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ORIGINAL: BootyBoy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

This is a spin off from another thread.

1) I'm married and seeking. Some people find that unacceptable. I'm comfortable with that, and with their holding the view that what I do is dishonest. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.

2) Changing tack, spanking is - in some states and some countries, viewed as assault.

3) I have the impression that most people here are - at the very least - discreet - about their bdsm activities in their vanilla activities. I certainly am.

So - I'm not having a go at anyone here - I'm asking out of curiousity - where is "honest" for you? If bdsm is fine, why do we appear to need to hide it? And if we need to hide it, does that not imply a moral conundrum? Are all or any of the above examples "right" or "wrong" and where is the line for you?

1) The first moral question isn't too hard to decipher. It's the basic morality of an honored contract. If people do not honor (or are not held to honor) such contracts, then there could be no civilization. There would be no laws, because they would change every day. There would be no trade or business, because most of the time, when you payed or gave a service, the other party would just stiff you. Obviously, the most basic level of morality is to keep your word. Without that, there is nothing. Nobody is forcing people to get married, but once a person IS married then they should honor that contract until it is nullified.

2) Name the country? Name the State? To my knowledge, spanking is only seen as assault, if it is injurious and non-consensual.

3) As far as hiding BDSM, or being discreet about it, this does not imply a feeling of guilt at doing something wrong. You may "hide" how much money you make, for many reasons--none of them being because it's wrong to make as much money as you do. You may "hide" your love watching Barney the dinosaur. You may not tell anybody that your pajamas have footsies sewn on. None of these things are immoral.

But on a more practical level, you may not fancy trying to explain BDSM to your grandmother, or your boss, or your childhood doctor. it may not be wrong, but people make choices every day what they will tell certain people and what they will not. That doesn't imply guilt, but rather, expediency. If I don't wish to explain all of my fetishes to my mom, or aunt, or co-workers, then that's OK. I can make choices that make that eventuality much less likely. (Like not plastering my mug all across the Internet) Other people don't have the same concerns and so can choose differently, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with morality.

So, if you were trying to use this as some kind of conditional ethics primer, then you are far off base.

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ORIGINAL: risktaker9

1. Wrong.
2. Right, if I consent to it.
3. Yes, I am discreet as it's no one's business what i do in private.

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ORIGINAL: Whenready
. . . I'm asking out of curiousity - where is "honest" for you? If bdsm is fine, why do we appear to need to hide it? And if we need to hide it, does that not imply a moral conundrum? Are all or any of the above examples "right" or "wrong" and where is the line for you? Thoughts?

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So - I'm not having a go at anyone here - I'm asking out of curiousity - where is "honest" for you? If bdsm is fine, why do we appear to need to hide it? And if we need to hide it, does that not imply a moral conundrum? Are all or any of the above examples "right" or "wrong" and where is the line for you? Thoughts?

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ORIGINAL: Whenready

Dark Steven hit the "circumstances" nail on the head. (Scratch your itch; I don't want to know) - and I go along with his "sorta ok". So yes, I'm wrong in what I do, but it's a wrong I can live with - and she can live with - and I fully accept its one others can't.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready
1) I'm married and seeking. Some people find that unacceptable. I'm comfortable with that, and with their holding the view that what I do is dishonest. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.

2) Changing tack, spanking is - in some states and some countries, viewed as assault.

3) I have the impression that most people here are - at the very least - discreet - about their bdsm activities in their vanilla activities. I certainly am.

So - I'm not having a go at anyone here - I'm asking out of curiousity - where is "honest" for you? If bdsm is fine, why do we appear to need to hide it? And if we need to hide it, does that not imply a moral conundrum? Are all or any of the above examples "right" or "wrong" and where is the line for you? Thoughts?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

This is a spin off from another thread.

1) I'm married and seeking. Some people find that unacceptable. I'm comfortable with that, and with their holding the view that what I do is dishonest. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.

2) Changing tack, spanking is - in some states and some countries, viewed as assault.

3) I have the impression that most people here are - at the very least - discreet - about their bdsm activities in their vanilla activities. I certainly am.

So - I'm not having a go at anyone here - I'm asking out of curiousity - where is "honest" for you? If bdsm is fine, why do we appear to need to hide it? And if we need to hide it, does that not imply a moral conundrum? Are all or any of the above examples "right" or "wrong" and where is the line for you? Thoughts?

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ORIGINAL: Whenready
So - I'm not having a go at anyone here - I'm asking out of curiousity - where is "honest" for you?

I don't know if I can express what "honest" is as a hard and fast rule.  I will do you the justice to say: I think we are all dishonest at various times, and to various degrees, in our lives, by making choices about which truths we express and which we hide, even from ourselves.  That said, cheating on a spouse crosses over a line with me.

If bdsm is fine, why do we appear to need to hide it?

I don't see myself as "hiding" my involvement with BDSM.  I think if most anyone directly asked me about it, I would give an honest answer.  It's just that I don't go around broadcasting the fact.  I'm an atheist too, and I don't advertise that fact either.  It has less to do with having something to hide, and more to do with the fact that it's personal, and in most cases, nobody else's business.

And if we need to hide it, does that not imply a moral conundrum?

Depends on the reason for hiding it.  I think the same applies to anything that we hide.

Are all or any of the above examples "right" or "wrong" and where is the line for you?

See above.

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ORIGINAL: BootyBoy

@xxblushesxx

Ha! I would never have guessed that you loved Barney!
Was it sadism or masochism that drove you to it? :-)

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Oh, and would you care if she's been sleeping with your best friend for the past 6 months.

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But since he's willing to cheat, is it a jump to say he might be willing to lie to get what he wants?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

This is a spin off from another thread.

1) I'm married and seeking. Some people find that unacceptable. I'm comfortable with that, and with their holding the view that what I do is dishonest. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.

2) Changing tack, spanking is - in some states and some countries, viewed as assault.

3) I have the impression that most people here are - at the very least - discreet - about their bdsm activities in their vanilla activities. I certainly am.

So - I'm not having a go at anyone here - I'm asking out of curiousity - where is "honest" for you? If bdsm is fine, why do we appear to need to hide it? And if we need to hide it, does that not imply a moral conundrum? Are all or any of the above examples "right" or "wrong" and where is the line for you? Thoughts?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready


Dark Steven hit the "circumstances" nail on the head. (Scratch your itch; I don't want to know) - and I go along with his "sorta ok". So yes, I'm wrong in what I do, but it's a wrong I can live with - and she can live with - and I fully accept its one others can't.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

This is a spin off from another thread.

1) I'm married and seeking. Some people find that unacceptable. I'm comfortable with that, and with their holding the view that what I do is dishonest. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.

2) Changing tack, spanking is - in some states and some countries, viewed as assault.

3) I have the impression that most people here are - at the very least - discreet - about their bdsm activities in their vanilla activities. I certainly am.

So - I'm not having a go at anyone here - I'm asking out of curiousity - where is "honest" for you? If bdsm is fine, why do we appear to need to hide it? And if we need to hide it, does that not imply a moral conundrum? Are all or any of the above examples "right" or "wrong" and where is the line for you? Thoughts?