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RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/9/2006 5:05:49 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i have to say this... i used to call "flip flops"... 'thongs'... that's what they were when i was growing up as a kid... the first time i said 'i'm putting my thongs on' in front of my two teenaged young men... they both went 'GROSS MOM!!!'... little did i know they meant something ENTIRELY different than i..now i call 'em flip flops

ok... just wanted to throw that in...

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/9/2006 5:08:30 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		after reading some of the other posts here... how can one have communication WITHOUT listening? wouldn't that be like talking to the wall in Yyour living room? YOU are communicating but the wall isn't listening...

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/9/2006 5:10:45 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


I would just add that in order to understand, you have to listen. One gives birth to the other.

Level


Or read... Sometimes I put my most difficult thoughts and feelings on paper or in an email. Then he can read it at a time and place of his own choosing. Sometimes it leads to discussions; sometimes I get a simple but heartfelt thank you for sharing and sometimes it isn't mentioned at all. In the year and half that I have known him, I have not once felt ignored.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/9/2006 5:26:53 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

From the subject heading I thought truesub was very upset over the flip flop footwear trend, from sequins to shells to beads to transparent colored plastic. I was going to admire her fashion passion.


Trust me.. now I wish I had of... LOL

Because as usual... some people are reading things.. that are not there.. and not reading.. what is there. But then again.. this is just words on a screen.. and with out knowing the person directly.. it's always hard to tell exactly what they're saying.... how they're saying it. Some have understood exacty. Others have taken offense.. nothing I can do about that.

It's a non win situation. (Not that I was trying to win anything). But I finally took a few others advice and started reading the profiles of the posters here on the forums. I've never been much of a profile reader. And the ones I seen pulling the "flip flps".. lol.."thongs".. I understand alittle more.. of the dream worlds they developed around themselves. And when one is lost in their own world... there's no pulling them out of it. And it's not that I was trying.. because I didn't know of it. But now I understand more.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/9/2006 5:40:13 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level


I would just add that in order to understand, you have to listen. One gives birth to the other.

Level


Or read... Sometimes I put my most difficult thoughts and feelings on paper or in an email. Then he can read it at a time and place of his own choosing. Sometimes it leads to discussions; sometimes I get a simple but heartfelt thank you for sharing and sometimes it isn't mentioned at all. In the year and half that I have known him, I have not once felt ignored.

Knight's kyra


Yes, or read *smiles*........but some might call that listening with the eyes lol (or mind, or heart). And to not feel ignored, is a wonderful thing.

Level

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/9/2006 5:52:13 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Yes, or read *smiles*........but some might call that listening with the eyes lol (or mind, or heart). And to not feel ignored, is a wonderful thing.

Level


*grins*
This is where understanding comes in... for me, listening is auditory and reading is visual or touch. Both are tools that can lead to communication and communication occurrs when you understand and are understood. My technical writing teacher used to tell me that what you write is useless unless your audience understands what you meant. I use that advice whenever I wish to communicate.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/9/2006 6:02:28 PM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

OK rant time....

Through out the forum... We see how SOME Doms think that slaves have no rights. And in another post, they talk of honesty, communication, relating to one another. And then in yet another post, they state a slave can have feelings, thoughts, opinions, but that doesn't mean that said Dom has to pay attention to them. WTF??????



Speaking from my own experiences within different relationships:
1. A slave who chooses to serve me has the rights I allow her. She understands that I may grant her additional rights or take certain freedoms away whenever I choose to. We both understand that she always maintains the right to walk away at any time, just as I maintain the right to send her packing.

2. Honesty, open communication and being able to relate to one another is extremely important in my relationship. If I want to take on another slave, I will discuss it with my slave. I don't have to...I don't ask for my slave's blessing or permission... but I love my slave and really have no desire to watch her have a heart attack when I bring home some strange woman whom she has never met or heard about before.

My slave and I are both human and as such...we both make mistakes. We are honest with each other about strengths, weaknesses, accomplishments and failures. If she asks me a question, I will give her an honest answer. If I ask her a question, I know I will receive the same honesty. If I have a "snack" I tell her about it...as a courtesy. No secret-squirreledness will do. (Except for Christmas... then we're both sneaky little bastards..and if she asks me what she's getting for Christmas, I'll lie my ass off.)

3. Paying attention. Well...if you are talking about using active listening skills to be able to accurately comprehend the conversation...by all means, I agree. I do my best to listen to what my slave has to tell me.

If you are talking about changing my course of action because it is what my slave would want...well then...no. That's not paying attention...that, to me, is being spineless. Sure, I may devise some sort of compromise so that both of our needs and wants are being met...but that's my decision to make. There might be fallout in the form of a somewhat withdrawn slave for a little while, but I'm okay with that. She knows that if she no longer wanted to serve under my tyrannical rule...she can walk away. (But to be honest... I kinda think she enjoys it.)

I have been in relationships where I had been accused of not listening. The truth of the matter was that I did listen... I heard what had to be said... and made a decision. The accusations usually erupted when I didn't make a decision that was in accordance with the slave's wishes.

~Thorns



_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/9/2006 6:43:22 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

As far as not seeing what I'm seeing... that's because you're not looking nor taking notice to it. It's easy to turn a blind eye to something you feel has no intrest to you.


After this, I am backing away because I know this is going to piss you off huge. I read your original question, and all your replies to all the posters who attempted to answer. No offense, but from what I saw, YOU ignored their attempt to answer a question that you posted, and instead took every answer and turned it every which way you could to support your own ideas. Try reading back through some of the answers here, your question was answere more than once.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/9/2006 9:51:03 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

As far as not seeing what I'm seeing... that's because you're not looking nor taking notice to it. It's easy to turn a blind eye to something you feel has no intrest to you.


