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RE: Humiliation by name calling - 1/31/2010 8:40:39 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomPhilosopher

First proper post here, so bear with me ;)

I've always found humiliation an easy thing to understand (does that sound smart-arse already? lol) If you think of the emotions as something that can be hurt and bruised just like your flesh, then maybe it's easier to think about. It's easy for us kinkophiles to accept that there will be scars and welts from whipping, piercing and such. Some enjoy that greatly.


A smart-arse Dom? Really? ;-)

Great first post and I really agree with the part that I coloured.

On another note, I appreciate that the OP started a thread to understand something. However, it might come across more genuinely if the OP wasn't laced with judgement.

- LA




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RE: Humiliation by name calling - 1/31/2010 7:53:56 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

How true. I would rather be grabbed by hair, dragged into the room, thrown down, clothes ripped off, slapped in the face and called a filthy, cock loving whore, before having my brains fucked out six ways from Sunday than have someone say, hi sweetie pie, what would you like to do today.

I am weird that way.


A-Lovely quote. Damn.
B-Lots of women, vanilla and kink alike, want exactly that, but hate to admit it aloud. Making her utter it, get in touch with their deepest cravings, admit it aloud while wanting to crawl into a hole, can be a form of exquisitely delectable torment-just tearing through her walls, her need forcing her to degrade herself by admitting it. The power to do that is an incredible turn-on.

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RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 7:25:00 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Is marmite anything like veggiemite?



personally i think veggiemite is foul - but i love marmite.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 7:31:04 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomPhilosopher

First proper post here, so bear with me ;)

]it's exactly like Marmite


no it isnt marmite is much nicer. ozzies prefer veggiemite and they can keep it!

< Message edited by lally2 -- 2/1/2010 7:33:47 AM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 7:48:01 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I believe in humiliation.

I do NOT believe in vegetable spreads.


Jeff

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 8:30:11 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I believe in humiliation.

I do NOT believe in vegetable spreads.


Are you denying their existence? Or just the sanity of people who choose to consume them?

I'm also pretty sure that marmite doesn't qualify as a vegetable spread, though...


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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 12:06:14 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

For those of you who are into humiliation by the way of being called horrible names and being put down by your partner, may i ask why and how that is a turn on?

i have looked at it from all sides that i know of and i come up empty. So, if someone would like to share with me how they feel i would appreciate it.

In the past my Owner has said things like "Come here you little slut." but, it's in a playful sexy manner. If he were to call me fat, ugly, stupid or anything in that vein i would be so wounded that  i don't think i would never be the same again. thanks.
I'll answer this in the same manner that I have before. 

There is a difference between degradation and humiliation.  Humiliation, in the context of D/s and BDSM, is the use of techniques---verbal, physical, mental, emotional---that creates a sense of both embarassment and sexual turn-on within the receiver of the humiliation and create a sense of being humbled by the dominant.  It lifts the submissive up and makes her feel positive about her sexual nature and who/what she is to her dominant in a sexual, physical manner.  Degradation, in the context of D/s and BDSM, is the use of techniques---verbal, phyical, mental, emotional---that creates a sense of shame and a turn-off, not just sexually but in all ways, to the one trying to create that sense of shame.  It does not lift a submissive up, it puts them down.  Instead of making them feel like they are valuable to their dominant, they feel that they are worthless.

Now then, if you look at it that way, you will know that perhaps your dominant was not just being playful, he was speaking to one facet of your true nature...a facet that appealed to him, as it does to many dominants.  That line between humiliation and degradation has to be found by each person.  Why the person instead of the couple?  Because the action of one dominant calling you a slut or making you pull your skirt up to reveal your bare ass to strangers may...because of who and what he is and how he treats you at other times...make you extremely turned on while being completely humbled and embarassed.  Another dominant telling you to do so...because of who and what he is and acts towards you at other times...may only piss you off and shame you by doing so, make you feel defiant and rebellious.

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 12:11:23 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I believe in humiliation.

I do NOT believe in vegetable spreads.


Are you denying their existence? Or just the sanity of people who choose to consume them?

I'm also pretty sure that marmite doesn't qualify as a vegetable spread, though...



True, it is a paste made from beef extract and god knows what else.
 
C'mon Jeffff, anteaters and food products? You should be acing this.
 
 
 
 
Dr Do Large.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 12:13:54 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

For those of you who are into humiliation by the way of being called horrible names and being put down by your partner, may i ask why and how that is a turn on?

i have looked at it from all sides that i know of and i come up empty. So, if someone would like to share with me how they feel i would appreciate it.

In the past my Owner has said things like "Come here you little slut." but, it's in a playful sexy manner. If he were to call me fat, ugly, stupid or anything in that vein i would be so wounded that  i don't think i would never be the same again. thanks.
I'll answer this in the same manner that I have before. 

There is a difference between degradation and humiliation.  Humiliation, in the context of D/s and BDSM, is the use of techniques---verbal, physical, mental, emotional---that creates a sense of both embarassment and sexual turn-on within the receiver of the humiliation and create a sense of being humbled by the dominant.  It lifts the submissive up and makes her feel positive about her sexual nature and who/what she is to her dominant in a sexual, physical manner.  Degradation, in the context of D/s and BDSM, is the use of techniques---verbal, phyical, mental, emotional---that creates a sense of shame and a turn-off, not just sexually but in all ways, to the one trying to create that sense of shame.  It does not lift a submissive up, it puts them down.  Instead of making them feel like they are valuable to their dominant, they feel that they are worthless.

