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Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a tool... - 12/6/2012 10:14:37 PM   
Masterfor1sub


Posts: 30
Joined: 10/14/2012
Status: offline 		I don't want this to be a solicitation to view my profile, but I would like some opinions on it.

I tried my best to make sure that I was very clear with what I was looking for. I know it's not at all everyone's cup of tea, but I guess that's why I felt i had to lay it out there it in the first place.

I dont want my profile to:
be unnecessarily abusive to passers-by
make me look like i'm in some sort of power trip
make me look uncaring

I do want my profile to:
give off a strong, not give off a weak vibe, one that entices people looking for confidence
explain fully what I'm looking for without apology
be inviting

I have had absolutely zero unsolicited messages. I know the profile is pretty new, but it's my understanding that new profiles are hit more than older ones.

Thank you for any help you can provide.

< Message edited by Masterfor1sub -- 12/6/2012 10:16:06 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/6/2012 10:45:42 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterfor1sub

I have had absolutely zero unsolicited messages. I know the profile is pretty new, but it's my understanding that new profiles are hit more than older ones.



Sorry, you got that wrong. That's true for women - they get inundated. But men have to take the initiative online.

To be honest, your profile struck me as someone with little to no experience trying to define the whole relationship by the book.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/6/2012 10:49:48 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		Welcome to CM.

I wouldn't take anyone serious who had to post in their profile:
quote:

"Always capitalize Master, Dom, and even the word 'You' when speaking to me,"


And there's not one iota of what you bring to the relationship that's not kink related. If I was single & looking, I'd see a cool pic (really, I do like your main pic) but even as an "Iron Ass Masochist" (as I was called at a party) I would click to the next profile. There's too much implied 'tw00 dumbinant' and not any vanilla interests.

And:
quote:

I also might leave my sub tied up for hours, or even one or two days at a time. During this period of punishment, all I would allow my sub to eat and drink would be my cum and urine, respectively. All good things come (and cum) from Master

Srsly dude? Turn off the bad bdsm porn & think with the upper brain.

If you're looking for a long term relationship, you should let someone know what you're into outside of kink.


_____________________________

Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video


(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/6/2012 10:54:35 PM   
Masterfor1sub


Posts: 30
Joined: 10/14/2012
Status: offline 		Thank you for your responses. I have actually listed my non-BDSM interests at the bottom of the page, but I understand if you didn't make it that far, lol.

(in reply to BurntKitty)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/6/2012 10:59:33 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		No, at the bottom is all about urine play & what I quoted.

_____________________________

Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video


(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/6/2012 11:01:51 PM   
Masterfor1sub


Posts: 30
Joined: 10/14/2012
Status: offline 		That's...weird. I must have accidentally cropped it. Sigh. It was only nerd stuff anyway.

(in reply to BurntKitty)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/7/2012 4:18:11 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Well put the nerd stuff back in. Put it at the top. It's really, really important that you show you have a personality beyond your sexual tastes.

At the risk of sounding obvious, men and women are different. I know this is a broad, sweeping generalisation, but most women can get as much sex as they want for very little effort. That includes kinky sex. Online there are way more men looking for a kinky partner than women, which means if a woman has a burning desire to act as a cock-cosy, she can get it. What is harder to find is someone that shares the kink but ALSO has a personality and is worth getting to know outside the bedroom. So if your profile is all about sex and nothing about the person, chances are she's going to move on and find someone who shares interests with her. Particularly since you are looking for a 24/7 TPE. I'm in a 24/7 TPE. Most of the time we are not having sex or playing. Those times are great, but the rest of the time we still have to build a life - pay the mortgage, study, entertain guests, shop for food etc. You need to show that you are someone worth doing all of that with. You're a nerd? Great. So you already scored an extra point on some nerdy girl's scorecard.

And again because of the numbers on this website and others like it, women aren't likely to contact you just on the off chance that you have something to offer, because there will be other profiles which tell her that right away and save time.

