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can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 2:19:51 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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if a Dominant can feel that theyre sub or slave belongs to them, can a slave or sub feel that her Dominant belongs to her.

personally i would never say that my Dominant belongs to me. i have never actually been someone who believes a man belongs to me. hell, i dont even feel that i own my animals, though i am responsible for them.

is it a sub thing to feel they 'belong' to someone and is it a Dominant thing to 'own' someone and never to trespass across those delineations. if so why not. would it interfere with the psychology of owned and owner, would it change the dynamic.

i would never want to 'own' my Dominant in the sense of 'he's mine and noone else can have him' and yet, in a way, if youre not poly, that is, kinda how it is. i would never say 'my Dominant belongs to me, his life is mine' and yet in an odd way, entering into a relationship with someone you are kinda hoping that he'll stick around and be truely youres forever.

it was just one of my random thoughts today.

right now my feeling is no. i cant and do not want to own any living thing, i see each living thing as a free spirit, designed to follow their own path, best they can.

what does ownership even feel like

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Post #: 1

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 3:22:39 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I don't own him. He's not my slave. He doesn't belong to me. He's not my property. I can only hope that he cares enough for me to want to be a part of my life and wants to be with me.

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 2

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 3:28:39 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

Yes, you can own a dominant. Get a cat

.

I don't think it's possible, at least it isn't for me. One can own a piece of my heart, but the rest of me and the rest of my heart belongs to me. Okay, taken out of context that kinda sounds really creepy...I didn't mean for the whole Hannibal Lector spin on this...lol.

Edited for capitalization fix.

< Message edited by Domin8tingUrDrmz -- 2/5/2010 3:29:35 PM >

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Post #: 3

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 3:32:38 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

if a Dominant can feel that theyre sub or slave belongs to them, can a slave or sub feel that her Dominant belongs to her.

Not to get caught up in semantics, belonging is very different than owning. When I've been in great D/s dynamics, I felt we belonged together. My heart did belong to him, there is no doubt.

Ownership is a whole other story, and I'll probably ruffle some feathers because though I feel it is a very romantic notion to think that we can own someone, we never really do, no matter what side of the kneel we are.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Post #: 4

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 3:44:22 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

I know this is a controversial opinion here, but I don't believe anybody can own anybody.

PS: just saw LadyA's post - les grands esprits pensent pareil

.

< Message edited by kittinSol -- 2/5/2010 3:45:28 PM >

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Post #: 5

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 4:06:14 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

if a Dominant can feel that theyre sub or slave belongs to them, can a slave or sub feel that her Dominant belongs to her.

Not to get caught up in semantics, belonging is very different than owning. When I've been in great D/s dynamics, I felt we belonged together. My heart did belong to him, there is no doubt.

- LA

I think you said it quite well.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 6

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 4:31:08 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

if a Dominant can feel that theyre sub or slave belongs to them, can a slave or sub feel that her Dominant belongs to her.

personally i would never say that my Dominant belongs to me. i have never actually been someone who believes a man belongs to me. hell, i dont even feel that i own my animals, though i am responsible for them.

is it a sub thing to feel they 'belong' to someone and is it a Dominant thing to 'own' someone and never to trespass across those delineations. if so why not. would it interfere with the psychology of owned and owner, would it change the dynamic.

i would never want to 'own' my Dominant in the sense of 'he's mine and noone else can have him' and yet, in a way, if youre not poly, that is, kinda how it is. i would never say 'my Dominant belongs to me, his life is mine' and yet in an odd way, entering into a relationship with someone you are kinda hoping that he'll stick around and be truely youres forever.

it was just one of my random thoughts today.

right now my feeling is no. i cant and do not want to own any living thing, i see each living thing as a free spirit, designed to follow their own path, best they can.

what does ownership even feel like

i wouldn't even allow you to feel you own you, because you'd be my property and you'd know it

but then what do i know

< Message edited by osf -- 2/5/2010 4:32:26 PM >

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Post #: 7

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 5:03:38 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

There is no ownership, on either side of the kneel. Period. End of story.

So now that we've eliminated fantasy, let's talk about reality.