Now then, if you look at it that way, you will know that perhaps your dominant was not just being playful, he was speaking to one facet of your true nature...a facet that appealed to him, as it does to many dominants.  That line between humiliation and degradation has to be found by each person.  Why the person instead of the couple?  Because the action of one dominant calling you a slut or making you pull your skirt up to reveal your bare ass to strangers may...because of who and what he is and how he treats you at other times...make you extremely turned on while being completely humbled and embarassed.  Another dominant telling you to do so...because of who and what he is and acts towards you at other times...may only piss you off and shame you by doing so, make you feel defiant and rebellious.


That should take care of the question, permanently.

Swoons.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 12:17:52 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

True, it is a paste made from beef extract and god knows what else.



Ummm-I don't know if this is a cross-cultural thing or what, but in England marmite is basically the stuff left over at the bottom of the barrels when you've finished brewing beer-it's yeast-based and vegetarian-no beef here...


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Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 12:22:46 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

True, it is a paste made from beef extract and god knows what else.



Ummm-I don't know if this is a cross-cultural thing or what, but in England marmite is basically the stuff left over at the bottom of the barrels when you've finished brewing beer-it's yeast-based and vegetarian-no beef here...



Ugg, No doubt right.

I just recall having vegemite and being told that. I've never had marmite. I hear there is a difference.

I am in neither school.      I would have preferred the original contents of the barrel.  l.

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RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 12:31:28 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		But then your toast would be all soggy in the morning! 

I'm a student, and not even I can cope with the idea of beer on toast...:-P


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RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 12:35:12 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

But then your toast would be all soggy in the morning! 



Something has to be limp in the morning.
 
Usually I wake up and start knocking over lamps before I get my bearings and caffeine fix.

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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 12:36:52 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Well lucky you, but I don't see how pouring beer on your toast is gonna help 

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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 12:47:57 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Well lucky you, but I don't see how pouring beer on your toast is gonna help 


Stop humiliating my toast. It did not agree to be made soggy.
 
You English should be concentrating on your own muffins.
 
 
Hungry now.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 12:55:25 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

Stop humiliating my toast. It did not agree to be made soggy.


Please give your toast my sincerest apology for nonconsensually involving it in this scene. I was wrong and out of control and I see that now. I will endeavour to be more considerate of its feelings in future.

quote:

You English should be concentrating on your own muffins.


You don't get English muffins in England-the only people who ever talk about them seem to be on your side of the pond. I'm not entirely sure what they are.

Someone told me they were like crumpets, but if that someone was the same sort of someone as the someone who told you marmite had cow in it I may be incorrect...


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RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 1:31:55 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I believe in humiliation.

I do NOT believe in vegetable spreads.


Are you denying their existence? Or just the sanity of people who choose to consume them?

I'm also pretty sure that marmite doesn't qualify as a vegetable spread, though...



marmite is made up of yeast extract and vegetable extract - ive just checked my supplies - and if youve never had marmite soldiers you havent lived!

i dont seriously believe that the OP was making a heavy judgement on verbal humiliation, i just think she witnessed something that seemed very unhealthy - we should maybe respect that she witnessed it, we didnt and if she felt it was cruel then it possibly was.

i dont believe its beyond the realms of possiblity that a D enjoys berrating his sub while the sub struggles to submit to it. i think that might put a slightly different slant on that level of humiliation.

but for those who mutually enjoy this, it seems they themselves are largely unable to explain it.

personally i find being bent over someones knee incredibly humiliating! - cant explain why its part of my psyche to submit to it - no matter how hard i try i cant explain that away at all. the internal struggle of humiliation versus submission makes it ok where submission to verbal humiliation is a total no-go area for me. im guessing its the same machinery at work though.



_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 1:37:16 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

i dont seriously believe that the OP was making a heavy judgement on verbal humiliation, i just think she witnessed something that seemed very unhealthy - we should maybe respect that she witnessed it, we didnt and if she felt it was cruel then it possibly was.


What she said was:

quote:

It's not the turn on most people are made to believe it is. It's just a way to feel.


She wasn't talking about the specific situation she mentioned earlier, she was talking in general terms in response to another poster who was also talking in general terms. That statement is what I personally have a problem with-it is neither her place nor mine to say what is and is not a turn-on for anyone other than ourselves.



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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 1:48:57 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

i dont seriously believe that the OP was making a heavy judgement on verbal humiliation, i just think she witnessed something that seemed very unhealthy - we should maybe respect that she witnessed it, we didnt and if she felt it was cruel then it possibly was.


What she said was:

quote:

It's not the turn on most people are made to believe it is. It's just a way to feel.


She wasn't talking about the specific situation she mentioned earlier, she was talking in general terms in response to another poster who was also talking in general terms. That statement is what I personally have a problem with-it is neither her place nor mine to say what is and is not a turn-on for anyone other than ourselves.





yes, i agree thats not very PC - definitely dodgy to tell other people how something works for them, when you have no clue on the topic.



_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Humiliation by name calling - 2/1/2010 2:20:52 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

True, it is a paste made from beef extract and god knows what else.



Ummm-I don't know if this is a cross-cultural thing or what, but in England marmite is basically the stuff left over at the bottom of the barrels when you've finished brewing beer-it's yeast-based and vegetarian-no beef here...



Mhhmmm, otherwise it'd be called Bovril, which is made from beef stock and yeast extract. Bovril is a bit milder....... which is why I made my babies suck on marmite soldiers from 6 months old. Toughens up the old upper lip after the swelling goes down.

agirl



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Profile   Post #: 80
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