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RE: Slave, Help me - 11/18/2011 5:46:59 AM   
MissKittyDeVine


Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline 		Ladies, read his journal entry dated today. I am now increasingly convinced that this is an abusive relationship, and seriously worried for the OP´s welfare.

Terry, you´re confusing emotional abuse with being dominant. The only reason you´re getting away with it is that you´ve worn your poor wife down over 14 years.

Any one of the ´bitches´ here, as you describe us in your journal, could kick your ass - Domme or sub, and we know you for the pathetic excuse for a man that you are.

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/18/2011 6:27:25 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If the op is able to sneak on the computer and read this thread, I hope she realizes that living like this, hating her life, is detrimental to her son. He will grow up believing that he should be abusive to his wife just like dear old daddy is. He knows that your marriage is in name only. Do you really want him to go to jail in a few years for abusing his girlfriend? Because by staying in this dysfunctional relationship, that is what will happen. You are teaching him all the wrong things.

I strongly urge you to stand up for your child and make the changes in your own life, before it's too late.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/18/2011 7:04:03 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine
Any one of the ´bitches´ here, as you describe us in your journal, could kick your ass - Domme or sub, and we know you for the pathetic excuse for a man that you are.


Here's the other thing. Many of us"bitches" are in successful D/s relationships. The fact that we're doing something that works, when he's doing something that doesn't work means that we might have some insight. But, he's too busy thumping his chest......

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/18/2011 7:25:17 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Very well said, Chatte.

Although I don't believe he has what it takes to be a "master" manipulator. He has already shown he can't really master anything, even his own compulsions.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/18/2011 7:36:03 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		All the nice stuff about his slave is gone from his profile too. Eep.

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/18/2011 7:53:05 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

This is my last post on this subject, I would like to thank these gentlemen, CRAZYML, XSSVE, and DARK STEVEN, for taking time from thier busy schedules to respond to my post and for thier useful comments and suggestions.

Thanks Guys,

Terry


Terry,

Lots of women, including me, were genuinely trying to be helpful and I find it very interesting that you only found the male posters helpful. I wonder what you would have thought of my advice had I not been so obviously female?

Male POV
quote:

I suggest changing this to a Dom/sub relationship. Ease into things. Let your Dom guide you into submission, finding what works and what doesn't, what buttons to press and which to avoid. After several months, see how well you're doing and make a joint decision to go further. Or not.


Female POV
quote:

Like many others, I suggest you step back, slow down, start with D/s, and get therapy with a kink-friendly counselor.

(in reply to yourMasterTerry)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/18/2011 7:57:52 AM   
orchid77


Posts: 125
Joined: 5/20/2011
Status: offline 		To the OP: DV Hotline by phone at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or (206) 787-3224 (Video Phone Only for Deaf Callers). Be Safe!


(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/18/2011 8:03:43 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		*FR*
...and just wanted to say one thing. I lost my sex drive after the birth of my first child. Not because of post partum depression, but because my husband was an ass. He took what he wanted in bed without any regard for my desires. His needs always came first, before me, before our children. He was a sex addict, a sadist, and it was always his way unless I could stand more than 4 hours of constant yelling in my face.
I stayed married for as long as I could take it until he crossed one too many lines. I don't know where the last line is for the OP but I hope she finds it fast.


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/19/2011 7:53:39 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		Well you do jump to an awful lot of conclusions, and the net result of that is that you no longer have any input at all.

It wasn't at all clear to me whether she had a problem with the whole concept of the thing itself, or him in particular as a vehicle of it.

A submissive on here once told me that she doesn't "recruit", because most people into WIIWD are already leaning that way, and you really can't tell how somebody who isn't is going to react, and I happen to agree with that, and to that end, suggest to Terry that if she really isn't getting onto this, its on you, and you're really just taking advantage of somebody in a difficult situation - if you're goal is to leave them begging for more then you better have the skills to leave them begging for more, that is the demonstration of mastery, if she can walk away, and doesn't, otherwise, it's coercion, not mastery.

Happens every day of course, lot's of people trapped in loveless marriages, chained to kids, jobs they hate, etc., but you have control over this one, you can make her happy or make her miserable, but if it's the latter then accusations of abuse are going to arise, if you don't like her I have to wonder about your motivation in knocking her up in the first place, there's no control like self-control.

Overall, when I questioned a sub in here whose dom beat her bad enough to put her into the hospital, pimped her out and loaned her out for gangbangs, all of which started when she was underage and his legal ward and legally incapable of consent, I got accused of being uptight and not "respecting their dynamic", etc., blah, blah, called all kinds of names, and generally abused by the forum, who were going through some sort of Id release phase or something.

