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RE: Predators - 7/15/2011 4:36:42 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jennylandis

hi hannah,

thanks for the compliments :) for one, we need a clear definition of a predator ... if its someone who forcibly rapes women in dark alleys, then sure, that is completely wrong, but if we mean politicians who send naked pics of themselves to women on craigslist, i sympathize with them ...

and i understand where both of the types are coming from ... in a perfect world a person would get all the sex they want any time they want it ... but our world is not perfect

I think a major issue here is that people toss the term predator around when they shouldn't. A real true predator (sorry, sometimes I can't resist this shit) is very dangerous and poses an actual physical, emotional, and financial threat. They have developed an elegant veneer of charm that allows them to mimic emotion and act like everyone else.

Jerks, creeps and assholes are never charming and rarely dangerous.

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RE: Predators - 7/15/2011 5:17:36 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

possibly even went and bought a new dress, had the hair done, all the stuff women tend to do before a date

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzWOa8loCDI

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Post #: 102

RE: Predators - 7/15/2011 5:23:34 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

possibly even went and bought a new dress, had the hair done, all the stuff women tend to do before a date

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzWOa8loCDI

Too funny. I loved the goat in the foreground, in one of the outside trailer shots.

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RE: Predators - 7/15/2011 2:40:25 PM

MrHCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

That particular man is not a predator, he's an idiot. I think a predator has to actually pose a threat, no?

I didn't say he was a good predator.

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Post #: 104

RE: Predators - 7/15/2011 3:18:27 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I think a major issue here is that people toss the term predator around when they shouldn't. A real true predator (sorry, sometimes I can't resist this shit) is very dangerous and poses an actual physical, emotional, and financial threat. They have developed an elegant veneer of charm that allows them to mimic emotion and act like everyone else.

Jerks, creeps and assholes are never charming and rarely dangerous.

In part, this is what was going along in My thoughts when I started the thread. Not just that the term was being overused, but why it was being applied. The term "predator" is the stronger term, and especially when someone hasn't actually *done* anything in attempt to harm another party. The lighter term would be "creepy".

If I go to a play party, I tend to fit in pretty well. I'm a female top with a decent amount of experience in doing so and I have good social skills. Generally, I'll end up playing with at least one person through the course of the evening and often, it will be more than one. If I'm not playing, I'm either socializing or I might watch other people playing.

Now, what if the situation were reversed? Let's say that it would be a male top, who was rather inexperienced, wasn't attractive, and fumbled in social areas? Maybe the guy who doesn't play much, even though he does ask people (perhaps a number of times over the course of a few events), getting turned down often, so he does a lot of watching for lack of the opportunity to participate.

Between the two cases, are we quicker to throw those labels at the latter based on the outside attributes?

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RE: Predators - 7/16/2011 10:30:09 AM

domiguy

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Obsidian and Obsidian's namaste....How awesome is that shit?

gotta love the community. What makes them anyone that should be talking about anything in front of a group of people?

bdsm'ers are a stupid lot, indeed.

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RE: Predators - 7/16/2011 10:37:32 AM

HannahLynHeather

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Joined: 4/4/2011
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quote:

I remember doing a research paper on time, and reading about it in Aristotle's Metaphysics. That sort of warped my view on time ever after.

ok, save me the trouble of trying to find it online, what did he say and why did it fuck you up?

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RE: Predators - 7/16/2011 10:52:03 AM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

Between the two cases, are we quicker to throw those labels at the latter based on the outside attributes?

yes. guys get shit for being inept. they are expected to be fucking pros from the get go. a newbie domme is cute <well unless she does the whole "kneel before your goddess' shit>. but a newbie dom is considered something to look down on, and if he tries to play, he's a predator because he doesn't do it right and the cunt gets hurt, if he tries to learn by watching he's some creeper perv, and if he tries to learn by asking questions he's a fucking annoyance.

face it guys have a rough fucking furrow to plow a lot of the time. just one more reason i'm fucking glad i'm an innie and not an outie.

