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Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 4:21:37 AM

Esinn

Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline

Is this a joke?

How about going to some posh down town store to pick out new shoes and an outfit. When you get there the sign reads: Closed - Under Consideration of new management/Slightly possibly chance of buy out sometime soon

Just because someone is too lazy, unable to or lacks the negotiating skills to close a deal and reap the reward does not mean I can not or vice versa.

For I/we if the decision is made to bring in another I know it will be a very important decision. I know I want to keep all options open(void when open or prodded all sale final). Truthfully though I do not desire to limit someones ability to make an intelligent and informed decision. If you like DomJoJo better than me that is your loss :) I will also maintain control of every aspect of the situation as I never desire to pay a restocking fee because of my fault or hers.

As I only have less than a week here I might be missing something. But this seems like a cowards way to 'seclude' the sub/slave while he/she buys time. Subs/slaves do you tell your friends, "He has me under consideration it is going great!" If a female is marked UC is this something I really need to respect by not speaking with her? Are there unwritten rules here? I know I know I can ask her. However, my question is are there any general rules of engagement that I am not yet aware of?

What do you do? How do you feel when UC? What do you do you do when you mark someone UC(what are you considering).
E

Post #: 1

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 4:33:02 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

In the vanilla world, there's dating, engaged, married. Each represents a different stage and level of commitment.

UC is somewhat analogous to engaged. It's not quite collared (married), but it's supposed to be pretty darn serious.

It's gotten a bad rap due to some men using it to "lock up" women while they continue to cheat.

If she's under consideration, then yes, you treat her like she's collared and ask her Dom's permission to talk with her.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Esinn)

Post #: 2

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 4:37:18 AM

Esinn

Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline

Thank you

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 3

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 4:42:20 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I view it as all being very high school. But then again I'm not into all kinds of protocol.
Someone who would put me under consideration would not be a good match at all for me.
I'd laugh and walk away.

_____________________________

(in reply to Esinn)

Post #: 4

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 5:05:41 AM

Esinn

Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

In the vanilla world, there's dating, engaged, married. Each represents a different stage and level of commitment.

UC is somewhat analogous to engaged. It's not quite collared (married), but it's supposed to be pretty darn serious.

It's gotten a bad rap due to some men using it to "lock up" women while they continue to cheat.

If she's under consideration, then yes, you treat her like she's collared and ask her Dom's permission to talk with her.

No, no hold on. I apologize it is 8am I have not slept yet my mind is drifting. I do not think you have either Steve - you posted at midnight didn't ya? The "UC" I am speaking of is being used on the other side of this forum. I fully grasp the real life meaning. I have been viewing the other side of collar me as simply a dating network like match.com excpet one which caters to non-vanilla. However, what you are telling me is the other side of collarme can be used as a dating network but is also a social network?

That was the reason I was troubled by the fact people were being placed "UC" prior to the 'dating'. I have actually been using it as a social network but for some reason I must have felt I was unique and others were not making such a distinction. I am still confused on the overall consensus of the other side. Thinking about the profiles I have trolled the vast majority seemed to be singles looking.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 5

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 5:31:17 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

We both stopped talking to others prior to meeting. Why? Because we had formed a connection online and wanted to focus on it fully to see where it went.

I view UC as though you have a position to fill in your office but instead of hiring someone outright, you offer them a temp position while you both see if it's a good fit. Do they fit in with your corporate culture? Are you the kind of boss they respect and can work for?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Esinn)

Post #: 6

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 5:55:01 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

the internet media strikes again lol underconstruction subs

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 7

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 6:09:13 AM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

I don't necessarily see a problem with this as a means of expressing another level to an existing relationship. I guess I could be considered "under consideration" and it has nothing to do with locking me up while I am being cheated on. We are planning a very formal joining and a very ritualistic collaring to follow. We do not want to do any of this until we can be a lot closer together than we are now (read under the same roof) and we do have rental contracts we are both obliged to for the next 6-9 months. Another couple months for moving and setting up housekeeping, getting things flowing normally a bit. After that, the big events! There's a lot involved and a lot of planning and preparation to do, so we have this weird grey space in our relationship called "under consideration" or "training" whatever. What's so hard to understand and sinister about that?

Now as for the ones who are "considering" a subbie within days of joining cm and are collared soon after, OP, do you really think these are people you would be compatible with anyway? It doesn't sound like your game. You don't have to play. Just let it be.

lovingpet

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 8

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 6:28:35 AM

HatesParisHilton

Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

Nillaworld would probably be better off with a lower divorce rate if they adopted this practice.

< Message edited by HatesParisHilton -- 6/27/2009 6:32:23 AM >

_____________________________

I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 9

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 6:29:23 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

We use a Probationary Collar instead of a Collar of Consideration. We are all learning about and assessing each other.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 10

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 6:51:31 AM

kuriouswitch

Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline

before I got into the relationship I am in now. I'd been in one with another Dom, he asked me to wear his collar and I told him I wasn't sure (it was my first D/s relationship) and that while I wanted to be his I was nervous and would like it to be a collar of consideration first so that I'd have more leeway to learn, that things wouldn't be as structured but also as we used the chat rooms a lot it would allow me to continue to go and know i wasn't going to have to fight off trolls. He thought about it and agreed, saying that he'd make it a collar of consideration until I thought I was ready.

For me it was the best choice at the time and I didn't cheat around on him but some things on his end did happen and I'm glad now that I wasn't fully collared it would have made it a lot harder to leave the relationship than it already was.

