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RE: Questions and advice - 6/12/2012 3:25:00 AM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline

I like the phrase, "you are to obey me within reason." I hear that often from the person, I am currently attached to. I like that because honestly, I am never going to jepordize my life (job, family, do something illegal) for any Dom.

(in reply to Stephanie72)

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Post #: 141

RE: Questions and advice - 6/12/2012 3:42:41 AM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephanie72

Well none of it really matters any more at this point. Too much has happened since i posted this question and now the relationship is completely over. i told Master about the post and what everyone hadi said and how everyone here said that he was wrong and i should not have to do these things. He came in and read all of the posts and siad i would not have to make a decision as to whether or not i would obey orders. He would make the decision himself. He called off the wedding amd told my parents that it had been called off.

As to what many of you were saying. Many of your suggestions while good could not happen the way you were saying due to conflicting hours. We have completely different days off. He asked me some questions that none of you bothered to address. How can i be a submissive if i only do what i want, when and where i want? The only places that i am ever at is either at home or at work. We have 2 week-ends a month where we are both off and i had him promise me years ago that we would not do any of this on our days together since we had so little time together and it was to be our time, just for us.

Now my parents are completely mad at me. Many of our friends don't understand what happened and this isn't something i can tell them about. Wedding gifts have to be returned. i won't ever get married, i won't ever be able to have children. i wish i had never asked that question.

You blame everyone on the message board for this? ROFLMAO!!!!!! Way to go!!!!!!

(in reply to Stephanie72)

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Post #: 142

RE: Questions and advice - 6/12/2012 7:23:33 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Oh definately after 16 years, she should have at least been making 16 and hour, and could have rented something small like a studio. Add to that him moving to be near her and them not moving in together? That's a bit odd.

Also odd? She seemed to be working some extremely long hours for a government worker.

I worked a county job in PA and I wasn't there for 16 years and I was making $17 an hour by the time I left.

And yeah, the hours are off. Government jobs of any kind are extremely strict about time off and overtime due to laws and unions.

I'm sorry but if working a government job for that long, she's probably making more close to $20 an hour unless she's a janitor and even then, she's making at least $15 an hr.

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Nothing has changed
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(in reply to LafayetteLady)

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Post #: 143

RE: Questions and advice - 6/12/2012 10:34:43 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
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We might have each understood what she said in a different way. I didn't take during work hours to mean at work or with a coworker. I do agree with you about everything else though and what burnkitty quoted pointed out something else that really bothered me.....the drama queen as you called it. "i won't ever get married, i won't ever be able to have children" sounds to me like something a heartbroken teenager would say, not a grown adult that is suppsed to be 39 years old. But again I might be seeing it differently than other people do. I would still like to know if she is real how her race changed though hahahaha.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

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Post #: 144

RE: Questions and advice - 6/12/2012 11:40:43 AM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

Stephanie72, I only read your original post and not the rest of the thread. Am a night owl and just woke up, my eyes are still fuzzy, and I only came here to check my mail but saw this thread in the scroll.

I. Would. NEVER. Force. MY. slave. To ruin his reputation and destabilize him financially. Especially not to prove the depth of his submission to me. Dominance implies taking responsibility, not just enjoying all the fun kinky stuff.

quote:

What i want to know is this. Am i obligated to obey his orders if i am uncomfortable with them even though i knew about this from the beginning and have repeatedly promised to obey every order whether i like it or not?

This is not a matter of submission, but one of survival. Is he prepared to take financial responsibility for you if you are fired and cannot find another job? Is he prepared to pony up with the cash you lose upon retirement as well as any other benefits you may lose by obeying his orders? When you agreed to obey, you thought you could trust him not to make you get fired from your job while following his orders...or else this would have sent up major red flags early on. I hate to say this but his demand sounds either stupid or crazy. I am not saying the word crazy lightly...several people I love require meds to live a normal life and sometimes the meds need adjusting or they go completely off the wall. IMHO, your Dom has issues if he is demanding this from you.

quote:

Am i the one in control and taking control away from him?

If I pressured my slave to do something like that, I would expect him to turn to my mother or sister to have my sanity checked out by a professional. I would consider this as part of the service I demand from him. I do not need psych meds, but if I did, my slave had better have the balls to "defy" me and take control if they stopped working and I thought I was a Prophet or something. Last October when I had dozens of blood clots hit my lungs, my boy took over everything for me. Even when he was bathing me in my hospital bed and leaving me to go to my ATM to take my money out to pay my bills...he was serving me. Every Dom can fall on their arse at one time or another and might need their submissive to "take control", even "away from him/us". This does not make the submissive any LESS.

You are having to defend yourself from serious financial harm. IMHO, you should not be forced into this position.

quote:

Is the saying that "without obedience there is no submission"really true?

...and if you had a kid and your Dominant required you to drown it, you wouldn't be a true submissive unless you obeyed? Without good leadership, there is no Dominance, that's my answer to that quote.

quote:

Do you think i should give in and obey his orders about having sex with other men during work hours even if i am uncomfortable with it?

IMHO, after six years together...I cannot imagine your having to prove your submission to him by risking your job and your reputation. I would also be very uncomfortable with his expecting you to have unsafe sex with men of his choice, even if you like it and find it hawt. (I have a nephew who is dying from AIDS, so...be careful.)

(in reply to Stephanie72)

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Post #: 145

RE: Questions and advice - 6/14/2012 1:27:17 PM

AVegasMaster

Posts: 119
Joined: 8/2/2010
Status: offline

This is a personal thing- it seems the situation is not right for you.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 146