seababy -> RE: Name who you would like to rape on campus (12/23/2011 1:20:42 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Snort I was stunned by the new stats that are creating headlines. I discussed this with several women who I know well, and was even more stunned to find that almost HALF of them said they had been subjected to or narrowly avoided rape when they were in their teens or twenties. (and yes, we are old enough and close enough to have this kind of discussion) GAH! That leaves me with a knot in my stomach. My friends are reg'lar, got their shit together women who don't engage in "high risk asking for it bullshit" activities. Yeah, don't flame for that remark, but I always assumed (apparently dumbshittingly) that rape was more likely when you had two drunk people who were all over each other until a sudden "no" got ignored. Not an excuse, just figured it was higher risk. Now I just gotta figure otherwise. On the other side, I also know a couple of guys who have been accused of rape and battery by ex girlfriends as payback for the breakup. One was drinking beer in my living room at the precise moment this supposedly happened. Men aren't the only fucked up humans... So now I'm worried. I have a statistically significant tendency to attract friends who get in harms way more than the norm. What's wrong with me? statistically significant tendency to attract friends who get in harms way more than the norm No I don't think so. I avoid going to clubs and pubs because of the groping, it sucks the fun out of the night for me. Most sexual assaults that I have experienced have been at my place of work. Its a bit of a shock when someone you have worked with for years who you have never even had a sexual conversation with suddenly grabs you and you end up struggling to get away while he is giving you a pelvic grind, groping you and slobbering over your neck. No risk behaviour involved and even now years later I can't see any red flags I should have noticed. One incident of sexual harrassment (not assault) I was working as a tour guide and my boss was often making comments about my body to other crew in front of me like descriptions of what he thought my nipples look like. It finally ended shortly after when he ripped my bikini top off in front of a group of guys that were doing the boat tour that day. I'm pretty shy and neither promiscous or an exhibitionist and it was humilating and distressing. I reported the incident and they didn't "fire" me just gave me no more hours (its was a casual position). I could go on, there were other incidences, two of them much more serious in nature. I spoke to my mum about it once and her comment was "Thats just what happens to women". The only stranger assault thats ever ocurred was in broad daylight in an upmarket shop where a guy came up behind me and lifted me off the ground with one hand between my legs and one grabbing a breast. As to your comment What's wrong with me? I use to ask myself that. Now older and a little wiser I am asking whats wrong with society? When I see comments about over reporting it gets an eyeroll from me. These are not events that I feel comfortable discussing with strangers on a forum but some comments from other posters on this thread have me seriously worried. I look at my nieces and they are sweet young people I hope they have a safer experience of the world.
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