 PM   
sweetbbwsub31


Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		Hi LadyElizabeth,
 
From my personal experience, those involved in the lifestyle are very accepting of those of us that are larger women. In my eyes sexy is a state of mind. I am a larger woman but very comfortable in my own skin.
 
BDSM is in the mind. Case in point...my previous Dom was not "my type" at all. I usually am attracted to big men. He was very thin and 21 years my senior. However, once he got into my head he rocked my world like no other!
 
My point is that you have to be happy with yourself no matter what size you are.  Life is way too short to be unhappy. So, if you are a large person but you are healthy and feel good about yourself it shines through. Everyone is beautiful..its just a matter of believing in yourself and finding someone who accepts you for who you are.
 
Good luck finding what you are looking for sweetie.

(in reply to LadyElizabeth)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/25/2006 2:40:16 PM   
LostLenore


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline 		The reason the label BBW exists is that human beings are endlessly categorizing, subcategorizing and recategorizing themselves.  Colored became Black became African American and, as best I can tell, is back to Black again now.  It's important for a group, especially one that has been derided or denied rights, to name itself in positive terms.  Analyzing the semantics too much can detract from making real progress toward equality.

Big Beautiful Woman is certainly an improvement over fat bitch, lardass, cow and other hurtful terms hurled at overweight women.  The first time I heard it, I felt a new dawning confidence.  The idea of a large woman being perceived as attractive was so alien to me then.  It made me question everything I'd been taught about appearance and self-worth.  I began to hold my head a little higher and feel self-conscious a little less.  Did it give me an excuse to give up and be lazy?  No, I was already fat despite diets and exercise.  But it gave me strength to stop hating myself because my body is (and has been since birth) different from the emaciated ideal of American society.

For the most part, the BDSM community seems more welcoming to BBWs and BHMs than the vanilla singles scene.  Maybe because we're more open-minded all the way around or because even those with "perfect" bodies know how it feels to be an outsider to some degree.  In any case, I've seen enough BBW & BHM flesh at scene events to no longer be so shy about showing my own and to realize that attractiveness really does come in all sizes.

Can that possibly be a bad thing?  Does it make me want to eat more?  No, I actually lost over 50 pounds awhile back, and I'd be delighted to keep dropping.  What's important is that if I never lose another ounce, I'm comfortable with myself now.  My mental outlook is so much better that it probably impacts my physical health more than extra pounds.

(in reply to Crazytwice)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/29/2006 10:49:33 AM   
acctonthelook


Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline 		Hi Everyone -
I have read most of the thread an find it amazing that it's still a debated issue of the use of BBW or BHM to describe oneself.  What I'd like to know is why it's an issue at all, what someone chooses to label or not label themselves? 
 
I'm just me.  I was super thin as a child, hit puberty and gained weight, parents sent me to fat camp 3 yrs in a row, was thin for most of high school, and slowly my body just got up to 200 @ 5'4" where my body's ideal weight seems to be the most apt at staying.  When I try to lose weight it just goes right back slowly.  My eating or level of fitness never really changes.  I'm not thin and I'm not large.  I am just me.  And my body says it's most comfortable at 200.  I don't have high cholesterol or high blood pressure or diabetics. 
 
Who am I to argue?  I've done the self destructive thinking and lost my sense of self many a time, all to just come to the conclusion...I'm just me. 
 
As for attractiveness, God I get many compliments on my looks, persona, sensuality, and bedroom skills and have actually rarely been without a date or partner.  I'm 40 now and the comfort zone has finally arrived.  I believe that no matter a persons size, it all really boils down to what attracts you.  I enjoy a husky man over 5'10".  That's just me.  I like the football or well lived kind of man.  If I'm with a woman, I prefer a little meat too.  The thin shape just doesn't attract me. At some point in my years I saw paintings with rubenesque (sp?) women and saw so much beauty that maybe it's just where my sense of self and feminity comes from.  I have a great curvy shape and I'm comfortable with just being me. 
 
Re the OP:
I wouldn't dream of hurting someone's feelings and try to always be nice and diplomatic in my interactions with others.  I do believe in being upfront with what attracts me and what does not, but to purposely hurt another's feelings, is just not right. It can show the intense personal insecurities of the accuser. NO ONE likes to have hurt directed towards them. 
 
Just be kind to one another and you will get ten fold back. It's a gift you give yourself and others will appreciate the kindness. I only wish to have the kindness of another by my side always.
 
Just as I am - Olivia

(in reply to LostLenore)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/29/2006 11:18:18 AM   
swellslave


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/10/2006
Status: offline 		i apologize for not reveiwing the entire thread to see if the answer to my question had been given. my question is: Is a huge cock a selling point to a BBW Domme, and should this be respectfully highlighted when petitioning to serve?

(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: BBW's in a BDSM world - 3/29/2006 5:03:38 PM   
SadisticDesire


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		Wow, I dont think being a BBW is any different from anything else. Nor do I think it has a huge impact on my life in BDSM. IMHO its all in how you carry yourself every day. If you exude confidence from every pore on your body, then nothing else matters. As for being fat, yeah I'm fat.....SO WHAT. Im healthy, happy, flexible, my Partner says I am the sexiest woman he has ever seen, and thats all that matters to me. When you love yourself, everything else seems trivial. When I look in the mirror every day, I can honestly say I am happy with the person I am inside and out. I love my curves, and the way my skin is soft and smooth. If someone wants to pass judgement on me because of the size of my hips and hiney, they probably werent worth my time in the first place..... 

_____________________________

Give her two red roses, one with a note that says," To The Woman I Love" and the other with a note that says, " To My Best Friend".

(in reply to LKP79)
Profile   Post #: 115
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