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How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 3:28:29 PM

WhiteRadiance

Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
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Here is a question for both Dominants and submissives. Dom/mes, do you share your subs? Subs, do you serve your Master or Mistresses friends, and if so, in what capacity?

I do not know about anyone else here, but I quite often get mail from "subs" who want do anything for me (and my girlfriends) pleasure. lol Some submissives (term used loosly here) seem to want to "serve" anyone who is present. Is this commonly done? Who does it, and why?

I will allow my sub to serve my friends in a non-sexual capacity. Am I a minority? How do others feel about this issue?

Post #: 1

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 3:41:31 PM

Sab

Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline

No!

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God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 2

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 4:06:12 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

Yep. For instance, My daughter is making plans to get as much benefit as she can from her mom having a slave <laugh> At the very least, he'll clean her dorm room and do her laundry every week or so. My slave will be instructed to obey My daughter as he would Myself, within certain boundaries which I will make clear to both of them (after all, he is MY slave, and if she wants one so much she can go get her own, LOL). When it comes time for My mom to do planting or needs some work done in her (tiny) yard, I would have My slave assist her. When we go to the local dungeon, if My Domme or switch girlfriends want to play with My slave, singly or all of us together, that will be allowed, within My slave's limits of course. I also plan weekly "Pedicure Parties" where my (vanilla) friends all come and be served tea and refreshments by My slave and he will give them each foot massages, pedicures, manicures, whatever.

What is outlined above, however, would pretty much be it. I would not "loan" My slave out except under certain circumstances; for instance, if a friend had been ill for several days and her home needed cleaning, I would send him over to help out. But those would be isolated instances with a very particular need. After all, as I said above, he is MY slave, and I'm not going to wear him out by having him work for other people. And most certainly never in a sexual capacity.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 3

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 4:30:01 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

In terms of BDSM I have let Fox out to a very select group of people as a submissive or bottom -- I'm also careful about who I'd let him top but he's a picky boy so its rarely an issue either way.

In terms of grunt work, whenever he goes to an event with me and KinkyBooks.com he knows part of his job (a part he hates) is to help set-up the space and staff the cash register.

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(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 4

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 4:34:13 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

i am not shared with anyone, in any way. not even non sexual play/service, and i am not allowed to have anyone "assist" me either, as the one assisting most likely would derrive some pleasure out of it.

"Mine" is His reasoning "and no one elses"

_____________________________

"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 5

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 4:40:09 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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It happens. It's not terribly common but it's not uncommon either. Whether it's a sub expecting to make sure that drinks and plates are manages when guests are over, thus "service" the guests, or knowing that she will be used as a sexual party favor for all the guests...it happens.

In my relationships, everyone is free to date/fuck/love anyone they happen to want. However, if someone wants to take the place of "loaner" of the other, it gets discussed beforehand.

Like anything, take what works for you and leave the rest. Sharing and loaning slaves is pretty normal and not a big deal in my life.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 6

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 4:42:50 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

We share ours with our grand unmentionables, she waits on them hand and foot when they are here... lmao. Seriously though... NO. This is a closed poly family.

Jewel

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 7

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 4:47:50 PM

ginawithaB

Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

i am not shared with anyone, in any way. not even non sexual play/service, and i am not allowed to have anyone "assist" me either, as the one assisting most likely would derrive some pleasure out of it.

"Mine" is His reasoning "and no one elses"

Can you say more abt this? Why would it not be ok for another sub to assist you say in a pure service-oriented task? Why would the fact of her or him deriving pleasure from serving along with you not be desired? Trying to understand...not a challenge to either you or you Master's viewpoint

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 8

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 4:53:08 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

I do not share what is mine.

C

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(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 9

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 4:56:41 PM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ginawithaB

Can you say more abt this? Why would it not be ok for another sub to assist you say in a pure service-oriented task? Why would the fact of her or him deriving pleasure from serving along with you not be desired? Trying to understand...not a challenge to either you or you Master's viewpoint

well, this topic arose, because i DID ask for a service sub of my own [after about 20 of them asked me to ask my Master lol]

i am trying to put into words an accurate elaboration..... Master likes me to please Him. Only Him [of course unwitting third parties may always recieve my helpful tendancies, i am not forbade to be a good person lol] but.. Ok, so He has this thing about Mine. Thats about as much of an explanation i can give. Whats mine is His, and whats His is well, His, period.

i sent the inquiry His way so He may elaborate on the fact and i will be sure to post His answer.

