quote:

ORIGINAL: favesclava

seems someone always bring up the whole slavery is not legal in this country. well a lot of illegal things go on in this country every second of every day. i'm His property. i will never be released. if i were to leave He would bring me back. i'm not abused, i'm not mind controlled. i'm not simple . what i am is totally owned by a man who knows my worth as His slave . having searched for the perfect one for Him for decades He will not let me go. His happiness , His necessity, His slave

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

quote:

Awesome tat, Calla! I LOVE that. Is that on you?

Yes, that's on me! It's part of my full-back Fire In Water piece. Arianna Leigh of Elegant Psychosis in Houston is my artist. She is -amazing-. I can't wait to see what this comes out as once it's fully colored!

quote:

If it's something you love and live for, don't you just do it becuase you are compelled (innerly as well as outerly) to do it? Because you love the way it feels or love the person your serving? Or both?

It is such a lovely piece of work. Very unusual. I love the flowing red-pink hair that looks like it is moving under water. I have no tattoos, but I'll remember the name just in case life brings a ... tattoo opportunity? my way.

quote:


You know -- I suspect that this is -my- issue. I'm a "head" person, not a "heart" person, I think. To me, I've never once in my life done something just because I "felt" compelled to do it (not even my ink, which is as close to an obsession/addiction as I've ever come--it's still thought out, planned, discussed damned near to -death- before the needle ever hits my skin). It's always been a thought process and a decision process for me. I can't really think of -anything- that I have -ever- done just because it "felt" right, or without thinking it through and making a choice. That choice may have happened in what seemed like an instant (trust me, it was much longer than that from the inside) to observers... but believe me when I say that I'd been poking the idea around quietly in my mind for a LOT longer than I'd said anything about it out loud where anyone could hear me. *Laughs* ... and for me, there is NEVER not a thought process involved. I can never make the excuse, when someone asks me "why?", that I "don't know" or I "didn't think about it."

I'm glad you described the way your inner experience of consciousness works. It's really different from the way I experience life. I believe I feel my way through life with these long whiskers I have protruding from every brain cell, mostly--and let my unconscious mind do most of the heavy thinking.

quote:


My example -- I write. I love to write. The stories dance in my head jostling for position for which one gets out first... My characters get downright mob-like if I go too long without letting them out to play... and even then, I have to make a -conscious- decision to sit down and apply my arse to the chair and write. I love it once I'm -doing- it, but for that few moments beforehand, I always pause and think -- "Yeah, I could sit down and write my novel... or I could do X... so which will it be."

That kind of decision-making drives me up a wall. I hate it. :/ I always feel as though I make a bad choice--no matter what the choice is!

quote:


I appreciate where barelynangel is coming from -- but the more I read her responses, the more I realized that -I- am one of those people she's talking about who could NEVER understand... because I really -do- think about things that much. To this day I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing (though I -do- think about that question every time it comes up, and sometimes I wish that I just didn't think so darned much), but, to paraphrase 'angel... it is what it is.

Calla

Nods. I also think it's a thing thing, not a good thing or a bad thing. But it's certainly different! At least to me. :) Don't you do small things unthinkingly, like grabbing your coat and keys or driving the same route to work or washing yourself? Do you think about that stuff? Those things tend to become semi-unconscious for me.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

fights a grin -- you object?  Icary's you do realize in the end what you object to is moot on all levels?  I will go on knowing as i did as soon as this thread started, there will be people who never understand what it is i speak of.  And that's okay. However, there are people who understand exactly of what i speak.  Are they in the minority, yes -- why?  Because the concept i speak about especially with all the discussion boards and people trying to teach people what being a slave is etc and mostly because most men aren't capable of achieving this depth of mastery over a woman.  You can analyze it to death, you can try and rationalize it, but in the end -- its not something that can be rationalized.  You simply accept it exists.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

the point is that in an ideal world no slave enslaved should ever have to come to terms with the fact that its time to leave for her own emotional and or physical health, but it happens. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

FR- ish, ive read some, well most of the posts...,

as an enslaved slave to a Master i loved deeply and was happy with, the 'choice' never ever occurred to me until it eventually did, like a bolt out of the blue - a sort of 'oh wow, i have a choice to leave this mess - here i go'.   well, it wasnt that simple emotionally, but in terms of leaving it certainly was.    one minute as my happy enslaved self with no choice - the next in a relationship that had gone seriously tits up i realised i was miserable and the choice had always been there.

so, to my mind everyone is right.

at some point in that happy happy time when its all great and youre enslavement is swinging the thought of leaving never occurs, there is no question, the idea of a choice simply does not enter youre head.  you are enslaved and there is nothing that you would not do or try to do for youre Master.

at another point when it really isnt working, it really isnt healthy, it really isnt happy - you realise you DO have a choice and that choice WAS always there.

the point is that in an ideal world no slave enslaved should ever have to come to terms with the fact that its time to leave for her own emotional and or physical health, but it happens. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I've made allowances for internal enslavement but it just seems crazy for some of the females here standing up and consciously telling everyone they don't have a choice when they seem more than able..and do quite frequently enact them...All the while doing it selectively...Usually when you "brainwash" someone..it kinda happens across the board. I mean in order to get a person to do a certain thing or be a certain way..as far as I'm concerned it requires behavioral and psychological changes that affect the whole persons thought process.Just an observation.

