RE: Why don't male subs go to munches?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Why don't male subs go to munches?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Why don't male subs go to munches?

Page: << < prev 6 7 8 9 [10]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Why don't male subs go to munches? - 3/18/2007 5:08:52 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

You decide how an entire group of people are going
to behave without having met any of them in real life.

Well, just read what other male subs say on this thread that have gone. OK, perhaps you are right that I'm judging munches unfairly since I haven't been to one. I would say that if most the women are like the ones at collarme I would probably not be welcome. Do you disagree?

Actually yes, I'll agree that married men seeking extramarital affairs behind the wife's back aren't typically welcome to munches by the lifestyle Dommes that attend. You see, women interested in kink are BOMBARDED on a daily basis by men in this situation. It gets really really old, really really fast.   Unfortunately, many of these men do not take a "no thank you" to their advances politely which adds to them having the reputation of being annoyances.

Unfortunately, many of these men behave as if the women are the ones with the issue (uptight, not real dommes, not open minded) because we're not interested in such a situation where we already know the person in question is a liar and a cheat, that we don't think that being a piece on the side is appealing, that we feel we deserve MORE out of a relationship that a married man has to offer. Rather than accept a polite "no thank you", these men turn around and insult women, are derogative towards women, follow women around who've said no pestering them to change their minds, etc.

There are a few lifestyle Dommes that for whatever reason are ok with having married men serve them - but you have to understand that the competition for such a position amongst the married men is absolutely HUGE because there are so many married men in that position. So your problem becomes twofold - finding a Domme who is actually willing to put up with such a situation, then being the head of the pack of all the other married men who want that position. You really will need to be able to offer something overwhelmingly marvelous to get such a position.

There's a reason why business is booming for good prodommes.

One of the main issues that I'm seeing here is a fundamental lack of understanding of Dommes. If "being submissive" means that person is here for our pleasure, "to submit" to our will, then why are we the villains/fake/close minded because we have realistic standards that we want those that serve us to meet?   Meet the standards or move along; don't expect us to change them to accomodate you because you have these desires and fantasies you think we're somehow obligated to meet.

I think you have to figure out what wonderful qualities and companionship that YOU have to offer that might attract such a person and find a way to display that, rather than getting snarky and deciding it's somehow someone else's fault and issue because they're not interested in you.   This bitterness towards women and Dommes that you display quite regularly on the boards is only going to separate you from any chances of finding what you actually want.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 3/18/2007 5:41:03 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to azjojoba)

Profile

Post #: 181

RE: Why don't male subs go to munches? - 3/18/2007 7:34:45 AM

SweetAndInnocent

Posts: 59
Joined: 4/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

Wrong. Anyone who comes to a munch and is looking for partners without informing
their spouse would get the same treatment. It goes back to lack of consent.

Not if she was a hot looking 20 something. You know as well as I do that all the male members would want her, and probably all the gay women.

Let's get realistic.

As hard as this seems to be for you to understand, your lack of attractiveness is not the problem. A hot 20 something would still feel the same shunning, because this is a lifestyle based on honesty and trust. You have none of either to offer.

(in reply to azjojoba)

Profile

Post #: 182

RE: Why don't male subs go to munches? - 3/18/2007 8:55:42 AM

geekyboy

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Northern Ohio
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tohottohandle21

what are munches

Delicious bits of food!

Or hyper-social meeting plots in which various pervs and pervettes can meet and greet eachother in the most tasteful of manners. Often with kung-fu grip.

As for my take on the whole "Munches: Where's da beef?!" I think it primarily stems from two things:

1. The rather psychosomatic over-burden of being a male submissive in this realm of the Internet. That is to say, online being both male and submissive is often a battle where you are barraged with often the only people interested in you as being Financial Dommes. From so many of my sub friends perpectives, being a submissive and not female is a losing game where so few are even remotely interested. Moreover, they have it in their minds that the seemingly over-arching bisexual nature of their online transgressions are testament to reality. They see online that only female submissives seem to get anywhere at least in the majority of the chatrooms. So they think going there would be the same thing, and that he would probably be ignored.

2. They don't want to go alone. *Sniffle* It's so sad, to be lonely. Compounded with the above, it really settles in just a strange environment.

People want instant gratification. They want recognition and an active time-line to follow that is indicating progress. It seems there is some manner of hyper-stigma against male slaves online. And online being their primary venture into BDSM, it's a fair estimate to say they have little factors pointing towards "munching" as being the least bit progressive.

I know, that's vapid, but, hey, people aren't here for the pie.

Well, I am. I love pie.

_____________________________

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God, who has endowed us with sense and reason, has intended us to forgo their use." -- G.G.

(in reply to tohottohandle21)

Profile

Post #: 183

RE: Why don't male subs go to munches? - 3/18/2007 11:35:38 AM

sub4hire