Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Dominant Accountability


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Dominant Accountability Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 8:06:55 PM   
SylkBelieves


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/9/2006
Status: offline 		When a sub or slave falls short of their Dom/Master's expectations it is generally expected that the sub/slave will be held accountable by that Dom/Master by one means or another.  Dominants and Masters are humans and subject to human shortcomings.  So, how are THEY held accountable?

Sylk_believes
When someone tells you who they are, believe them, the first time.  Maya Angelou
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 8:18:58 PM   
Kane


Posts: 19
Joined: 6/21/2004
From: Riverside, California
Status: offline 		He should hold himself accountable.

(in reply to SylkBelieves)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 8:22:23 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Those deserving of the title and all it entails would hold themselves accountable. 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to SylkBelieves)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 8:28:39 PM   
artglfr


Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		I am accountable to myself, any submissive I have responsibility for deserves and will receive My very best efforts to cherish her and keep her safe, protected and if I fail We will discuss it openly and honestly the same way I do when she fails...

_____________________________

Kink Forever
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Docents_of_Museum/

(in reply to SylkBelieves)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 8:31:07 PM   
NeedToUseYou


Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline 		Well, the sub could leave. I guess that would be punishment. 

(in reply to SylkBelieves)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 8:39:02 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Both IMO are accountable...But usually the Dominant will accept most of the accountability..however that is when communication becomes a necessity to overcome whatever obstacle seems to be occurring...be well..Tempting

(in reply to SylkBelieves)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 9:04:04 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Hold themselves accountable and have to face the consequences.

Say I set a rule for a partner to have a bedtime every night.  If I don't enforce the rule (not that he would purposefully test me, I don't play that) then:
a) he doesn't get a good nights sleep
b) he loses some measure of faith and security in the discipline I set
c) I have to re-evaluate my processes and put even more effort towards changing behavior AND make more time to reinforce the trust and stability

Anyone who says the dom has the easy end because they just get to make orders and hand out punishments is dealing with a dom who isn't really taking themselves seriously.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SylkBelieves)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 9:06:58 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

So, how are THEY held accountable?




I agree with what the others here have posted, but further, I'd love to see how that accountability manifests. I mean, do Masters have a stern talking to with themselves? Do they bounce things off their slaves? What are the consequences for actions?

Inquiring minds want to know... ok, ok.. 'my' inquiring mind wants to know. ::chuckles::

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to SylkBelieves)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 9:11:16 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
do Masters have a stern talking to with themselves?

Stern talking to, obsessive discussions with myself and sleepless nights re-evaluating the progress and long term vision of where I want to go and where the relationship is turning...to-may-to, to-mah-to.

quote:

Do they bounce things off their slaves?

Lots of discussions.  "What's your perspective?  How do you feel?  Are you understanding my perspective?  How do you think things will go next time?" and so on and so forth.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 9:24:01 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline
quote:


Original Quote: Sylkbelieves
Dominants and Masters are humans and subject to human shortcomings. 


Next thing you are gonna be telling me is, the easter bunny isnt real

Seriously though, I can only speak from my relationship with Master, when he screws up he generally talks to me about it....and I think he does a lot of self-evaluation.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 9:28:57 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

So, how are THEY held accountable?
 

Do they bounce things off their slaves?
Celeste


Only if the slave is a masochist.........

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 10:51:26 PM   
NaturalSelection


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/1/2006
Status: offline 		New to the forums but would love to chime in here...

Personal accountability is a high priority with me. I think any Dominant not willing to admit a mistake probably has insecurity issues... Most great leaders in history have been able to recognize mistakes, learn from them, and become better leaders... Obviously this doesn't apply to our current president in any way, shape, or form...

_____________________________

"First, you must purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka"

-Prince, in a rare moment of levity in a really bad movie

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/4/2006 11:52:18 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		Accountability is a system in which a person is required or expected to justify his or her actions or decisions. Though I may often be kind enough to do so, it is clearly understood that I need not justify or explain my actions or decisions to my slaves. The suggestion of such an idea is absurd to me; they are not in a position to judge, and it is more than a little foolish to allow them to be. It is well enough that a Master be personally accountable to himself.

(in reply to SylkBelieves)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/5/2006 12:03:54 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I expect a lot from other people, I expect more from friends, I expect a LOT more from my girl but the person I expect most from is me and also the person I am hardest on for failing to meet those expectations is myself.

But it is no good just beating yourself up about something it might help stop you repeating that error again but you also have a responsibility to do what you can to correct whatever went wrong as a consequence of your failour.... where possible.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to SylkBelieves)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/5/2006 12:28:38 AM   
SoulfulSadism


Posts: 53
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline 		Sylk_believes: I would say that if you accept someone as your dom - *truly* accept - you are also trusting them to 'make up' for their own mistakes, whether visibly or silently.

If the dom is not self-aware or self-critical enough to know when he/she has made a mistake - I think it's perfectly ok to let them know in a subtle manner that YOU as a sub have been wronged.

However, finally - there's a difference in equality and similarity - and specially in BDSM world , justice is not necessarily composed of equality or/and similarity.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/5/2006 12:40:06 AM   
masochistecstacy


Posts: 41
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

quote:

So, how are THEY held accountable?
Do they bounce things off their slaves?
Only if the slave is a masochist.........


*EEPS and hides* Lol...

Mostly, I'd agree with what's already been said... if my Love were to make some error, I'd expect Him to correct it... Although being bratty to the point that He finally realizes something's up also works. *grins innocently*


_____________________________


(in reply to SoulfulSadism)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/5/2006 12:58:11 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masochistecstacy
Although being bratty to the point that He finally realizes something's up also works. *grins innocently*


It would work to get you in trouble!

If my girl is feeling hurt or upset by something I've done, then She explains in an appropriate manner what it is that she is feeling and why. Chances are that she has just misread the reasons behind an action and either getting her to think it through properly or explaing the action to her solves the problem and also builds trust in that she learns more of how I do things and what is ment. If however when I think through what has been said, if *I* find I have been at fault in part or in whole then *I* will look to rectify the situation.

Her just being bratty about it is likely to make the situation worse and make her feel worse because she WILL be called to task for acting up!


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to masochistecstacy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/5/2006 1:08:42 AM   
johnxinxscruz


Posts: 53
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
obsessive discussions with myself and sleepless nights re-evaluating the progress and long term vision of where I want to go and where the relationship is turning.


"Heavy is the head that wears the crown"

< Message edited by johnxinxscruz -- 4/5/2006 1:13:19 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/5/2006 1:13:46 AM   
masochistecstacy


Posts: 41
Joined: 2/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It would work to get you in trouble!

*chuckles* Isn't that the point sometimes? *kidding*

The latter part truely was merely spoken in jest... Even thought I didn't actually speak, I typed... But anyways, Lol... I agree that truely, if anything had happened, I really would say something. I would never wish to harbor ill feelings between my Love and I.

_____________________________


(in reply to johnxinxscruz)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dominant Accountability - 4/5/2006 1:37:47 AM   
NickInSLC


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedToUseYou

Well, the sub could leave. I guess that would be punishment. 


Well said NeedToUse.  Like any other relationship, BDSM is a two way street, and if the submissive loses trust in the dominant, leaving is the only reasonable thing to do.

Indeed, leaving is somewhat final, but oft times the best course of action.  Sadly, many of the lesser 'dominants' make the exit cost so high that it takes a very severe fuckup for their submissives to walk out the door.

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Dominant Accountability Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094