(in reply to Esinn)

Post #: 11

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 6:59:43 AM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

For us, there will be very little difference between how things are now and how things will be after the collaring. It is simply a logistical period, rather than a specific stage of our commitment. We have a great body of knowledge about each other and are intimately familiar with how things tick. My communications and interactions are overseen, if not outright handled. I have expectations and "rules" if you will. The stricture may tighten some after, but only because of proximity and being able to be more hands on about things.

Normally, I think it is a step along the commitment and intimacy path, which is fine. It allows growth in the relationship to be recognized and celebrated. It allows expectations to be raised on both sides. I really see no issue with it. It always really seems to come down to the people involved and how they use it.

lovingpet

(in reply to kuriouswitch)

Post #: 12

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 7:22:56 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

In My World: Under Consideration= Selected, Dating

Under Consideration: Back off

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to Esinn)

Post #: 13

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 7:34:45 AM

HatesParisHilton

Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

wow, e-sinn, Cat doesn't sound like she's joking in any manner or form.

_____________________________

I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 14

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 7:39:06 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

In my world, there is no such thing as "under consideration". I don't do the whole new terminology drama.

Pretty simple really, we talk, we get to know one another, we evolve. If things proceed well, exclusivity follows. Both parties have to want it or we were not compatible to begin with.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Esinn)

Post #: 15

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 7:42:20 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

Most doms wanted to put me under consideration in order to take me off of the market and more control who talked to me.

I can't remember if M and I ever did that. I do know that I refused to change my profile until he changed his. He totally understood this and we changed them the same night saying something along the lines of how we were talking, things were looking good, and after we met we would decide one way or another.

I saw so many sub/slaves gushing about being owned, collared, under consideration..blah, blah..but when you went to the doms, there was just how they were searching and what they were looking for. That seems like a huge double standard.

Whatever floats peoples kink boats though..to each their own.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)

Post #: 16

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 7:44:02 AM

justme1980

Posts: 169
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

Is this a joke?

How about going to some posh down town store to pick out new shoes and an outfit. When you get there the sign reads: Closed - Under Consideration of new management/Slightly possibly chance of buy out sometime soon

Just because someone is too lazy, unable to or lacks the negotiating skills to close a deal and reap the reward does not mean I can not or vice versa.

For I/we if the decision is made to bring in another I know it will be a very important decision. I know I want to keep all options open(void when open or prodded all sale final). Truthfully though I do not desire to limit someones ability to make an intelligent and informed decision. If you like DomJoJo better than me that is your loss :) I will also maintain control of every aspect of the situation as I never desire to pay a restocking fee because of my fault or hers.

As I only have less than a week here I might be missing something. But this seems like a cowards way to 'seclude' the sub/slave while he/she buys time. Subs/slaves do you tell your friends, "He has me under consideration it is going great!" If a female is marked UC is this something I really need to respect by not speaking with her? Are there unwritten rules here? I know I know I can ask her. However, my question is are there any general rules of engagement that I am not yet aware of?

What do you do? How do you feel when UC? What do you do you do when you mark someone UC(what are you considering).
E

For me, " Under consideration" mean that while am here attempting to build a relationship with someone, I am still open to the possibility of friendship with others

(in reply to Esinn)

Post #: 17

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 8:12:28 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I don't do many formalities. Collars of permanance, consideration, or branding ect, not my thing. But some people like them. The last time it did anything for me I was given a surfer cross from Jim C in the 6th grade. WOOOHOO... I was jazzed to have people see his cross on my chest. Now it is enough for me/us to say, ok.. you are the only one I want to continue seeing. It is like going steady I guess.
I really can't see being put in a collar of consideration if people have not met in person. But I suppose it gives them the same feeling of Wooohoo to be claimed.
Kyst

(in reply to justme1980)

Post #: 18

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 8:49:27 AM

janiebelle

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/29/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

In my world, there is no such thing as "under consideration". I don't do the whole new terminology drama.

Pretty simple really, we talk, we get to know one another, we evolve. If things proceed well, exclusivity follows. Both parties have to want it or we were not compatible to begin with.

Like she said.
When I am exploring the possibility of a relationship with a particular man and am open about it, that does not imply the "BACK OFF" that one might infer from a label of Under Consideration.
j

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 19

RE: Under Consideration - 6/27/2009 9:15:10 AM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

No, no hold on. I apologize it is 8am I have not slept yet my mind is drifting. I do not think you have either Steve - you posted at midnight didn't ya? The "UC" I am speaking of is being used on the other side of this forum. I fully grasp the real life meaning. I have been viewing the other side of collar me as simply a dating network like match.com excpet one which caters to non-vanilla. However, what you are telling me is the other side of collarme can be used as a dating network but is also a social network?

CollarMe is both a way of meeting potential partners and a social networking site. There is a broad variety of individuals who participate on CollarMe. Some are already in existing monogamous relationships and are only seeking friends. Some are exploring. Some are in transitional relationship states. The only way to know is to read the profile and accept as a 'given' that what the individual profile says the situation is accurately reflects the person's situation.

If someone accepts hirself as 'under consideration', and abides by the relationship rules for that, and those relationship rules include not accepting contact from individuals not approved by the person xhe has accepted as having authority over hir, even temporarily, than that is something that I, nor anyone else, has the right to presume to 'correct'. No matter how irrelevant an outsider sees 'consideration' as, what is relevant is how the individuals -in- the dynamic see it and use it.

Of course, this also compels that the individual in question would abide by hir own acceptance and not respond to overtures outside of hir existing dynamic.

Dame Calla

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to Esinn)

Post #: 20

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