misogyny in BDSM

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

misogyny in BDSM

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> misogyny in BDSM

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 9:05:52 PM

Reikm

Posts: 23
Joined: 5/2/2012
Status: offline

I have to say its really in your face all the time isn't it... what is with that?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 9:18:53 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

Some people love to be hated... and some people love to hate. Then again, I assure you that hatred of men is also well expressed in society. For Me...I hate everybody.. (just some people less than others). LOL

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to Reikm)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 9:31:06 PM

CarolBC

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/19/2012
Status: offline

Can't quite agree...and can't quite contemplate it without thinking about all the misandry (both here and in our society) that seems to go utterly unnoticed.

_____________________________

I prefer to defer.

Married to JeffBC...but don't assume we think the same. Actually, you should assume we really DON'T think the same.

(in reply to Reikm)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 9:37:57 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reikm
I have to say its really in your face all the time isn't it... what is with that?

Huh? No actually. I can't say that I've seen a ton of misogyny in either online BDSM or real life. I'd actually say that I see less in BDSM than in the general population. Out of curiosity, what are you referring to? Can you give an example?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Reikm)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 9:42:15 PM

Blankpain

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/20/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reikm
I have to say its really in your face all the time isn't it... what is with that?

Not in my face. Quite the opposite.

What's happening in your life that you feel this way?

(in reply to Reikm)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 10:10:38 PM

Reikm

Posts: 23
Joined: 5/2/2012
Status: offline

Personal observation so far... Ill wait till I have more experience in the community though before discussing it , I apologize for the broad statement.

(in reply to Blankpain)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 10:31:47 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

So was that just a drive-by "men are pigs" post? What are these personal observations you're talking about? Did some asshat just send you a "kneel bitch" cmail?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Reikm)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 10:36:10 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

I actually have to agree with the OP -

Since I read a lot of the Male Dominant/Master profiles, there is more than a large amount of profiles that read basically of just using / trashing / treating you like a piece of shit and there will be no feelings involved - to female subs. They dont even identify that these are human beings that theyre talking about.

Without a doubt to leave the person worse for wear than they originally found them.

Not sure how high their success rate is though.

I find it disgusting.

< Message edited by JanahX -- 5/7/2012 11:14:06 PM >

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to Reikm)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 10:48:01 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I see a fair proportion of profiles that do the "all women are worthless fuckmeat" thing. They make me roll my eyes, but I don't see it as misogyny. I see it as guys who read far too much porn and think this is how submissive women want to be treated. Basically, they're idiots.

However there are a few that actually creep me out - guys who try to justify why women are 'born to serve' with out of context scientific/academic quotes and (quite often) biblical quotes.

But on the flip side, I see similar crap coming from the female "domme" side of things.

*shrugs*

people are people. This site has its fair share of fuckwits and social retards, just like the real world.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to JanahX)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 11:14:25 PM

kitkat105

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline

Maybe. I sort of agree with JanahX.. but in a way, more fool the submissives who actually get with these "men."

There is a fine line between verbal humiliation and misogyny.

_____________________________

"WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS!"

Odeen's spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

Secretary - ProSubs"R"Us

(in reply to myotherself)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 11:19:15 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

I have NO DOUBT that many of these men if ever in the same room as them and you said something that they considered out of line - they would not beat you to discipline you - they would be the shit out of you out of pure anger.

I get a LOT of anger filled messages when I in one way or another reject proposals from some of these guys. Calling me a cunt, bitch, whore, - you name it. I wish I could post some of these messages here - but alas- against TOS. Some of them are unreal, and I have no doubt that if I were in the same room as some of them, I would be beaten within an inch of my life.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to kitkat105)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/7/2012 11:37:02 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

Eh... one person’s "misogynist" is another person’s dream-come-true. Water finds its own level. (shrugs)

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Reikm)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/8/2012 1:14:17 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

-fr-

My husband was recently called a misogynist by a colleague (semi-joking) after he let slip that he had left me with a list of chores to get done while he was at work. I think some people misunderstand the term.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/8/2012 2:24:01 AM

DarqueMirror

Posts: 1262
Joined: 3/21/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX
Since I read a lot of the Male Dominant/Master profiles, there is more than a large amount of profiles that read basically of just using / trashing / treating you like a piece of shit and there will be no feelings involved - to female subs.