I agree it's good to get your expectations out there if you are looking for something specific, but honestly I'd dial it back and make it less explicit. It reads a bit like you got a bit excited and started typing out your fantasy. Save that for later. I don't need to know the ins and outs of your last masturbatory fantasy to get an idea if we are compatible, and it's a bit offputting. So maybe a concise outline. You're looking for someone into objectification. They will have a large number of rules and restrictions to follow. You want a punishment dynamic. You are very interested in watersports and prolonged bondage sessions. See how I got the important info in there without oversharing?

Lastly some of your desires seem a bit unrealistic. Tied up for days drinking only urine? That sounds like bad erotica. Imagine the reality of that. How would you make sure she was safe at all times? How would you make sure there was no loss of circulation? Do you know how to check for dehydration? Are you ready to have the house stink of urine and feces? Are you going to stay with her the entire time, in the knowledge that you'll be up for a murder charge if she falls into an odd position and suffocates or you go to the store and the house burns down? I also cringed a bit about how you're going to beat her bloody if she forgets to capitalize 'You'. I know some people like extreme, but personally I couldn't trust someone who was going to react in such an extreme way over a very tiny mistake. I'd very quickly be living in constant fear and the relationship we had would be gone. There are going to be a lot of mistakes early in the relationship. On both sides. I'd be dead if I got beat like that for every minor slip up.
I see you're very interested in micromanaging - which is absolutely fine and legitimate, but takes a lot of work on your part. Just something to bear in mind. A lot of people who start out doing this have to give it up, and you don't want to make big promises in your profile until you know you can keep them.

So, my suggestion for a good profile would be:

1-2 short paragraphs (about 4 sentences each) about you as a person. What do you do for a living, what do you like to do at the weekends, what are you passionate about, what good qualities do you have? Show me what you are bringing to the relationship. Awesome cook? Brave world traveler? Love political debate? Good at woodworking? Kind to animals?
1-2 short paragraphs about the relationship and the kink you are seeking. Not the gory details. The broad outline of what life with you would look like.
1 paragraph about your ideal person - again in general terms. Dont' say '21 years old, blonde, big boobs' but rather an age range, location if that's an issue, any particular personality traits you'd like her to have (adventurous, nerdy, funny, shy, party girl).

Phew. Essay finished.


_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/7/2012 5:10:16 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Hi, welcome to CM. It's nice that you asked for feedback, says a lot of positive things about you.

Yes, like Athena pointed out, men and women are different. Women don't care so much about the sex/kink, they care about the man. You lead off with a lot of detailed sex and kink and there is nothing about you as a person. Even your interest list is all kink, nothing that says anything about you. As a stranger and a woman, I could give a rip about what you like to do in private, however, I really want to know if I like spending time with you. There are so very many men offering sex and kink on here, but what I look for is someone I like to share time with.

I like the fact that you had several facial pictures up, that was nice. I'd have never made it past your profile though even if the pictures interested me. I don't talk about private things with strangers, seems odd on this site, but if I go there right away then a man tends to concentrate on that and I never get to find out if I like him or not.

I'd really rethink the detail you go into with your descriptions of what you want sexually. The whole thing is something I'd never even read except for the fact that I saw your thread here and the request for feedback. Profiles like yours are a dime a dozen. I don't want those, I want a man who captures my interest, and my imagination, and woos me with engaging conversation. The tired old "You will call me Sir, clean my asshole, get peed on, record your weight"....meh.

(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:21:11 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		In addition to what the others have said, after reading your profile, I believe it is premature to call yourself a Master and recommend you get a new screen name that does not include the word. Rather than stating what you are expecting from a partner, I suggest you list what experience you have. Given your age, it's especially important to add details to lend credibility, for example, past relationships, if you are active in the local community, attend BDSM workshops to learn new skills, have been a presenter at workshops, have made educational videos, etc.


_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:25:54 PM   
Masterfor1sub


Posts: 30
Joined: 10/14/2012
Status: offline 		Please don't take this the wrong way, but that's a really insulting. How can you tell me who I am? What my screen name should be?