< Message edited by mixielicous -- 5/17/2006 4:57:10 PM >

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"

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Post #: 10

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 4:57:33 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

Not sexually. As for the rest, it is in what capacity I want her to serve and what her/My limits are.

mixie, the Mine is well understood and practiced.

< Message edited by Wulfchyld -- 5/17/2006 4:59:38 PM >

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Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
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Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 11

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 5:10:39 PM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Lol, Scooter and Jewels oldest daughter (over 21) and their small grand littles domme me all the time; for candy, soda, icecream, to see the kittens and to color with them. I call it spoiling them much like i do my own.

Seriously though, no they do not. And i am free to bite anyone who tries.

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The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 12

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 5:29:46 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

My Owner shares me with people we like. He shares fully, both sexually and in an s&m sense. I'm lucky in that I'm (often) able to have some input on who we play with, because we prefer forming relationships with them, and it's easier if we both like 'em and not just tolerate them.

I understand what people are saying about not sharing what is the Owners, but his perspective is this--I -am- his. Nothing is going to change that, and no one is going to come close to abbridging that. If anything, sending me out to someone else reinforces how his I am, because even when playing with someone else, it's his rules before all else. That and he thinks it's hot to see me with other men/women. ~shrug~ t'weach their own.

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Post #: 13

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 5:36:21 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I understand what people are saying about not sharing what is the Owners, but his perspective is this--I -am- his. Nothing is going to change that, and no one is going to come close to abbridging that. If anything, sending me out to someone else reinforces how his I am, because even when playing with someone else, it's his rules before all else. That and he thinks it's hot to see me with other men/women. ~shrug~ t'weach their own.

Fully understand this perspective...and have no problem's with it; if I don't loan out my cds or books, why would I loan out what I value most? That's just the way I am wired...but whatever works for others, very cool.

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 14

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 5:44:14 PM

Slipstreme

Posts: 817
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline

I don't have subs really. I have play partners, and I have no problem with them also having other play partners.

When I actually seek a relationship with someone, I would still let them play with others, provided I know who the other people is. Basically the way I see it is, if I play around, why wouldn't I allow my sub to also play? However, I may require said play to be non-sexual (no penetration). As it is, I fool around non-sexually, but I'm still a virgin and am very protective over the possibility of getting sick. This would be the reason as well.

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(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 15

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 6:12:35 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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Not having a Dominant at this time,all I can say is that I would hope not.I would hope he would have the attitude of "Mine" as well...and that he would hold close to what is his....be well..Tempting

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 16

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 6:29:18 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

I serve only Himself. Like C up there, Himself doesn't share well with others. He has this philosophy.. if he won't let anyone drive his jag, when on Earth would he let someone drive his slave when he likes me better. lol

Now, if Himself were suddenly to change his mind and wanted to share me, it's perfectly fine with me, because in my mind, I'm still serving HIM if he were to tell me to serve someone else.

All that said, he allows me to Top and practice my S/m, but not to bottom to anyone. If he told me to quit doing that, I'd quit doing it.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 17

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 6:32:39 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I dont have a Dominant at this time either, but when I do find one, I would hope that we are on the same wave link, and not share at all.....

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Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 18

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 6:40:57 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Now, if Himself were suddenly to change his mind and wanted to share me, it's perfectly fine with me, because in my mind, I'm still serving HIM if he were to tell me to serve someone else.

That's exactly it, really, as I see it. Master is unlikely to share me, but will if he ever wants to. He has displayed me, but so far no touching. If he did decide to loan me to another, I would still be serving him by serving another, if that makes sense. I have a friend who is loaned out periodically. She sees it as a function of serving her Master, and does so proudly. I'm pretty sure I would feel the same.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 19

RE: How many Dominants share their subs - 5/17/2006 6:44:31 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

I love to share...and have often been the recipient of a Top that is willing to share.

I think it has much more to do with your personality than with any aspect of BDSM. Some people like to share, and can make up justifications for sharing. Some people don't like to share and make up their own justifications.

Taggard

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My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 20

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