What about all the "Dommes" who make no secret of viewing submissive me as wallets with legs?

The simple answer is you can find misogyny, misandry, or misanthropy wherever you choose to seek it out.

(in reply to JanahX)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/8/2012 4:22:11 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarqueMirror

The simple answer is you can find misogyny, misandry, or misanthropy wherever you choose to seek it out.

I think this.

Certainly there are individuals that spew venom of one gender or the other. They are individuals and not representative of a group as a whole.

Then again, I am also of the belief that you will nearly always see whatever it is you are looking for. If something gets your attention/energy, it will thrive. Without energy, it will wither and die.

On here, we've had obvious posters from both sides of the gender battle. Their venom gets attention and feeds their negative spewage. On here, it's usually thinly disguised in either some sort of 'natural order' bullshit, or some new wave religioun/life style. I don't give a flying donut fuck how individuals wish to live their lives but when they start generalizing it as the correct way for ALL, that's when they make a mockery of themselves and their chosen lifestyle. Much like most religiouns actually.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DarqueMirror)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/8/2012 4:33:19 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reikm

I have to say its really in your face all the time isn't it... what is with that?

You're new here, female, and your pic says you're sexy & cute. You never stood a chance - you be 'light', jerks and wankers be bugs a rushin'....

This is where you learn about filtering and thickening your skin; to see past the blow-hards and look for what attracts *you*! Waaaaay more Doms than fem/subs here, and Nature's balance says that's just plain impossible.

Some say the "real-deal" Doms aren't afraid to participate in public lifestyle discussions, like these Boards. It's not like the Internet doesn't still allow you the comfort of anonymity. Certainly those "bugs" make the most of it....

Anyway, welcome aboard. :)

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Reikm)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/8/2012 4:54:41 AM

LikesItRoughUK

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/15/2011
Status: offline

Yeah, there's plenty of misandry too. Have you not seen all of the "findomme" profiles?

If the subs actually go along with it though I guess it's heir own stupid fault.

(in reply to CarolBC)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/8/2012 5:04:00 AM

nequam

Posts: 20
Joined: 5/2/2012
Status: offline

Many post on their profile what they want the relationship to end up looking like, to outsiders. Many post what they think the other wants to hear. Some do believe what they are saying. New people tend to see something written and judge it not understanding the intricacies of the D/s-M/s dynamic. What can look like mysogany to a new person, is a pretty standard relationship 3 years old to others.

At the end of the day, if it doesn't float your boat, don't get in. Be glad you aren't with them and move on.

(in reply to Focus50)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/8/2012 5:04:55 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Replying to no one in particular:

Although I agree, to a certain extent, the world you see is the one you expect to find, there is real misogyny, misandry, and misanthropy lurking out there to a *very* surprising degree.

In my world, it has nothing to do with BDSM, and everything to do with how people still allow themselves to think.

I used to work for a large engineering school near the university here. Both faculty and student ratio was approx. 85% male to 15% female. The bias against females was so rampant that all faculty and senior admins had to attend a 3 day seminar on gender equality.

BTW: This had nothing to do with the university environment (which in most non-engineering schools is much more non-biased). How do I know this? I used to handle the new student orientation, and you should have seen the looks on the males' faces when they saw the person who was telling them what to do was FEMALE.

Now, I'm going to put it out there for discussion that people who are good at science and physics and math *tend* to have a rather rigid mindset in some ways. It is certainly not an absolute.

Also, I would not be basing much of my thinking on this subject on what anyone has in an online profile. There is so much deceit going on in the online arena, it's a separate sub-culture from the rest of the BDSM community at large. Admittedly, one that has not been well studied from a sociological point of view and is, therefore, little understood.

_____________________________

(in reply to Focus50)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: misogyny in BDSM - 5/8/2012 5:45:54 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I have found no misogyny in BDSM when I go to play parties or munches. I suspect that Reikm is referring to the weenies that lurk online and have no clue what being a Dom actually entails, so they send the typical "Kneel, bitch!" commands to strangers. Of course, anyone doing that would be overlooking the fact that you're a lesbian right off the bat.

Reikm, you live in Florida. Florida and Michigan seem to have disproportionate amounts of kink activity. Go to local activities, especially TNG activities, and meet people.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Profile

Post #: 20