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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 9:11:54 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I agree that predatory behavior has nothing to do with kink, it's just that kink makes it simpler to find prey.

Does it? Bar-hopping's not exactly difficult.

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 9:14:14 AM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I think that "predator" and "stalker" are words that get tossed about far too easily. A person can be a complete douche without being a predator.



I dunno, the lovely mental person who kept inventing crimes I committed, kept on sending the cops around until they finally realized some idiot is taking the piss with prepaid mobiles and ignored (now would be the time to commit crimes, ha), called the fire brigade, ambulance, you name, I think calling the turd a stalker would not be tossing the word around far too easily...

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 9:18:19 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
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Status: offline 		No kidding, Lady C!! THAT is a stalker! That is actually, a mental case who is a stalker for an occupation.

I have heard folks say that they are being "stalked" when someone writes to them too frequently. I have used the term myself, for a person who is just following me. My Chief Hater joins all my Fet lists, for instance. Yummy.

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 9:38:51 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Makes you wonder how much time and how little life some peeps seem to have...

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 10:16:42 AM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscusx
And that is where the slippery slope comes in. We all know at least one woman who hides her bruises and says Oh he LOVVVVVVES me!


Christ, I don't!

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 10:19:27 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscusx
And that is where the slippery slope comes in. We all know at least one woman who hides her bruises and says Oh he LOVVVVVVES me!


Christ, I don't!



Well, you might! I have friends who are survivors of long term abusive relationships. That is real time friends, plural. They know better now.

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 10:23:19 AM   
LadyConstanze


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Status: offline 		I was just going to say, I am sure he does but hasn't noticed because some of them are good at hiding and making excuses for an abusive spouse.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 10:25:21 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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Status: offline 		Yes, exactly.

Regarding VC's comment on bar-hopping... I guess that's true. I am just judging from the tactics of those that I know personally, who take their time and get to know their targets. A quickie isnt on their list of snacks.

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 10:50:20 AM   
Wolf2Bear


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Status: offline 		Problem is predators come in all shapes and sizes and are found in all areas of society. It's a trick to accurately determine if a person is an actual predator from one who's social skills are inadequate. 


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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 10:51:47 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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Status: offline 		It's my contention that predators have the BEST social skills. They are great at appearing smooth and friendly, and are often charming.

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 10:55:33 AM   
Wolf2Bear


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's my contention that predators have the BEST social skills. They are great at appearing smooth and friendly, and are often charming.


In this I have to agree 100%.  As you well know, even my own instincts were totally fooled a couple times much to my regret.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 11:04:20 AM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's my contention that predators have the BEST social skills. They are great at appearing smooth and friendly, and are often charming.


A lot of them are also very apt at appearing friendly and helpful, I learned to rely on my tingly spidery senses, even if I might feel guilty about not being over the moon when some seemingly "super nice" person offers help and friendship.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 11:08:20 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's my contention that predators have the BEST social skills. They are great at appearing smooth and friendly, and are often charming.


In this I have to agree 100%.  As you well know, even my own instincts were totally fooled a couple times much to my regret.




I freely admit that I have been played more than once!

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 11:09:45 AM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear



In this I have to agree 100%.  As you well know, even my own instincts were totally fooled a couple times much to my regret.



I can say only twice seriously but those 2 times have made me REALLY REALLY careful...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 11:14:41 AM   
Back2theFuture


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i wouldn't say someone was a predator just because he was awkward or dressed funny. but i think the tendency to do that comes out of the human tendency for hyperbole. i mean, look around the boards on any given day, and if someone says "i dont believe in X" someone else comes back with "you're an X-hating maniac!" likewise, i think people are prone to do that in real life, too.


Yeah its called High School... may they all burn in hell.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
to me, predators are those who manipulate and lie for a specific goal of some kind, a goal that manifests at the detriment of whoever they're acting upon. and by detriment i don't just mean "he's bugging me, ew, so creepy!" i mean hurting people, either physically or emotionally. they don't wear any specific kind of clothes, they don't look any specific way. and it's usually something that sneaks out pretty stealthily, rather than sitting like a flashing light on their heads.


Those aren't predators those are Doctors, Lawyers, politicians, Agents, Contractors.....you know what, never mind you were right.




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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 11:16:33 AM   
kalikshama


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quote:

I don't think the BDSM community's focus on "helpless subs and all the roving gangs of street doms out to get them" helps anything. It turns all the subs into victims making it that much easier to drag out the "predator" statement. Without that, some dom had bad chemistry with a sub might well just be "that creepy guy" but add in the victim mindset and he's a predator.


This was pretty much in my mind before I read this post. While real predators exist, I bet there are more victimy women with bad boundaries not taking responsibility for their actions.

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 11:18:18 AM   
mnottertail


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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 11:18:30 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's my contention that predators have the BEST social skills. They are great at appearing smooth and friendly, and are often charming.


Absolutely.  Glib, superficial charm while possessing no conscience is one of the hallmarks of the sociopath.  I know this from personal experience as well as reading. 

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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 11:25:15 AM   
Back2theFuture


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's my contention that predators have the BEST social skills. They are great at appearing smooth and friendly, and are often charming.


Absolutely.  Glib, superficial charm while possessing no conscience is one of the hallmarks of the sociopath.  I know this from personal experience as well as reading. 


You say that like its a bad thing...


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RE: Predators - 6/28/2011 11:36:10 AM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Back2theFuture

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's my contention that predators have the BEST social skills. They are great at appearing smooth and friendly, and are often charming.


Absolutely.  Glib, superficial charm while possessing no conscience is one of the hallmarks of the sociopath.  I know this from personal experience as well as reading. 


You say that like its a bad thing...



You want to relive my past 10 months? You're welcome to them, today the phone rang about 12 times, each time when I checked last number dialed it told me "You were called on ... at ... hours, we do not have a number for the caller" - and nope you can't just block numbers with blocked caller ID, it will also stop calls coming from people using cheap pre-codes, yes I could change my number but then the idiot get more enraged and start bothering work, or call the cops (again), report me passing out from smoke and yelling fire on the phone to him so the fire brigade will try to kick down my door at 4 am and and and...

I seriously had NO fucking idea how sick some people's minds can be, the worst thing I ever did to somebody who pissed me off (and ripped me off for a considerable amount of money) was go to a supply store for exotic animals, buy maggots who'd turn into grass hoppers, buried them in a lovely potted plant and had a friend deliver it with a thank you note of an admirer. I heard that the poor person happened to have a strange grasshopper infestation in his house, wonder how that happened... (Btw I can recommend it, and you can't bury them too deep, just lightly cover them with soil).

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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