D/s relationships are just like vanilla relationships. There is a bond that is formed, and possessiveness is often a natural outgrowth of that bond . There may be mutual agreement to allow others to come between that bond (e.g. poly households, or cuckolding situations), but for the most part, that possessiveness tends to flow both ways. Why else do you think so many subs/slaves want to marry their Dom/Domme?

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 8

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 5:06:29 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

I do not own him, nor does he belong to me. He chooses to share his life with me, and that brings me happiness. He chooses to own only me, and I am glad for that. Together we are committed to the well being of this relationship and each other, and that works well for us.

But he owns me, I don't own him.

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(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 9

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 5:10:59 PM

sodsta

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

There is no ownership, on either side of the kneel. Period. End of story.

So now that we've eliminated fantasy, let's talk about reality.

D/s relationships are just like vanilla relationships. There is a bond that is formed, and possessiveness is often a natural outgrowth of that bond . There may be mutual agreement to allow others to come between that bond (e.g. poly households, or cuckolding situations), but for the most part, that possessiveness tends to flow both ways. Why else do you think so many subs/slaves want to marry their Dom/Domme?

This.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 10

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 5:12:47 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

There is no ownership, on either side of the kneel. Period. End of story.

So now that we've eliminated fantasy, let's talk about reality.

D/s relationships are just like vanilla relationships. There is a bond that is formed, and possessiveness is often a natural outgrowth of that bond . There may be mutual agreement to allow others to come between that bond (e.g. poly households, or cuckolding situations), but for the most part, that possessiveness tends to flow both ways. Why else do you think so many subs/slaves want to marry their Dom/Domme?

This.

Yup!! Smart cookies they are, that sodsta & that Rochsub2009 :-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to sodsta)

Post #: 11

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 6:38:45 PM

Reform

Posts: 151
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2
is it a sub thing to feel they 'belong' to someone and is it a Dominant thing to 'own' someone and never to trespass across those delineations. if so why not. would it interfere with the psychology of owned and owner, would it change the dynamic.

I switch with my boy, but the default position of our relationship is that I'm in charge. When he tops me, I am owned by him. That ownership isn't turned off when he's on the bottom again. For us, owner vs. owned is not really an issue; we own each other.

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 12

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 6:44:45 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

Yes, you can own a dominant. Get a cat .

The awesomeness

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 13

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 6:50:33 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Can you own your dominant?

If you love your dominant set him free...If he returns to you he is yours to keep.

most likely you will probably catch him bangin' your ma or your identical twin. Only cuz the man is so tired of your endless parade of meaningless querries.

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Post #: 14

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 6:52:03 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I gave this topic very deep thought. In searching for the answer, I looked inward carefully. After much mediation and introspection I am lead to the spiritual crux of the matter and it leaves me with one nagging question:

How much are you offering?

If your offer is substantial enough . . . you could own me.

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 15

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 7:22:10 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Step right up folks, get your Resident Sadist here.
The one, the only, the inimitable
Red hot.
Fresh off the presses
The hound of the mound
The sultan of suffering
The Emir of ecstasy
The grand poo-bah who'll treat you like vichyssoise
Step right up and make your offer now
You'll never regret it.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 16

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 7:24:00 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

*giggles*

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Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

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Post #: 17

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 7:26:37 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Ok, you might regret it
The purchase in question is a sadist after all

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Post #: 18

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 7:30:32 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

I was thinking something along the same lines...lol. Yours is probably much better than what I would have wrote.

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Post #: 19

RE: can you own a Dominant - 2/5/2010 7:31:28 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

There are many meanings associated to words, and there's this nasty little thing that's called Context. So yes, it's possible to own a Dom within certain context. We can own yet not own many things. Do we truely own anything at all? (subject of philosophical debate).

Is a Glass half empty or half full when 50% of it's volume contains water? However, if you were to think about this riddle in terms of Mass that occupies the glass..it's no longer a 50/50 issue. Is it really possible to achieve a 50/50 balance when things are compared/measured at the smallest levels?

My point is such; it all depends upon how you look at things. Such is Ownership. There are in fact some submissives that very much own the hearts of their Dominant partners.

< Message edited by Whiplashsmile4 -- 2/5/2010 7:35:27 PM >

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 20

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