Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

BDSM and abuse


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> BDSM and abuse Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
BDSM and abuse - 3/16/2010 11:50:20 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		I have been pondering this for a while now so i'd like to ask you here. It seems that everyone in the lifestyle that i've become good friends with has suffered from abuse in the past. I'm not exception. This got me thinking, is there a link between BDSM and abuse? Like are people who have suffered like this more likely to become more involved in the lifestyle? And i know the lifestyle isn't abusive at all, this was just something i was pondering. Please offer your opinions.

_____________________________

your living nightmare
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/16/2010 11:52:02 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		Not me,I am perfectly normal!

*Wanders off to throw darts at picture of mother.*


quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow

I have been pondering this for a while now so i'd like to ask you here. It seems that everyone in the lifestyle that i've become good friends with has suffered from abuse in the past. I'm not exception. This got me thinking, is there a link between BDSM and abuse? Like are people who have suffered like this more likely to become more involved in the lifestyle? And i know the lifestyle isn't abusive at all, this was just something i was pondering. Please offer your opinions.


_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/16/2010 11:55:38 PM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		so what's your opinion of my post, Smutmonger?

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/16/2010 11:56:15 PM   
BeMyProperty


Posts: 21
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_2952550/mpage_1/key_abused/tm.htm#2952550
http://www.collarchat.com/m_2769178/mpage_1/key_abused/tm.htm#2769178
http://www.collarchat.com/m_648816/mpage_1/key_abused/tm.htm#648816
http://www.collarchat.com/m_475351/mpage_1/key_abused/tm.htm#475351
http://www.collarchat.com/m_299233/mpage_1/key_abused/tm.htm#299233
and more

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/16/2010 11:56:39 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		nope, no abuse in my past. Ordinary loving family, lovely 'nilla boyfriends, lots of good, supportive friends.

But now I'm a submissive, possibly even slave, masochist.

Maybe I'm the exception that proves the rule

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/16/2010 11:57:58 PM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		I've seen broken birds and healthy people in this-why do you attract only losers?

< Message edited by Smutmonger -- 3/16/2010 11:58:21 PM >

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:01:36 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I've seen broken birds and healthy people in this-why do you attract only losers?


i wouldn't call someone who's suffered from abuse a loser. i've been there and i'm flawless =]

and i'll reiterate, this is just something i was wondering

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:03:26 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Maybe I'm the exception that proves the rule

Sorry to disappoint, Myo, but you aren't the only one


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:05:06 AM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		It's the people who spend the rest of thier lives being "professional victims" of it that are the losers dude.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow


quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

I've seen broken birds and healthy people in this-why do you attract only losers?


i wouldn't call someone who's suffered from abuse a loser. i've been there and i'm flawless =]

and i'll reiterate, this is just something i was wondering


_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:07:51 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

It's the people who spend the rest of thier lives being "professional victims" of it that are the losers dude.



if you say it like that then i agree with you. in my case i try not to let it affect who i am now. and personally the people that constantly play the victim kinda piss me off

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:09:44 AM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		The professional victim usually seeks to repeat the past-so they have a continued excuse to not deal with the issue-annoying the living shit out of everyone they meet along the way.


quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedshadow


quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

It's the people who spend the rest of thier lives being "professional victims" of it that are the losers dude.



if you say it like that then i agree with you. in my case i try not to let it affect who i am now. and personally the people that constantly play the victim kinda piss me off


< Message edited by Smutmonger -- 3/17/2010 12:10:06 AM >

_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:12:26 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

The professional victim usually seeks to repeat the past-so they have a continued excuse to not deal with the issue-annoying the living shit out of everyone they meet along the way.



precisely and that's why it kinda pisses me off lol

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to Smutmonger)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:13:35 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

I have been pondering this for a while now so i'd like to ask you here. It seems that everyone in the lifestyle that i've become good friends with has suffered from abuse in the past. I'm not exception. This got me thinking, is there a link between BDSM and abuse? Like are people who have suffered like this more likely to become more involved in the lifestyle? And i know the lifestyle isn't abusive at all, this was just something i was pondering. Please offer your opinions.


