RE: Morals and values

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Morals and values

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Morals and values

Page: << < prev 2 3 4 5 [6]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Morals and values - 1/28/2012 7:23:49 PM

njlauren

Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

OP,

If you are married and seeking IMO that is YOUR business and I really could care less. I would not choose to be with someone who was married even if the other person knew about me; that is my choice. If my partner decided to be with someone else besides me I hope he would care enough about me and our relationship to let me know.

Changing tack===anal sex is illegal in many states but if I want booty sex I am probably going to have booty sex.

I am very discrete about my sex life and personally I feel that BDSM is very sexual. I am not going to tell my co-workers that my partner and I had intercourse the night before, and I am certainly not about to tell them he tied me up and spanked me. People assume we have sex because we are a couple but the details of that are intimate and I am not going to tell people. I am not hiding it---it simply is no one's business. He is the Dominant in the relationship and I don't need to tell anyone that either. I am not hiding that nor am I flaunting it either.

Anal sex is not illegal, with the Lawrence decision the Supreme Court threw out any right of states or localities to regulate consensual private behavior (as much as the religious droolers would like to), you can't be arrested for anal sex or oral sex or whatever unless it is non consensual or in a public place:).

There is a difference between #1 and #2 and #3, #1 involves another person you promised to be faithful to, and going outside violates that, it is dishonest and non consensual since the spouse doesn't know. #2 and #3 are someone's own business, with bd/sm play there unfortunately are consequences to bd/smk play being known, even in this day and age, in most places you could be fired for being in an alt scene, quite legally, and there are prosecutors and law enforcement types, both hard right and throwbacks to 1970's feminism, who claim that someone can't consent to bd/sm play and it is 'abuse' (fortunately that is less and less true, but it is still a problem, friend of mine belongs to a group called the Coaltion for Sexual Freedom that spends a lot of time with this). The morality there is in other people's eyes, based on outmoded pronouncements generally from religion, big difference, in that with #2 and #3 no one is harmed, other then the puritans who can't stand the thought somewhere, someone is having fun:)

(in reply to fragilepieces)

Profile

Post #: 101

RE: Morals and values - 1/28/2012 9:43:40 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

~FR~

I've been the cheatee and the cheater, although this was many years ago. I decided, at the age of 25 that I would no longer be involved with someone if there was cheating involved, and that I would no longer cheat. That was 24 yrs ago and I still stick to it. But I've also been lied to and only told later that *oops* I'm married but I didn't want to tell you because I knew you wouldn't go out with me. I can say that those relationships ended right then and there. It had nothing to do with BDSM or D/s, I didn't enter into that until I was 41. When I was told I was most likely submissive, did a lot of research on my own and indeed, I was. What I consider myself to be is a submissive with a slave's heart.

I give my all into a relationship, my trust being the most important to me. I expect the same back along with loyalty, honesty, integrity. If I can't have that then how can I trust that I'm safe in the hands of the Dom I entrust my entire being to?

I'm tired of the lies told by men (and yes, I know women do the same) that they're separated and then find out well, it's not official yet. I still live in the same house. O yeah, we share the same bed. Well, no she doesn't know, she wouldn't understand. Same bed, but she's a cold fish and wants nothing to do with sex. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I want a man who's going to be as honest with me as I am with him. One who'll trust that I'll be loyal (read monogamous) as I trust he'll be with me.

I don't really care what others do, and it's none of their business what goes on in my bedroom or with the man who'll be my partner. But I won't be a party to someone who can't be honest with his original partner. It's just not who I am. Because if he can't be honest with her, then I can't trust him to be honest with me. Even is given the okay by her, it's still wrong to me, but that's JMHO. Would she wonder where he is on the nights he doesn't come home from work? Would it turn her into a wreck knowing he's out with me? Just because she says okay doesn't mean she agrees with it. She just may want to keep the marriage intact for whatever her reasons are. I've been there, I've agreed to it, I know what happened to my self-esteem. I won't do it to another woman.

Women are pitted against women, and it should be the opposite. We should respect ourselves as females and be on the same page, not letting some man come between us, at any time. It's happened over all the years since Lawd knows when. We're supposed to be a more educated society yet we seem to have regressed. I don't have the answers, I wish I did. But then no one has all the answers, just a lot of questions that we muddle through in our day to day lives. We love, laugh, live, some of us have children, at the end, well, we all pass on. And we do the best in the middle to live our lives to the best of our abilities.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

(in reply to njlauren)

Profile

Post #: 102

RE: Morals and values - 2/9/2012 10:13:46 PM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BootyBoy
@xxblushesxx
Ha! I would never have guessed that you loved Barney!
Was it sadism or masochism that drove you to it? :-)

Snort Laughs! I'm sure I missed the picture, and now it's too late. Damn it!

M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to BootyBoy)

Profile

Post #: 103

RE: Morals and values - 2/10/2012 1:03:21 AM

MrBukani

Posts: 1920
Joined: 4/18/2010
Status: offline

I used to be very open about it on the verge I would preach it publicly in the real/regular world(what the so called community calls vanilla, I think this term is a bit moronic but hey what the hell right?).
I just have little to hide and love to have a laugh at work.
I stopped doing it because its common now and too many dumbfucks seem to join in.

< Message edited by MrBukani -- 2/10/2012 1:05:02 AM >

(in reply to Ishtarr)

Profile

Post #: 104