Whiplashsmile4
Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
It's nice to know there are men here with enough testosterone that they feel the need to interject their own personal appraisals of the specifics actions others are engaging in (if they were in said shoes) as if it's even remotely relevant.
Even better when the geniuses are so personally biased on the topic that they cannot differentiate between the selective instance of it based on an individual's experience (in this case, the OP's partner) from misunderstandings of general iffy chronological linear correlations and studies on a topic that are often rife with ideological tweaking.
This is a fundamental truth that people subject both themselves and their partners to when exposing relationship woes in message board posts. Mind you, I've noticed similar patterns in both sexes and not just male driven testosterone.
I do believe when somebody is seeking possible insight, even these interjected appraisals hold value in the measuring of possibilities. What matters the most, is that one rare gem of a post by another that hits the nail on the head with true depth. The definitive moment when the original poster reads perhaps one sentence out of the deluge of ideological responses and it connects.
Linear correlations generally appare to be more often the norm compared to associative ones, People tend to try to put other peoples situations in their own shoes, verses exploring the situation from the other persons shoes. As the expression goes Ask Questions first before shooting. Still the experience of being shot at is worth it's own value for the poster.
How to express this, even if it's wrong, it's right. Fragility is a bit of an issue always in a delicate situation, then again it also does not make sense to live in a glass house in places known to be hit by hurricanes.
There will always be devils and angels on two sides of a shoulder, both speaking thier own thoughts into the ears of somebody who is desparate for the answers, or the truth.
The truth of the matter is such, that only the poster and his girl have the power to straighten out their issues together. The OP is faced with looking at what perhaps he's done or not done to contribute to the issues. The same can be said with regards to his girl. They both need to communicate things with one another, and figure out the true answer together. However, this is a little hard to achieve when Emotional Disconnection is used. Shutting off communication while it might punish one, it does little to address the root cause of the original problems.
As somebody pointed out, in regards to text messages, there are times when they don't get delivered for a few hours or until the next day. I know this first hand to be true. The world is not a perfect place. There is a scene in the Breakfast Club movie, about screws falling out of perfectly good doors every day. This scene in many ways speaks volumes in regards to how much somebody can or can not control things. Let alone be able to see things with greater understanding. Screws falling out of doors was a bit of a metaphor to describe how perfectly good people fall out of the doors of society. Personally, you can either bitch about the screws falling out of the door, and bitch about loosing control.. or you can attempt to fix things.
Clearly, in regards to the late delivery, or the deliverly of the text message at 2PM was a screw falling out of the door. However, it's clear that there was a lack of deeper understanding as to reasons why. It would be unfair to punish somebody who sent a text message early in the morning as expected, just because it arrived late. The submissive has no control over the phone company SMS service and neither does the DOM. The Key point here to express, is this. He did recieve a text message from her. This speaks far more when compared to no text message. It was 4-6 hours late? It's not like this caused him to miss a Doctors Appointment or Air flight.
Ironic, the very thing stressed the injection of personal appraisals, and personal experiences and idealogical thinking... the original poster appears to be guilty to a certain degree.
In regards to her becoming an escort, she expressed she had never done it before. While this notion appears to been sexually stimulating for both of them. The OP should have been aware of the possiblility in her backing out from it, while he was in the process of putting all the Hard Work into things. Then again, some people would not think what he did was really all that hard work, and that perhaps the OP should do Masonary work for a week for a deeper appreciation of what actual hard work is. I can be debated, that perhaps it was not his Hard Work that was wasted, but rather that his intense desire for fantasy becoming a reality which was wasted. All of this can become rather subjective based upon people's own experiences, thoughts and opinions.
All of what I have expressed, thus far, does not include much in regards to his partner. Clearly she had a method to her actions. One simply does not delete somebody off from their profile without some cause, be it logical or emotional in nature. The OP did present some information in a linear sequence of event. Action equals reaction kind of stuff.
I'm certain, that much can be expressed by a number of people with various points of views and opinions with regards to the OP's postings. Again, a sort of reaction to an action effect.
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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 
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