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Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:03:05 PM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

I am wondering about something: the hostility here. I am not talking about a heated discussion on the boards; what I am reacting to is the anger, the meanness, in the profiles that pop up when we log on or off. I am not dissing women OR men, but it seems that women in particular are enraged that men evidently contact them (or so they say) when they indicate a non-hetero orientation. I mean, they really sound furious, and the name calling is fierce. I dont get it. I understand it might be frustrating, but dont we all get mail we dont want?

Post #: 1

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:04:50 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

If I blame Hormones will I get yelled at?

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 2

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:05:50 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

It's the oldest trick in the book. It makes you look cool and hip to put other people down. At least... it did in grade school and apparently it does on the internet.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 3

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:06:56 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

It's the oldest trick in the book. It makes you look cool and hip to put other people down. At least... it did in grade school and apparently it does on the internet.

Yeah well you're a doodie head and everyone knows it.. You Cootie Doodie Poo Poo Head.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 4

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:10:12 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
Yeah well you're a doodie head and everyone knows it.. You Cootie Doodie Poo Poo Head.

Oh yeah? Well my sub can beat up your sub! Nyah nyah nyah nyah

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 5

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:13:54 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

You think so huh? Well My sub heard your sub isn't Weal or Twue.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 6

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:14:31 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

If I blame Hormones will I get yelled at?

Maybe when I'm done laughing....

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 7

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:22:53 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am wondering about something: the hostility here. I am not talking about a heated discussion on the boards; what I am reacting to is the anger, the meanness, in the profiles that pop up when we log on or off. I am not dissing women OR men, but it seems that women in particular are enraged that men evidently contact them (or so they say) when they indicate a non-hetero orientation. I mean, they really sound furious, and the name calling is fierce. I dont get it. I understand it might be frustrating, but dont we all get mail we dont want?

Hostility for some seem to act as a shield between the reality of a valid human need to connect with others on a genuine level. Hostile words seem justified especially when others have unresolved resentments or bitterness. I for one do not allow people who are hostile to enter into my life. I will not negotiate with those who choose to live in a state of resentment and rage while allowing for continued hostility to further reinforce similar hostile conduct.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 8

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:23:21 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Are you talking about hostile profiles?

I think it does come out of frustration. Yes, we all get mail that we don't want, but after a period of time, I think some of it gets old. I love the mail that I get from folks on the forums, but the 'drive-by' mail tends to get tedious after a while. I'm very specific in My profile about only being interested in local people and some kinks that I have no interest in participation. At minimum, at least ten times a day, I write replies that go to the tune of, "the word 'local' appears in My profile three times". Take that minimum of ten times a day and multiply it by being here almost three and a half years.

I can see the potential for folks who are one orientation or another getting more irritated from certain contacts. Most will put "No Men" at the top of the profile and I honestly think that should be respected. Unfortunately, this is being said on the forums and most folks who use the forums aren't the ones who can't seem to do that.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 9

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:32:16 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am wondering about something: the hostility here. I am not talking about a heated discussion on the boards; what I am reacting to is the anger, the meanness, in the profiles that pop up when we log on or off. I am not dissing women OR men, but it seems that women in particular are enraged that men evidently contact them (or so they say) when they indicate a non-hetero orientation. I mean, they really sound furious, and the name calling is fierce. I dont get it. I understand it might be frustrating, but dont we all get mail we dont want?

Firebirdseeking,

I always found the hostile profiles very strange in all truth. Particularly when they spiraled into venting sessions about things they encountered on the site. I used to have a piece on my journal regarding the subject and suggested they alleviate such diatribes, but I digress that's merely some people's wiring. When I had little interest in receiving mail I put away my profile. It was an easily solution that didn't require me to come unspooled over something fairly trivial in my mind. While I'm not entertaining prospects at present, that doesn't prevent some gentleman from writing and attempting to sway my thinking. I take it all in stride and remember what I can control while interacting in this space. As long as I maintain my poise and remain true to myself, I can't worry about the decisions other individuals make. It isn't my concern.

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 10

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:36:18 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

I had a long response but my computer ate it.

Anyway... basically, they are probably venting. They are probably get a lot of crappy e-mails from disrespectful twats. So they get, understandably, annoyed. And if the most they do with that anger is make a harsh profile, what is the big deal? They aren't coming on the threads and chewing people out. They aren't, as far we know anyway, randomly insulting people.

Instead they use their profile to vent their frustration. Their profile, which you can choose to read or ignore.

It's like a LiveJournal of sorts. If it's interesting to you, read it. If it's not, ignore it. I don't see the problem with someone making their profile however they want it. At any rate, if they are a hostile person, wouldn't you prefer that they be honest about that so that people know what they getting into when they begin a relationship with them?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 11

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:37:54 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Shrug, I get pretty fed up with msgs from guys who are on my hard-limit list: my profile sez straight/sub males only, and I have to wade through a dozen or two a day just to find the ones who meet this basic requirement.
And remember, I've also had to wade through the msgs with threats of violence, bestiality, mutilation, death, etc. just to get to the time-wasting msgs.
Any wonder why I'm a mite peeved when I arrive at the bi-guys and gals and fake profiles, and why they get hit with some shrapnel? Walk a metre in my gladiator sandals . . .

