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RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 9:25:19 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Oh so true...we are all flawed...but we were talking hostile not pitifully embarrassing. Men in this position tend to beg...where women get mad…thus hostile.

Butch


If you read the male journals that is where you will find the hostility...not on their profiles


"All the fakes on here.."

"If you were a real submissive you would answer my emails, and if you are reading my journal, fuck you"

"CM has nothing but scammers"

"Nothing but bitches on here"

etc etc etc

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 9:32:36 AM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		LOL, Julianaoceana and KdSub, you are both accurate.

But I have also had men get angry with me because I was not behaving the way they thought a sub "should".

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 9:33:58 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Not too bright are they... not a good advertisement of dominance if they advertise their rejections…lol

If I were to be an asshole, which we all agree I’m not, I would do all my ranting in the mail then block them so they can’t respond…bwaaa ha ha ha

Butch

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(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 9:35:55 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Not too bright are they... not a good advertisement of dominance if they advertise their rejections…lol

If I were to be an asshole, which we all agree I’m not, I would do all my ranting in the mail then block them so they can’t respond…bwaaa ha ha ha

Butch


Yeah.... I have experienced that....


"You aren't a real sub, julia, get the fuck off this site, we don't want you here"

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 10:26:20 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

But I have also had men get angry with me because I was not behaving the way they thought a sub "should".


But again, good to know ahead of time, before you waste too much time talking to them.


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(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 10:37:43 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

But I have also had men get angry with me because I was not behaving the way they thought a sub "should".


But again, good to know ahead of time, before you waste too much time talking to them.



Which again might be the source of hostility in those who have had their time wasted...

I have had a couple of bisexual switches email me, and I have emailed them back that I only date het doms both told me that this was fairly common for het subs to seek het doms. Hence the emailing subs that have stated a contrary preference....

Maybe it is hard for some men to be honest... which is why some switches have multiple profiles for each orientation... some see that as being "dishonest", but in their mind they maybe acting on that orientation at that particular moment...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 10:58:11 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ElizabethAnne

Hell, it's just not profiles.  Look at how many hostile replies there are on Collar Me.  I think it's partly because of the anonymity of the internet, anyone can act anyway they please.  Who really knows them?   I've met several people from on line, one guy comes to mind;  He was an ass, a total jerk on line, the reality?  He was a really super nice guy.   Somehow I doubt when meeting off line many people would be as nasty as they appear on line.   Guess it makes a person super cool to call someone a cunt on line....especially if they are not the "in crowd", and there is a bandwagon to jump aboard.   Lots of pact mentality exists.   Or is it sophomoric behavior?   Or are people so desperate to fit in, they go along with the crowd.


ElizabethAnne,

I'm uncertain but I agree that Internet the brings out some zany things. CollarMe has its issues but I frequent other sites that are far worse in all truth. I do believe the pack mentality behavior is pretty sad when you consider the ages it typically involves. It's rarely comprised of the twenty somethings that are bored out of their brains. I agree with your sentiments regarding demeanor. Some people enjoy inciting others and pushing buttons. I've known people like that and they're laughing as they write messages/posts just to see how the other person will react. I get a bigger chuckle from the would be bully because I suspect they're clamoring for respect elsewhere (that's lacking) and using unsuspecting strangers as their scapegoats.

~porcelaine


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His will; my fate.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 11:06:55 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

Did I say what people SHOULD say or NOT not? I dont think so. I am not the thought or print police. I posted a straightforwar inquiry about the level of hostility expressed by people getting profile responses they dont want or like. I have certainly gotten my share as well of inappropriate, disgusting things. I just delete.

If someone is repeatedly getting messaged by ONLY losers, maybe its time to look at what is in the profile? we tend to attract what we put out there. Hostility tends to create more hostility. The ripple effect, you know...



I find the bolded part to be a vast overgeneralization. I mean really, let's not be naive. No matter what one puts on their profile, no matter how articulate, a woman is bound to receive loser replies.

My own profile is just fine, lacking hostility and I continually get inappropriate emails. I just ignore them.

So let's not blame the victims here; not that I feel that I or anyone else who receives idiotic messages are victims. I just feel it is a bit silly to make such an idealistic comment like that.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 11:20:13 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		While the CM lured me in- I stay due to the cool people on this side.

While it is fun to dream, look around, I find the banter on this side a whole lot more fulfilling.


If someone posts- they are taken more seriously by me... I can look at their posts to size them up.

