RE: Why all the hostility?

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RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/11/2010 10:33:41 AM

areallivehuman

Posts: 277
Joined: 1/16/2010
Status: offline

"A heart steeped in anger
Grows weak and grows bitter
You become your own prisoner
As you watch yourself sit there
Wrapped up in a trap,
Of your very own chain of sorrows."

(in reply to KatyLied)

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RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/11/2010 2:45:14 PM

sunnybeachguy

Posts: 37
Joined: 6/1/2010
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I post in here now and then and usually get bashed big time. I just read and take in all in. I am thinking one day, I will learn something here, so far not yet.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

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RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/11/2010 6:14:44 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunnybeachguy

I post in here now and then and usually get bashed big time. I just read and take in all in. I am thinking one day, I will learn something here, so far not yet.

That is unfortunate, you have also received some well intentioned good advice from caring people. It is too bad that you want to focus on the negative

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sunnybeachguy)

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RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/11/2010 7:11:39 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: splorff

I have also witnessed women being abusive just for the sake of it, after deciding to be offended at nothing at all.

This is where you are mistaken. You do not get to decide what someone else may find offensive. You don't ever know what someone else's background is and why he or she seems to overreact at what (in your opinion) is a minor point.

Years ago on bondage.com the rankings included the term slut. One woman when she had made the 5000 posts or whatever was needed to gain that put up a post asking that this line under her name be changed as she found it offensive. Many of the regular posters were like you, upbraiding her finding such a term offensive when it was obviously being used in a joking manner.

Eventually, and with great bravery she shared the fact that her objection to it came from years of early abuse by her father who called her this when he abused her.

My point is that she could easily have not shared this and continued getting a great deal of censure from other people who said she had no right to find this offensive. The truth was far different. The fact that no one knew why she found this offensive was unimportant. It was very offensive to her and no one else had the right to diminish her feelings by saying, as you did, that she was being offended by nothing.

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RE: Why all the hostility? - 7/12/2010 2:06:40 AM

splorff

Posts: 386
Joined: 2/23/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Years ago on bondage.com the rankings included the term slut. One woman when she had made the 5000 posts or whatever was needed to gain that put up a post asking that this line under her name be changed as she found it offensive. Many of the regular posters were like you, upbraiding her finding such a term offensive when it was obviously being used in a joking manner.

Eventually, and with great bravery she shared the fact that her objection to it came from years of early abuse by her father who called her this when he abused her.

My point is that she could easily have not shared this and continued getting a great deal of censure from other people who said she had no right to find this offensive. The truth was far different. The fact that no one knew why she found this offensive was unimportant. It was very offensive to her and no one else had the right to diminish her feelings by saying, as you did, that she was being offended by nothing.

The poor woman. Now here is someone who genuinely was offended. Even without such an appaling history, I think its very inappropriate to address a woman so - unless she like it of course,knows you well, and has spoken of her wish to be addressed as such.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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