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RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 4:54:33 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

my internal cause is love for the dominant man (and the dominant women too actually) - i love them - to my core - all of them, even domiguy  - i love them because they understand people like me and im grateful that they are there as my opposite number so that i can be me, fully, freely and absolutely - they demand that i am me, they demand all that i can give and i can give all of me because they have the capacity to take it all and return it with care, understanding, fulfillment and pleasure.  i love that i can bring them that pleasure, that my personality type compliments their personality type.  in a Ds or Ms relationship i am me and at no other time and in no other relationship can i be what i am with them and to them.

it has nothing at all to do with low self esteem and everything to do with giving pleasure and fulfillment to another human being who understands what and who i am.


This is told so well and is so true, that it deserves this kind of font.
Just this is enough to make the entire thread worthy. This explains real submission and is a really great counterargument to people like me who might think that submissiveness is caused by low self esteem.
Maybe some rare instances of submissiveness are really caused by low self esteem, but I believe and hope that the overwhelming majority of submissives are submissive for the reasons mentioned in the quoted text.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 4:56:54 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Good god! You're part way there.....yes it is beautiful, but no there is no REAL SUBMISSION and it is only her personal reason, not applicable to EVERYONE. Honestly, how can you possibly not see what you are doing?

Wait! Is this the real ploy to get someone to top you? To be as purposefully obtuse as possible until they hit you?

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 5/21/2010 4:57:49 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 5:04:27 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

This explains real submission...I believe and hope that the overwhelming majority of submissives are submissive for the reasons mentioned in the quoted text.
Aaaaaaargh-you've flipped straight from one daft extreme to the other!

Are lally's reasons for her submission awesome? Yes. Are they the only potential reasons for submission that are awesome? Fuck me, no.

Do me a favour? As an exercise, try erasing the following words from your vocabulary on the boards for 24 hours and see if people like you better

1) Should (as in 'people should do x,y,x')
2) Real (as in 'real dominance/submission')
3) Majority (as in 'the majority of subs', overwhelming or otherwise-you've aptly demonstrated that you're unqualified to make any statements about the majority)


_____________________________

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(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 5:08:27 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Good god! You're part way there.....yes it is beautiful, but no there is no REAL SUBMISSION and it is only her personal reason, not applicable to EVERYONE. Honestly, how can you possibly not see what you are doing?

Wait! Is this the real ploy to get someone to top you? To be as purposefully obtuse as possible until they hit you?

This might be why he has a serious interest in submissive women who will take control of certain aspects or top him.  If this is his personality in real life as well, I'd be wondering how many Dominant women would tolerate him for very long.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 5:12:34 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
.This is told so well and is so true, that it deserves this kind of font.
Just this is enough to make the entire thread worthy. This explains real submission and is a really great counterargument to people like me who might think that submissiveness is caused by low self esteem.
Maybe some rare instances of submissiveness are really caused by low self esteem, but I believe and hope that the overwhelming majority of submissives are submissive for the reasons mentioned in the quoted text.



thank you - but as laurell has said, its my internal reason and by no means everyones, plus its taken me a time and a few relationships to work this out for myself.

there are so many different people and different reasons for being here and no one person is the same.  i would maybe postulate that for a number of Ds or Ms submissives who are in it for the relationship as well as or inspite of the BDSM its possible that they are in it for the yin and the yang, the opposite to them, the symbiosis of personality traits, but that is only a small part of the whole picture.

im not and never have been much of a player, so i dont think along those lines as much as maybe i should when i post - but there are a whole load of different reasons.

the good thing is though, that youve dropped or are dropping the whole low self esteem thing.  so thats good

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 5:20:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Lally I totally get that. It's just there are a lot of slaves who have dominant personalities, they are being completely themselves and comfortable being active and taking charge, simply doing it within the authority of their master.

As well many awesome masters are laid back, non assertive, not overt solidly dominant personality.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 5:32:08 PM   
OrpheusAgonistes


Posts: 253
Joined: 3/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:


This is told so well and is so true, that it deserves this kind of font.
Just this is enough to make the entire thread worthy. This explains real submission and is a really great counterargument to people like me who might think that submissiveness is caused by low self esteem.
Maybe some rare instances of submissiveness are really caused by low self esteem, but I believe and hope that the overwhelming majority of submissives are submissive for the reasons mentioned in the quoted text.


This is like when Sky Masterson has his sudden scenery chewing phony epiphany to convince Sarah Brown that he's a reformed sinner so she'll go away with him to dinner in Havana so he can win the bet with Nathan Detroit so....wait everybody is a big fan of cheesy musical theater right?  Right?  Oh.

Anyway.  As the "Oh Lordy, Lordy I see the light" schtick goes, this is weak.    The OP is either utterly daft or a completely tone deaf troll.  Actually, it could be a both/and situation rather than an either/or.

Lally offers  a lovely explanation for one person's feelings about submission.  It's stated with an enviable clarity and a nice elegance.  So kudos.  I'm always a little jealous when someone says something so well.

That said, the OP originally presented as cognitively closed to the idea of submission.  He wanted someone to "submit to him" (oh, and maybe top him, every now and then, because he's so dominant he needs to be able to dominate someone into topping him) but had no idea why someone might ever want to do this.  Unless it was because of "low self-esteem."  Then, after only one extremely well written post, he has seen the light!  Explosions have gone off in his head!  It all suddenly makes sense!