Dom or Master is an orientation, it has nothing to do with how many... Instructional videos made.

For your information, I've had experience. I don't put that "I've been a Daddy for over a year, as well as multiple irl partners" on my progile because 1) I'm not looking for a daughter any longer and 2) I've seen plenty of times on here how people are disgusted when men brag about past accomplishments.

Please do not tell me that I am not a Master. I do not accept it more than you would accept me telling a slave she's "not a real slave"

< Message edited by Masterfor1sub -- 12/8/2012 12:26:29 PM >

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:28:01 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Read this.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/tm.htm

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:28:05 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterfor1sub

Please don't take this the wrong way, but that's a really insulting. How can you tell me who I am? What my screen name should be?

Dom or Master is an orientation, it has nothing to do with how many... Instructional videos made.

For your information, I've had experience. I don't put that "I've been a Daddy for over a year, as well as multiple irl partners" on my progile evasive 1) I'm not looking for a daughter any longer and 2) I've seen plenty of times on here how people are disgusted when men brag about past accomplishments.

Please do not tell me that I am not a Master. I do not accept it more than you would accept me telling a slave she's "not a real slave"



Dominant is an orientation, but Master really isn't. In most circles, you aren't a Master until you have actually Mastered something (or someone). That's kinda the point of the title.


_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:30:13 PM   
Masterfor1sub


Posts: 30
Joined: 10/14/2012
Status: offline 		Okay, then, niether is slave. Ill explain to people calling themselves slaves when they have had no experience to remove that, and go to you for explanation.

Also, if you read what I posted, I do have experience. So the point is moot.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:33:18 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		I haven't seen this obligatory response yet here, so.......

BDSM will not work as a get out of jail free card for someone who cannot start and maintain a romantic relationship.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:40:16 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterfor1sub

Okay, then, niether is slave. Ill explain to people calling themselves slaves when they have had no experience to remove that, and go to you for explanation.

Also, if you read what I posted, I do have experience. So the point is moot.


You don't get it.

A Master is someone who has considerable experience and is recognized by others. I can think offhand of five or six in the Denver area, two of them female.

If you believe that you yourself get to set the definition - you ain't one.

Lemme be forthright about this. Your profile reads like someone with no experience whatsoever and no idea what he's doing. Yet you claim to be a Master. If you try to walk into a local event and misrepresent your experience, you will find yourself banned from events and find it very hard to meet any locals that are part of the community.

Are you ready to start listening to people with far more real life experience than you, or are you going to continue to argue and nitpick?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:40:39 PM   
Masterfor1sub


Posts: 30
Joined: 10/14/2012
Status: offline 		I actually have a fiancé (semi-vanilla) and we have been engaged for a year, known each other for 3. I don't mean to sound defensive, but it hard when people do not actually respond to the question, and instead seem to copy paste responses from other threads.

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:42:57 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterfor1sub

Okay, then, niether is slave. Ill explain to people calling themselves slaves when they have had no experience to remove that, and go to you for explanation.

Also, if you read what I posted, I do have experience. So the point is moot.




Not if you think this is a good idea you don't:

quote:

I also might leave my sub tied up for hours, or even one or two days at a time. During this period of punishment, all I would allow my sub to eat and drink would be my cum and urine, respectively


This screams "I have no experience and have been locked in mommy's basement watching porn for the last 10 years".

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:43:03 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		What?????????

So you're just looking for a piece on the side?

Well sorry, dude. You can put lipstick on a tool, but............

(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:43:14 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Um, any particular reason you decided to not mention your fiancee in your profile?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Masterfor1sub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Hi! I don't want my profile to make me look like a ... - 12/8/2012 12:43:50 PM   
Masterfor1sub


Posts: 30
Joined: 10/14/2012
Status: offline 		" I can think offhand of five or six in the Denver area, two of them female. "

I apologize, but we are going to have to fundamentally disagree on this definition. I can't imagine a slave not calling her Dom "Master" because he has not had years of experience with other slaves before her.

Thank you for your information on other points.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 20
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