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tuff titty said the kitty when the milk ran dry!

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i think i am looking at this differently than you are. Master has final word, and always does what he feels is in our best interest, even if it is something i might not like, and might even plead against. Ultimately, i have to trust his final word.

But, i don't see that as a realtionship which has no feelings. i don't see it that i mean nothing to him either, in fact, based on the journey we have had, i know very much that he cares for me.

i also know that circumstances in life change. There are ebbs and flows and situations which were not planned for. At times he may have to change the course, and i must trust that it is for the greater good. If i don't then we don't have much of anything.

This is not to say i wouldn't have the opportunity to express my feelings - all of them. They would be discussed. But if the outcome ends up differently than i had hoped for, i have to trust in his view of the bigger picture. When i begged him to own me, it was to run me as he sees fit - not when he sees fit except when i don't like it.

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ORIGINAL: CERCKL

truesub4u, if I am reading her post correctly, is asking why do some try to base D/s on 'trust' when they have no intention of communicating, plan to do whatever, etc...regardless of what had been communicated. All I can say truesub4u, some people lie, manipulate, abuse to have control...I am NOT talking mindplay, or kink or anything like that, same as you find in any other relationship. Some people are just arseholes...
C

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ORIGINAL: CERCKL


This is different than what truesub4u seems to be obsessing on...and it has a legit element...back to falsehood. You're situation is ideal if you will, knowing your Master has your best interests at heart. You seem to have a situation that even though you might not get your outcome, nonetheless your Master DOES listen to you...truesub4u, if I am reading her post correctly, is asking why do some try to base D/s on 'trust' when they have no intention of communicating, plan to do whatever, etc...regardless of what had been communicated. All I can say truesub4u, some people lie, manipulate, abuse to have control...I am NOT talking mindplay, or kink or anything like that, same as you find in any other relationship. Some people are just arseholes... I know I have been defined as such, even when I have tried to present myself correctly (r/l or online).
C

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Obsessing? Ok maybe a little.. because of the frustration of seeing it on the board. It's Doms like this.. that give others... NOT ALL.. a bad rep. A newbie comes on here.. take a look at the forums.. sees this action... whooops.. a possible good sub/slave for someone just ran out the door. Or sits there and thinks this normal behavior and ends up getting the short end of the stick.

Yeah I know..I ranted over something that will never change...but sometimes... it just needs to be done... for ones own peace of mind.

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

i agree, which is why the last sentence of my post (which was omitted in your reply) said basically that. There are selfish and bad people that enter into unhealthy relationships.

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i think i am looking at this differently than you are. Master has final word, and always does what he feels is in our best interest, even if it is something i might not like, and might even plead against. Ultimately, i have to trust his final word.

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don't want to dig up that dead horse yet again... lol)

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Now for the question. What on Earth would you ever plead against?? lol I can't even fathom pleading for anything in which a decision has already been made. Are you speaking of times when decisions are still up in the air and your input is still acceptable?

Enlighten me! ::chuckles::

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

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don't want to dig up that dead horse yet again... lol)

~ handing you an apple ~

You CAN, however, be a good friend and educate others on what healthy relationships can be.

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ORIGINAL: angelic

had she said "hey cool... i'm getting another man" too!!! ?

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

There are times when feelings should not be "fed." Ignored means not even acknowledged, which also means he turns a blind eye to them. So i agree feelings should not be ignored.

But in the example LA used, if i am completely overreacting to something and not stopping to listen to him but arguing endlessly instead, he will turn away, until i change my frame of mind and can express myself and listen to him calmly. i call that discipline, rather than ignoring. i disagree, however, that feelings should not be expressed, particularly if the slave is required to be transparent and express everything. The sub/slave just needs to express such feelings appropriately.

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ORIGINAL: truesub4u

But then again we join back the ranks of flip flops... flip.. he listens... flops.. he ignores... flip.. she stays.. flops.. she walks. This has got to be causing a strain on both parties. When from the get so.. it's the Doms responsiblity (To quote others here now) to make sure things run smoothly in their domain.

So a Dom decides... Looky here slave.. from now on.. keep all thoughts.. ideas... feelings.. opinions to your own damn self.... Don't know about others.. but after I stop laughing... I'm headed for the door. But he asks me to stay.. and we'll work on things together.. next go around.. same thing... he claims to listen.. nods his head.. even gives feed back.. but simply ignores it all.......... DING DING DING...... there's sub/slave.. headed to the door again.

See the pattern??? So again it's asked.... how can a sub/slave... feel free to open up.. communicate... express... when they know deep down.. they're going to be ignored again?

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And then in yet another post, they state a slave can have feelings, thoughts, opinions, but that doesn't mean that said Dom has to pay attention to them. WTF??????

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ORIGINAL: truesub4u


For Example.... Master I feel we can not go to Nashville Next month, the bills say no.... Master can say screw that...and still go.

Master... I do not feel I can be involved in a poly relationship.... Master really needs to listen.. and act on this.. to ignore this statement.. and go ahead without taking into account his sub/slave has mixed feelings... (granted in the end.. he has to decide.. if losing the sub/slave he has now.. is worth it or not) Especially when upon entering said relationship.. it was agreed on no polly. And now Master has changed his mind.

But that's been an example. Not something to actually argue over. It's the fear of communication, and expressing... because of past "ignorings".. how does the sub/slave express and communicate... Master.. we agreed no poly.. and for him to say.. STFU I decide.

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ORIGINAL: Prunesquallor

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ORIGINAL: angelic

had she said "hey cool... i'm getting another man" too!!! ?

Your question wasn't directed at me, but in such a situation I would wonder who was the Dom in the relationship.