Most of you bear no fruit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Yeah but your not a real slave nor have you actually had the experience that they talk about..cause if you had..you'd never have come to the realization that you had a choice to begin with.

Icarys darling, im assuming that was tongue in cheek .  the bloody odd thing about having been enslaved and a slave is that once you have been there really is no going back from there.  the depth of submission is so incredible and the emotions so beautifully anhiliating, there is nothing else beyond that and to be honest, even if i met a man who was strictly Ds i would inevitably slip into the frame of enslavement anyway.  but i would have to temper that to his tastes, inside, in me, that is what i would feel.

I'm really not shocked at the extent people are willing to go to to hide the truth from themselves.

its not really a truth as you mean to describe here.  its an emotional state that never does leave you.  i left my Master but remained emotionally enslaved to him for nearly two years.  you can physically leave yes but the feelings take a whole lot longer to sort out.  i found it really interesting to read jujubees post and how she has changed her thinking around since becoming enslaved.  it is really impossible to explain to anyone until youve experienced it youreself.

They expend all manner of emotional and physical energy to separate themselves from the rest of the crowd..If you can't leave someone...it's because you don't want to...It's as simple as that..It's not complicated at all..Romantizing it to the point you can no longer see your own internal workings is fine if you want to live it...if your gonna have a discussion about, be expected to be told about the shortcomings of your ideas and how they just don't work for any human, psychologically..We as human beings..That means every fucking soul on the planet chooses..It's part of our nature.

no it really isnt about separating themselves from the crowd, it really is an honest account of how this phenomena feels.  when youre in it, deeply there the question of leaving simply does not arise.  why would you consider thinking about leaving a situation youre happy in and its entire tenet describes a total power exchange where the will to leave is completely taken away.   BUT - as i said in my post.  there can come a time, when that situation may become highly toxic and the realisation that the option for out is there and has always been there is both shocking and surprising and sometimes lamentably necessary.  but i do remember the feeling of going against the grain of ME in contemplating leaving the situation i was in and as ive said it took me two years to completely clear the feelings of enslavement to Him.

I've made allowances for internal enslavement but it just seems crazy for some of the females here standing up and consciously telling everyone they don't have a choice when they seem more than able..and do quite frequently enact them...All the while doing it selectively...Usually when you "brainwash" someone..it kinda happens across the board. I mean in order to get a person to do a certain thing or be a certain way..as far as I'm concerned it requires behavioral and psychological changes that affect the whole persons thought process.
Just an observation.

RIGHT NOW they dont feel they have a choice to leave because as you quite rightly say they are happy and cannot imagine that theyre Master will ever do anything to make them want to leave or reconsider their position.  that is the healthy way to be in a TPE relationship, its what everyone is working towards.  its there that the slave can settle and submit herself fully and that is what the Master wants.  there is no holding back because she is completely safe and surrounded by her Master - why would she consider a choice that is anathama to her and the relationship she is in.
 
its hard to explain xxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I've made allowances for internal enslavement but it just seems crazy for some of the females here standing up and consciously telling everyone they don't have a choice when they seem more than able..and do quite frequently enact them...All the while doing it selectively...Usually when you "brainwash" someone..it kinda happens across the board. I mean in order to get a person to do a certain thing or be a certain way..as far as I'm concerned it requires behavioral and psychological changes that affect the whole persons thought process.
Just an observation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

the point is that in an ideal world no slave enslaved should ever have to come to terms with the fact that its time to leave for her own emotional and or physical health, but it happens. 

Greetings lally,

I would posit that the thought and actual undertaking are different things. While the notion may crop up due to the issues mentioned and a host of others, putting that into motion and walking away would lead me to believe that the individual mentioned is no longer enslaved by the dominant. I view captivity as a way of being that has been reinforced to the point where anything that contradicts such that does not stem from the controlling party reflects a breakdown in the conditioning and a definite breach that should (or in some instances cannot) be remedied. Placing herself above the dynamic would suggest that the fetter is no longer in place.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

quote:

no it really isnt about separating themselves from the crowd, it really is an honest account of how this phenomena feels. when youre in it, deeply there the question of leaving simply does not arise. why would you consider thinking about leaving a situation youre happy in and its entire tenet describes a total power exchange where the will to leave is completely taken away. BUT - as i said in my post. there can come a time, when that situation may become highly toxic and the realisation that the option for out is there and has always been there is both shocking and surprising and sometimes lamentably necessary. but i do remember the feeling of going against the grain of ME in contemplating leaving the situation i was in and as ive said it took me two years to completely clear the feelings of enslavement to Him.

quote:

Greetings Icarys,

In my opinion it's the willing subjection to His direction and conditioning that creates a mindset and way of being that correlates with His desires. The idea that I cannot leave is one He's heavily imprinted to the degree where it isn't the fact that I'm unable to go, but my decisions are in line with His own for the dynamic. As we've witnessed this can remain in place in relationships that are healthy and horribly dysfunctional too. Speaking from a personal perspective it is a conscious subjugation to His molding and the ramifications of such that I have knowingly walked into. Choosing Him means accepting everything that goes along with that decision. If I elect to depart it is a clear statement that His choice and mine are no longer parallel. I don't believe it's a matter of being conquered by a will far greater than mine, than the understanding that the want and need of such significantly outweighs anything that might threaten its existence.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

no it really isnt about separating themselves from the crowd, it really is an honest account of how this phenomena feels. when youre in it, deeply there the question of leaving simply does not arise. why would you consider thinking about leaving a situation youre happy in and its entire tenet describes a total power exchange where the will to leave is completely taken away. BUT - as i said in my post. there can come a time, when that situation may become highly toxic and the realisation that the option for out is there and has always been there is both shocking and surprising and sometimes lamentably necessary. but i do remember the feeling of going against the grain of ME in contemplating leaving the situation i was in and as ive said it took me two years to completely clear the feelings of enslavement to Him.

That's called "love" and we've all felt it..

If you had asked me in any of my relationships while I was in-love if I would ever leave...I would have easily said it never crossed my mind..

Sherri was enslaved to me because she was madly in love with me and I with her..This I don't have a choice is simply an "extension" of that.

quote:

Now what I will not do, is pretend to know each of these posters and how they actually operate day to day.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

greetings porcelaine,

from my experience and from hers id have to say that it is possible to make that choice whilst still enslaved when that choice is for youre absolute best and you are still capable of making that choice, no matter how hard it is to make.

in the end we are our own keepers when it comes to our personal well being, we are the ones inside our own heads, no matter how much we might struggle with the concept of leaving the unleavable.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

FR- ish, ive read some, well most of the posts...,

as an enslaved slave to a Master i loved deeply and was happy with, the 'choice' never ever occurred to me until it eventually did, like a bolt out of the blue - a sort of 'oh wow, i have a choice to leave this mess - here i go'.   well, it wasnt that simple emotionally, but in terms of leaving it certainly was.    one minute as my happy enslaved self with no choice - the next in a relationship that had gone seriously tits up i realised i was miserable and the choice had always been there.

so, to my mind everyone is right.

at some point in that happy happy time when its all great and youre enslavement is swinging the thought of leaving never occurs, there is no question, the idea of a choice simply does not enter youre head.  you are enslaved and there is nothing that you would not do or try to do for youre Master.

at another point when it really isnt working, it really isnt healthy, it really isnt happy - you realise you DO have a choice and that choice WAS always there.

the point is that in an ideal world no slave enslaved should ever have to come to terms with the fact that its time to leave for her own emotional and or physical health, but it happens. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

FR- ish, ive read some, well most of the posts...,

as an enslaved slave to a Master i loved deeply and was happy with, the 'choice' never ever occurred to me until it eventually did, like a bolt out of the blue - a sort of 'oh wow, i have a choice to leave this mess - here i go'.   well, it wasnt that simple emotionally, but in terms of leaving it certainly was.    one minute as my happy enslaved self with no choice - the next in a relationship that had gone seriously tits up i realised i was miserable and the choice had always been there.

so, to my mind everyone is right.

at some point in that happy happy time when its all great and youre enslavement is swinging the thought of leaving never occurs, there is no question, the idea of a choice simply does not enter youre head.  you are enslaved and there is nothing that you would not do or try to do for youre Master.

at another point when it really isnt working, it really isnt healthy, it really isnt happy - you realise you DO have a choice and that choice WAS always there.

the point is that in an ideal world no slave enslaved should ever have to come to terms with the fact that its time to leave for her own emotional and or physical health, but it happens. 

first, i have not read every recent post, so this point may have been already made...but lally, with all due respect to you and your experiences, i do find it somewhat presumptuous of you to assume that love and/or happiness is the driver for the internal state of slavery, that state in which one can no longer even conceive choice in one's place, that angel and others have described here. as someone living in that state today and for the past 10 years, i can tell you quite honestly that not every moment, every day, or even every year has been a deliriously happy one. i was not always "in love." there have been many times when i very seriously thought i just could not bear it...maybe i'm not strong enough, or just wasn't cut out for this, or what...but never, not for a moment's moment, did the thought pop into my brain, "you could leave." never did i ever even think, "i wish to get away from this"...not because deep down i was content or fulfilled or whatever (at those times i certainly was not). but because i was/am a slave and that's the only reality i know. about a year into my slavery, i lost all concept of a "free" self.

so no, it is not because i have just been swimming in bliss for 10 years that i cannot fathom such a choice. it is because for me, there really is none. or to be more accurate, the choice is far beyond my ability not only to make, but to even comprehend...sort of like quantum physics.