I don't know what you mean by abuse??? Do you imply childhood? or other?

If so, no, I was never even spanked as a child, nor punished, pretty well a spoiled brat (go figure lol) , marriage, well, to most he would be considered abusive but I see it as dominant. Always craved only the dominant, perhaps because I never had it from males around me... so, no, not all are abused although if you look for it, sometimes that is all you ever notice. But, I do notice a high number of former child abused (male and female) members., it is disturbing so I tend to avoid it (there are professionals in the real world for that). I personally don't want to have to deal with it., so if it bothers you, avoid it.

< Message edited by came4U -- 3/17/2010 12:15:45 AM >

_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:20:36 AM   
itsmeinLV


Posts: 207
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		Hm, speaking strictly about  myself, I wasn't abused, per se.  At the time I was growing up, corporal punishment wasn't a big thing, everybody I knew growing up at that time was punished almost the same way or another, and it wasn't considered "abuse" but I know that maybe, just maybe, that is why I like spankings so much?  Why the question mark?  Because I can't self-analyze myself 100% accurately, haha!    I'm sure I'm pretty subservient because of my family though.  Now that I am pretty sure about.  :p

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:23:51 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		came4u, i mean like any kind of abuse. physical, mental, childhood or adult. and istmeinLV, i don't see corporal punishment as abuse as long as it's done correctly. if someone does it to someone else because they're just in a bad mood or whatever and it's against their will then i'd consider that to be abuse. so like yeah

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to itsmeinLV)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:29:44 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Maybe I'm the exception that proves the rule

Sorry to disappoint, Myo, but you aren't the only one



you mean this place is full of...of....normal people????


EEEEEWWWW!!!!


_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:31:11 AM   
itsmeinLV


Posts: 207
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		So like yeah, nowadays though, a lot of people consider corporal punishment as abuse.  And I gotta admit, alot of times I was being "disciplined" now that I look back on it now, I don't think I was being disciplined for the right things, haha.  I totally agree with your statement, make no mistake about that.  

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:31:42 AM   
Smutmonger


Posts: 995
Joined: 2/17/2010
Status: offline 		I always thought normal was a setting on the washing machine-wrong again!
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

Maybe I'm the exception that proves the rule

Sorry to disappoint, Myo, but you aren't the only one



you mean this place is full of...of....normal people????


EEEEEWWWW!!!!



_____________________________

I didn't get into an alternative lifestyle to explore new frontiers in conformity.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 12:35:36 AM   
willowspirit


Posts: 164
Joined: 6/20/2005
From: U.S.A.-Minnesota
Status: offline 		It depends on whether you are talking about people who play at this bdsm - D/s stuff, or if you are talking about people who have solid dominant or submissive personalities.

I don't know about people who identify as true sadists or masochists, or Dominants, but from my birth-personality as a submissive female -- yes, I have been abused.

I liken it to a flock of sheep... I was the little oddball sheep, who never ran with the flock, circled out around the fringe as they ran, pondered everything which slowed me down, didn't act on typical "flock" instinct, overly patient and tolerent, eager to please, inherently trusting...

--- all traits that pedophiles, date-rapists, and other abusive people look for.

Finding out who I am and coming out in the lifestyle was the very best thing for me. Self-knowledge is power too.

[Edited to add to the list, and to ask about sadists and masochists]

< Message edited by willowspirit -- 3/17/2010 12:42:03 AM >

(in reply to fadedshadow)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: BDSM and abuse - 3/17/2010 2:05:06 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline 		I'm talking about people who's involved in the lifestyle as much as i am. And though this isn't related to the topic, finding out who i am and coming out in the lifestyle was great for me as well. i feel more whole

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to willowspirit)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> BDSM and abuse Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078