It doesn't work that way.  This is like the closeted frat boy who goes to a gay bar "as a joke" and chats up every muscular older dude he sees saying things like "I mean, I just don't get how two guys could do that with each other.  It just doesn't make any sense to me.  Because I'm so straight.  I'm never going to understand it.  Could you...show me?"

The other option is that the OP is a ten penny provocateur who hasn't quite learned to use a little bit of shading and texture when he jumps from one rhetorical extreme to the other just to keep things stirred up.  The world will likely never know.  Chiefly because the world will likely never be too interested.


_____________________________

What I cannot create, I do not understand.--Feynman

Every sentence I have written here is the product of some disease.-- Wittgenstein

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 5:35:02 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Yep a few of us were just having that same conversation. I'm actually putting my money on brain damage...but nonetheless your points are well made and taken.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to OrpheusAgonistes)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 5:39:48 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Lally I totally get that. It's just there are a lot of slaves who have dominant personalities, they are being completely themselves and comfortable being active and taking charge, simply doing it within the authority of their master.

yes, ill admit i tend to think from where im at more than i should

As well many awesome masters are laid back, non assertive, not overt solidly dominant personality.

i know, ive found one  and its a joy to feel the pull into him as something i am giving rather than it being overtly taken - i have no doubt it will be taken too of course, but yes - even so, because of his laid back personality my personality needs to strive a littlle harder in a way, which isnt a bad thing at all, in fact i prefer it.  i have to think more, realise more, consider more - x


_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 5:59:26 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I've always had a very dominant personality. Every job I've taken on an entry level, I've been put into managment within six months, I've owned my own business and now work for myself but I am submissive in a relationship.

In being submissive to my partner, it's the only time the walls that seperate me from the rest of the world can actually come down, the only time I am completly exposed to another person. The sense of freedom and relief of not maintaining the personna the rest of the people in my life expect from me is almost overwhelming. That someone can see the weakness's I hide from the rest of the world and offer support or help in dealing with them is something I don't get from anyone other then a Dominant partner because they are the only one who see's the vulnerabilitys I have.

To simply serve and know that you are valued for just that. To not have an agenda or something to prove...that someone see's you... and for that to be enough is the most peacefull feeling I can experience.

My need to submit has nothing to do with low self esteem and everything to do with being more myself then I can experience in day to day life.



_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'


I have an explosive personality...


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 6:04:01 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline 		Lovely response, jbcurious!

(in reply to jbcurious)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 6:07:36 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

Lovely response, jbcurious!
For once we agree. God, but I love that woman!


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 6:23:22 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
.My need to submit has nothing to do with low self esteem and everything to do with being more myself then I can experience in day to day life.




i loved all of youre post, but this is the bit that really made me smile -  xx



_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to jbcurious)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 6:26:33 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

Lovely response, jbcurious!
For once we agree. God, but I love that woman!



Thanks VC...you know it's mutual xo

I couldn't help but giggle at the Op and the thought that any Dom would want to make me more dominant...

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'


I have an explosive personality...


(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 6:28:24 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

I have no experience as a Dominant ....



Nooooooooooooo.  Get out of here.  You have no experience as a Dominant?  i never would have guessed that. 


_____________________________

"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 6:29:29 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

Thanks VC...you know it's mutual xo
*Mwah!*

quote:

I couldn't help but giggle at the Op and the thought that any Dom would want to make me more dominant...
Welllll......if we are going to one day take over Ibiza and rule the island like the Queens we are destined to be then you might have to Domme up just a teeeeeeeeensy bit more while we get there :P

You can relax again once we have full military control, ok?


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to jbcurious)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 6:31:20 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

I have no experience as a Dominant ....



Nooooooooooooo.  Get out of here.  You have no experience as a Dominant?  i never would have guessed that. 

Rochsub, your sarcasm got in between the JB/VC lovefest. I'm going to assume it was an accident this time. Don't let it happen again

(Teasing, teasing...)


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 6:31:27 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious

I've always had a very dominant personality. Every job I've taken on an entry level, I've been put into managment within six months, I've owned my own business and now work for myself but I am submissive in a relationship.

In being submissive to my partner, it's the only time the walls that seperate me from the rest of the world can actually come down, the only time I am completly exposed to another person. The sense of freedom and relief of not maintaining the personna the rest of the people in my life expect from me is almost overwhelming. That someone can see the weakness's I hide from the rest of the world and offer support or help in dealing with them is something I don't get from anyone other then a Dominant partner because they are the only one who see's the vulnerabilitys I have.

To simply serve and know that you are valued for just that. To not have an agenda or something to prove...that someone see's you... and for that to be enough is the most peacefull feeling I can experience.

My need to submit has nothing to do with low self esteem and everything to do with being more myself then I can experience in day to day life.





Ditto and well put but add a whole lot of masochism and sex to my order please.

where ya been woman? I've missed you!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to jbcurious)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 6:34:25 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
.My need to submit has nothing to do with low self esteem and everything to do with being more myself then I can experience in day to day life.




i loved all of youre post, but this is the bit that really made me smile -  xx




I'm laughing now as I had only gotten as far as the Op's opinion that many subs have self esteem issues and have only now read your post... what can I say... great minds think alike

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'


I have an explosive personality...


(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Do any of you Dominants have a desire to make your ... - 5/21/2010 6:46:49 PM   
jbcurious


Posts: 717
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I was being all deep and didn't want to let the "weel twue" reason we're subs slip out... of course it's all about the sex!!

VC...I can "Domme up" for the take over... as long as I have *cough* someone to submit to...

_____________________________

'Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips.'


I have an explosive personality...


(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 80
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