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Post #: 108

RE: Predators - 7/16/2011 4:00:19 PM

xssve

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i wouldn't say someone was a predator just because he was awkward or dressed funny. but i think the tendency to do that comes out of the human tendency for hyperbole. i mean, look around the boards on any given day, and if someone says "i dont believe in X" someone else comes back with "you're an X-hating maniac!" likewise, i think people are prone to do that in real life, too.

to me, predators are those who manipulate and lie for a specific goal of some kind, a goal that manifests at the detriment of whoever they're acting upon. and by detriment i don't just mean "he's bugging me, ew, so creepy!" i mean hurting people, either physically or emotionally. they don't wear any specific kind of clothes, they don't look any specific way. and it's usually something that sneaks out pretty stealthily, rather than sitting like a flashing light on their heads.

Predator hater...

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Post #: 109

RE: Predators - 7/16/2011 4:01:22 PM

xssve

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DecadentDesire

"Predator" is the preferred method for making a dominant a social outcast in the "scene". I would say it's primarily the result of herd-like social dynamics at work and less about actually protecting people. I've been on the receiving end on this label before by dominants who were threatened by me.

It's one of the many reasons the idea of going to a munch leaves a bad taste in my mouth and makes my skin crawl. When I was involved, I found the social atmosphere to be more akin to high school then an actual adult group. I've simply never seen anything like it in other social groups I have been a part of.

Cockblocking, in other words.

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Post #: 110

RE: Predators - 7/16/2011 4:20:18 PM

xssve

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's my contention that predators have the BEST social skills. They are great at appearing smooth and friendly, and are often charming.

This is mostly true, although there are also the ham-handed victims of too much testosterone and underdeveloped social skills - juicers for example (roid rage) - even Stanly Kowalski had a certain amount of charm.

But this is the type people tend to mistakenly diagnose in others all out of proportion to their statistical incidence, and any display of social aggression, which could be as simple as feeding her a line, risks getting you labeled in the cult of victimhood that America has become.

Nine time out of Ten nobody even notices the actual predators till the damage is done, and they are long in the wind.

I went at the bar last night, and witnessed no less than Three women go ballistic at half hearted passes (only one of them mine) - how the hell do people get dressed up and go to bars and not expect to get hit on? Handling that is also a social skill, and a lost one if you ask me - a pass can easily just be a conversation starter, it isn't necessarily a marriage proposal, i.e., it's not a yes or no question, "maybe" works just fine if you're remotely interested, if you aren't - ignore it.

Still, usually if a chick overreacts that way, I'm pretty sure she's not my type anyway, although it means I'll probably end up hooking up with a predator who knows what I want to hear.

< Message edited by xssve -- 7/16/2011 4:21:17 PM >

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RE: Predators - 7/16/2011 4:24:11 PM

Arpig

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Joined: 1/3/2006
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quote:

ok, save me the trouble of trying to find it online, what did he say and why did it fuck you up?

Here you go.... http://www.collarchat.com/m_3771081/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3771081

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Post #: 112

RE: Predators - 7/16/2011 4:59:35 PM

xssve

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

ORIGINAL: jennylandis

hi hannah,

thanks for the compliments :) for one, we need a clear definition of a predator ... if its someone who forcibly rapes women in dark alleys, then sure, that is completely wrong, but if we mean politicians who send naked pics of themselves to women on craigslist, i sympathize with them ...

and i understand where both of the types are coming from ... in a perfect world a person would get all the sex they want any time they want it ... but our world is not perfect

I think a major issue here is that people toss the term predator around when they shouldn't. A real true predator (sorry, sometimes I can't resist this shit) is very dangerous and poses an actual physical, emotional, and financial threat. They have developed an elegant veneer of charm that allows them to mimic emotion and act like everyone else.

Jerks, creeps and assholes are never charming and rarely dangerous.

I'd go further than that - labeling someone as a predator who hasn't actually done anything is itself a predatory act: some of the accomplished predators I know are very adept at playing the victim, and manipulating others into doing the damage for them, while they snicker from a safe distance - predation by proxy.

These are mostly women with issues, in my experience, but guys do the same thing, only substitute "slut" for "predator".

It's the rationale behind habeus corpus - bit trickier when it comes to informal accusations made behind your back however: trying to repudiate a rumor is like trying to unring a bell.

< Message edited by xssve -- 7/16/2011 5:00:58 PM >

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