In this case, I sense she has a problem with the whole business, not just the actions of her husband, i.e., it just isn't her bag to begin with, but as I say, whether, in the end, she willingly submits or does it because she thinks she has no alternatives is, to a large extent, on him, nor is it necessarily a bad place draw the line between good dirty fun and abuse, but it's her call, not yours.



(in reply to fragilepieces)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/19/2011 8:08:47 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		In short, PE implies an exchange - the sado-maso relationship is an interplay in which both parties get what they need - if you need a masochist you have to unlock her inner masochistand that rewuires a certian degree of empathy, in fact it rewuires empathy to be able to dom at all.

A sadist is only half of a dyad, it takes two to tango, and lacking empathy might make you a better sadist, but it doesn't make you a better dom, it makes you a sadistic psycho.

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/19/2011 10:38:08 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

As he's unaware that you entered into the agreement/relationship *feeling obligated* or that you *had no choice...
Why does HE think you did it then?

Could you expand on this part.....* I am not a masochist, nor have I ever in my entire life had a desire or fantasy about being a slave, but here I am.*
WHY are you there?

WHY did you do this--->* I signed up for 24/7/365 slavery, there are no limits and no time restrictions. Slavery is something that is important to him, and I promised to always submit, to never argue, and to do whatever whenever without thought or hesitation, I promised him complete and total control of everything,*

What were you expecting when you did the above?

How long have you known him?

agirl



There were too many questions to have said anything at all about the first post here so i didn't.

I suppose you both will find your own nirvana with the situation that you both chose.

agirl



_____________________________

See how easy it can be?

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/20/2011 6:41:04 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		Goes through phases around here, give it a month or Two, we'll be pondering the merits of necrophillic bestiality.

(in reply to yourMasterTerry)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/20/2011 2:30:02 PM   
yourMasterTerry


Posts: 14
Joined: 4/15/2011
Status: offline 		Well I see that I was wrong to make my last post, I am going back on my word to not post anymore, I am sure that a few of you will want to beat me up about it, and so be it.

In my journal entry dated November 18, I said, “how easy it is to piss off some of you bitches”. Now this means that not all but a few are easily pissed off and while reviewing this journal entry I realized that I mistakenly included all the female poster’s in the “bitches” category, and I must apologize to the ladies that made posts (just so you know when I use the word “lady” I mean that she is a polite dignified woman). I AM SORRY!

I also want to apologize to and offer a thank you to; Littlewonder, Lelloy, LadyHibiscus, Tolovetolaugh, LafayetteLady, poise, Osidegirl – Deranged, Alecta, Anniezz338, Fragilepieces, Agirl, Winspiritsbaby, And Baroana, all of you were trying to be helpful to my wife/slave by giving her things to think about.

I also want to apologize to and offer a thank you to; Stellauk, Tazzygirl, Xssve, and angelikaJ for actually trying to answer the questions that my wife/slave have.

I also want to apologize to and offer a thank you and to tell you how much I appreciate what you have said and have done by offering a hand in friendship to my wife/slave; Winspiritsbaby, SassyBird, Subsfaith.

If you have not figured it out by now, I was a little pissed off when I only thanked the men that made helpful comments and suggestions, because, 5 women were just being a @#$%&, and one special person that started with name calling I have left for last, I and others surely agree with your description of yourself as indecent


< Message edited by yourMasterTerry -- 11/20/2011 2:32:13 PM >

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/20/2011 2:44:52 PM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		You left me out!

_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to yourMasterTerry)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/20/2011 2:49:15 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/20/2011 2:53:52 PM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		Ho..ly...fuck. I just realized..MY name says indecent next to it. Does that mean..no. No ways.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/20/2011 3:07:14 PM   
MissKittyDeVine


Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Ho..ly...fuck. I just realized..MY name says indecent next to it. Does that mean..no. No ways.


It could be worse. Terry´s a vanilla

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/20/2011 3:08:21 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine


quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Ho..ly...fuck. I just realized..MY name says indecent next to it. Does that mean..no. No ways.


It could be worse. Terry´s a vanilla


ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/20/2011 3:11:25 PM   
MissKittyDeVine


Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline 		When men like Terry call you a bitch, I take it as a supreme compliment. Anyone want to join my Bitch Club? Fornica, you are automatically enrolled.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Way.....oh yeah way !!

Before he had names in there, specifically calling some of us bitches. Then he took them out, sneaky weasel !! You were the uber bitch, Fornica.

BTW, IMO, that last post of his is an attempt at pure manipulation.

Terry, sweetie, we aren't your wife. We is bitches (remember?) seeing through your crap is easy.


(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Slave, Help me - 11/20/2011 3:22:55 PM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline 		awww, my name was in there? <blushes wildly>
Thanks Kitty, I'll bring spinach dip.
It's funny cuz his wifeslaveperson has viewed my profile like a bizillion times.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 100
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