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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 8:39:55 PM   
lucylucy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyOtherProfile2

It IS a lame excuse and I told her so. I told her it will not be tolerated in the future and that if she ever needs another emotional retreat it will be by request and must be supported with a reason as well as parameters. Obviously I would always allow her her private time as long as I know why she needs it and how long.



I think this sounds like a good compromise--she can take the "emotional retreat," but only with your permission. She may be using the "emotional retreat" as an excuse to not engage with things she is uncomfortable with (which goes along with the "intense emotional fragility" you mentioned). She might use the "emotional retreat" as an escape. Personally, I'm of the mind that if you really, truly need an escape from your relationship, something ain't right in the relationship. Alone time is one thing; escape is quite another.

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(in reply to MyOtherProfile2)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/22/2010 8:57:50 PM   
mc1234


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Joined: 10/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyOtherProfile2

I have to say I do worry that scaling back the sexuality of our relationship to make room for intellectual and emotional connection may lessen the primal attraction we have for each other. Any thoughts on this?


Primal attraction rocks. I don't see the need to scale back on the sexuality of your relationship while building the emotional and intellectual. Pillow talk can be great for building intimacy. The more into me he is, in a complete way, not just sexually, the easier it is to put myself in his hands. Spend time chatting on the phone late into the night. IM or email her throughout the day and ask silly little questions or share a random hot thought. Stay in her thoughts. Intrigue her, draw her in. Listen to her and show your interest beyond her kinks.

When I first began talking with my dom, he always steered the conversation away from the usual talk about kinky lists or sexual desires and got to know me and showed me himself. It was so different from the usual 'let's compare BDSM lists' it left me wanting much more of him and feeling appreciated and enjoyed and genuinely enjoying and getting to know him, not him as a dom. I don't know if my experience is applicable to your relationship, but it worked for us.

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RE: I would love some serious insight on my limbo - 1/23/2010 10:27:44 AM   
Prinsexx


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A good man costs way more than a paddle.

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