Even still- I enjoy this side. The rotten attitude I agree is a turn off- but to that I say- maybe the profiler brings it all upon themself.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 11:21:25 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		You are here for the dancing and the shoes!

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 11:31:39 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

You are here for the dancing and the shoes!


Hell yeah!


Jefff is one of my fav posters. I have a few. He helps make this board a great place. :-)

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 11:32:45 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		STOMP

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 11:35:32 AM   
hunbubbee


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline 		I just laugh off aggressively hostile folks now and steer clear away from defensively aggressive ones. Indulging in the anger venting seems to be what the angry/ hostile posters want - evoking combat or dominating someones emotions by making them react out of character -ie, upset or demoralized. I personally put things in perspective when in forums/ online with 'Jerkolas'.... there's alot to enjoy in life online and offline regardless of Jerkolas attempts to rain on one's parade. I think those who  feel inclined to react to hostile types with out of character anger should take a deep breath and not react right away- just gather clear thoughts before and if replying back.


< Message edited by hunbubbee -- 7/10/2010 11:38:42 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 11:39:36 AM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline 		I still think it's Hormones.

QSM

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RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 11:41:41 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

STOMP

STOMP!!!!! *grins*

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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 1:08:14 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

FR

Helpful tip: for people wishing to skip the profiles altogether (sort of), simply set the age range with the older age preceding the younger age. 99-18 for example.

You will still be brought to the Home page and to the right (the profile section), it will simply say "No Profiles Found".

edit: clarity

thanks so much for this little hint. I like the results.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 1:18:20 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

Did I say what people SHOULD say or NOT not? I dont think so.

And I didn't say you did. You said that they made inappropriate comments. I asked why you got to decide what was appropriate for them.
quote:


I am not the thought or print police. I posted a straightforwar inquiry about the level of hostility expressed by people getting profile responses they dont want or like. I have certainly gotten my share as well of inappropriate, disgusting things. I just delete.

And I do the same. Great for us. Does everyone have to be like us? Why is a different response, as you said, inappropriate?
quote:


If someone is repeatedly getting messaged by ONLY losers, maybe its time to look at what is in the profile? we tend to attract what we put out there. Hostility tends to create more hostility. The ripple effect, you know...

Maybe it's just losers. Maybe they have bad luck. Maybe they get a mix but the losers are truly horrible. You don't know what kind of profile they had before they added the comments you deem hostile.

The point is: You DON'T know what kind of messages they are getting. You don't know anything about them. So how are YOU in a place to decide what is out of line?

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/10/2010 1:50:05 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 2:26:40 PM   
splorff


Posts: 386
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

Moreover, many of these folks are doing/saying things they would not, were they in our presence, so in addition to it being hostile and inappropriate, it is also cowardly.


Absolutely. They would not say those things to you in your presence. I think the anonimity of the internet makes them feel more comfortable about being offensive.


(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 2:38:01 PM   
splorff


Posts: 386
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

I would say that most of the hostile profiles are women. These women I believe live two lives. In the first or real life they find themselves less than desirable for any number of reasons. In the second or online lives they find that men usually don’t care what makes them undesirable in their real lives. Being men they are often only after sex and are aggressive in their search…it is what men do… one of their main purposes in nature.

This gives these women the feeling of power and desirability they don’t experience in their real lives. It is like being drunk on power even if false. They then take their revenge on those that would not look twice at them if they met on the street.

I am not condemning women and I understand the frustration of being bomb boarded by mail from men who don’t read their profiles. And these men deserve what they get.

I actually feel sorry for those that believe CM gives them power to change their pitiful lives…this power is only a dream.

Butch


I concur. Angry middle aged women who are pulling zilch on the babe-o-meter, hiding behind an image of a pretty young woman. They use platforms such as this to offload their anger at men in general, and their respondents in particular, who would, as you point out, want nothing to do with them were they to meet. Sad. Very sad.

< Message edited by splorff -- 7/10/2010 2:40:02 PM >

(in reply to kdsub)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/10/2010 2:44:54 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Angry middle aged women who are pulling zilch on the babe-o-meter, hiding behind an image of a pretty young woman. They use platforms such as this to offload their anger at men in general, and their respondents in particular, who would, as you point out, want nothing to do with them were they to meet.


Do you honestly think men here aren't guilty of the same thing?

I would also wonder, do women that are older (and by your assumption "less attractive" as a result of their age) have the right to expect that their wishes to date straight het men be respected.... or are they just don't have the right to demand a straight dom

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to splorff)
Profile   Post #: 60
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