So, to limit my eyerolls and irks, now I only open mail from sub guys and names I recognise/like from the boards. Too bad, since I've had some nice msgs from others, but I'm looking for my next good man, who is not going to be bi-, married, 17, 70, or a chick.
And so my profile sez if you're in those categories, do us both a favour and click the 'next' arrow. Otherwise, I shall taunt you a second time.

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 12

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:38:49 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

It's the oldest trick in the book. It makes you look cool and hip to put other people down. At least... it did in grade school and apparently it does on the internet.

Oh, you're just being a big baby! *adjusts her cool sunglasses and sashays away*

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 13

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:48:54 PM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

I can understand being frustrated that people overlook our preferences or requirements. Poly men have messaged me. Switch men have messaged me. Women have messaged me.

The thing is, some of the "ranting" is so severe, it mostly depicts a person not in control of his or her emotions, and I would think that is a turnoff even to those who "fit" our preferences or requirements.

< Message edited by Firebirdseeking -- 7/9/2010 9:49:32 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 14

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 9:57:51 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I can understand being frustrated that people overlook our preferences or requirements. Poly men have messaged me. Switch men have messaged me. Women have messaged me.

The thing is, some of the "ranting" is so severe, it mostly depicts a person not in control of his or her emotions, and I would think that is a turnoff even to those who "fit" our preferences or requirements.

I understand your feelings on that. It's actually one of the reasons that I don't initiate contact with folks on the other side unless they are forum participants. Being poly Myself, I understand that some monogamous folks have gotten contacted by too many poly folks that seem like they are bent on 'converting' people. I don't want to get wrapped up in that.

I will say that has never been an issue with forum participants. Overwhelmingly, the response is darn near always positive if friendly notes are exchanged.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 15

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 10:00:52 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I can understand being frustrated that people overlook our preferences or requirements. Poly men have messaged me. Switch men have messaged me. Women have messaged me.

The thing is, some of the "ranting" is so severe, it mostly depicts a person not in control of his or her emotions, and I would think that is a turnoff even to those who "fit" our preferences or requirements.

But why does it bother you? That's really not meant rudely - why do their harsh words bother you so much?

In reality, they are probably letting off steam in the ether. How different is it from screaming at a wall or punching out a bag? Both of which, if you stumbled on that person without knowing them, would seem creepy and overly hostile.

At the end of the day, if they are happy with the results their profile is getting them... who are we to judge them?

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/9/2010 10:01:24 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 16

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 10:08:19 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It's like a LiveJournal of sorts. If it's interesting to you, read it. If it's not, ignore it. I don't see the problem with someone making their profile however they want it. At any rate, if they are a hostile person, wouldn't you prefer that they be honest about that so that people know what they getting into when they begin a relationship with them?

Val,

I believe it's their right to do so. Even if that isn't the way I'd present myself, I can't tell someone else what to do with their profile. Obviously they wouldn't be my cup of tea. I'm wired enough on caffeine. However, I won't contact them and say that either. It's the whole respect and decorum thing that I won't compromise. In the end it's their shtick and I respect that.

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 17

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 10:11:38 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It's like a LiveJournal of sorts. If it's interesting to you, read it. If it's not, ignore it. I don't see the problem with someone making their profile however they want it. At any rate, if they are a hostile person, wouldn't you prefer that they be honest about that so that people know what they getting into when they begin a relationship with them?

Val,

I believe it's their right to do so. Even if that isn't the way I'd present myself, I can't tell someone else what to do with their profile. Obviously they wouldn't be my cup of tea. I'm wired enough on caffeine. However, I won't contact them and say that either. It's the whole respect and decorum thing that I won't compromise. In the end it's their shtick and I respect that.

~porcelaine

Erm... Aqua, not Val. Val has the penis. I have the boobies.

And I agree with you on one count at least - I probably wouldn't contact them either. But still... if that's who they are or that's how they want to make their profile... let 'em go for it. I don't have to read it and I severely doubt I would contact them to let them know I disapprove of their profile. I suppose there is some circumstance in which I might but I'm hard-pressed to think of one.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 18

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 11:22:45 PM

DarlingSavage

Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

If I blame Hormones will I get yelled at?

QSM

Yes! That was a stupid question!

_____________________________

<-- Easily amused.
<-- Easily impressed.

Strangers have the BEST candy!

Puppy dogs are my favorite people!

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 19

RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/9/2010 11:27:06 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

If I blame Hormones will I get yelled at?

QSM

Yes! That was a stupid question!

Yeah, so..... um..... how are you doing this Lunar Phase?

J/K.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to DarlingSavage)

Post #: 20

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