After this, I am backing away because I know this is going to piss you off huge. I read your original question, and all your replies to all the posters who attempted to answer. No offense, but from what I saw, YOU ignored their attempt to answer a question that you posted, and instead took every answer and turned it every which way you could to support your own ideas. Try reading back through some of the answers here, your question was answere more than once.



Thanks Irish.. didn't piss me off.. it was just seen differently. But it's all good. I got the answer I was seeking. I didn't ignore the responses. I seen them, I read them, I thought them out before I responded back. The main thing was about Doms that say one thing, but then say something different. Before I knew it thread took a turn, and I turned with it instead of staying on track too. The main topic was suppose to be about communication. Not trust, or obediance. But communication.

But like I said, I got my answer.... thanks Irish.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/10/2006 9:28:26 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He enters, keeps His hat on and smiles directly at Truesub


"A long, heavy read and I admire you for your tenacity to question, defend, and reflectively admit that it is difficult to see the forest for the tress, to turn off the 'filtering'head on our shoulders. Smile well in your journey Truesub! You do have extremely admirable truesub qualities!"

A very respectful bow to Truesub (and to others)

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/10/2006 12:34:44 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Driver1961

He enters, keeps His hat on and smiles directly at Truesub


"A long, heavy read and I admire you for your tenacity to question, defend, and reflectively admit that it is difficult to see the forest for the tress, to turn off the 'filtering'head on our shoulders. Smile well in your journey Truesub! You do have extremely admirable truesub qualities!"

A very respectful bow to Truesub (and to others)


Thank you Driver Sir... your kindness is too much, but greatly received and appreciated.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Driver1961)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/10/2006 2:55:29 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond
As a submissive i would have a great deal of trouble having a Dom that i felt i could not be honest with, even if your relationship is one where the sub/slave has *no* rights I think there surely has to be some sort of out time, time where things can be discussed and opinions heard, as a sub i need to be able to trust my Dom 100%, I need to know they will listen to me and do what best for me, I couldn't handle thinking that sometimes they would and sometimes they would not as if on a whim, it needs to be clearly defined for me where the bounderys lie. Just mho.


I don't see that effect as needing any "Out time" in the slightest. But then I want and expect openess from a girl about her thoughts, opinions and emotions, not just openess of her body.

Some of that comes in day to day communication but I have had situations where a girl has had problems expressing a need or raising a discussion and usualy put a protocol in place that gives her 'permission' to approach me in a set manner in order to do so. Waiting till we are alone, not in the middle of another activity and placing herself kneeling in position at my feet waiting for my attention. She knows she always has premission to do this and I know she wants to start some discussion or request/beg something.

This has worked well in the past and doesn't need any "Out time".... IMO "out time" isn't a good thing.... at least from my perspective and nor is it needed. She doesn't stop being my girl just because she has a need!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/12/2006 10:25:40 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

Through out the forum... We see how SOME Doms think that slaves have no rights. And in another post, they talk of honesty, communication, relating to one another. And then in yet another post, they state a slave can have feelings, thoughts, opinions, but that doesn't mean that said Dom has to pay attention to them. WTF??????


I don't see any of these as mutually exclusive.

quote:

How can a submisive/slave... have trust and faith... with a flip flop Dom? How can a sub/slave believe in communication... if it's going to be ignored? How can a sub/slave express feelings, if it's going to be ignored??

Doms/Dommes... how can you expect your sub/slave to communicate their feelings, thoughts, ideas, if you see yourselfs within your right to totaly ignore them when they try?


The job of a slave in this type of situation (note that I'm not saying all d/s, because there *are* different types) is to be transparent, and to have few to no expectations on how the transparency will be handled. It's my job to tell Sir everything that is going on with me - to enable him to make the best decisions for me, him, and the relationship. This places no expectations on *how* he'll decide, react to, treat the information I give him.

I see no contradiction in this.

quote:

Where does the communication actually come in at? Where does the sharing actually come in at? For that matter, where does the caring for what you own actually come into all this?


Again - I see no inherent problem or contradiction.


(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/12/2006 10:28:30 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		OH NO!!!!!!>>>>>>> OWNED... Angelic...... quick... apples... this horse is being dug up again...... lmao

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/12/2006 10:30:59 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Hell with the apples!!!! *grabs a shovel and buries the horse right where he lies* (LOL i thought about hitting the damn thing over the head with the shovel and decided that wouldn't be pc.)

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/12/2006 10:34:08 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		~ chomps on my apple....you rang?

True, it's no secret that you & i see things differently on some things. i've shared my views on this subject...and hopefully seeing various opinions reflecting different viewpoints have been enlightening and have helped you sort your concerns on this subject.

~ waits for animal control to arrive ~

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/12/2006 10:38:25 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

~ waits for animal control to arrive ~


*tosses the shovel at true... she did it, she did it*

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/12/2006 10:40:33 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		LMAO.. Angelic.. you sadist!!!

Owned.. apples are good for you.. but will give you the sheeets... lmao

Damn... we're all gonna be damned.. by Animal Control.. over a damn Horse... lmao

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/12/2006 10:52:15 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prunesquallor


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

had she said "hey cool... i'm getting another man" too!!! ?


Your question wasn't directed at me, but in such a situation I would wonder who was the Dom in the relationship.



The reference was made to a "free companion", not a slave.

(in reply to Prunesquallor)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: GRRRRRR Flip Flops - 3/12/2006 12:10:53 PM   
Prunesquallor


Posts: 181
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline 		I see you suffer from the same failing as me - answering a posting before reading the rest of the thread. :) Yes, I misunderstood.

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 100
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