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ORIGINAL: BurntKitty

Welcome to CM.

I wouldn't take anyone serious who had to post in their profile:

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"Always capitalize Master, Dom, and even the word 'You' when speaking to me,"

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And there's not one iota of what you bring to the relationship that's not kink related. If I was single & looking, I'd see a cool pic (really, I do like your main pic) but even as an "Iron Ass Masochist" (as I was called at a party) I would click to the next profile. There's too much implied 'tw00 dumbinant' and not any vanilla interests.

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I also might leave my sub tied up for hours, or even one or two days at a time. During this period of punishment, all I would allow my sub to eat and drink would be my cum and urine, respectively. All good things come (and cum) from Master

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ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Well put the nerd stuff back in. Put it at the top. It's really, really important that you show you have a personality beyond your sexual tastes.

At the risk of sounding obvious, men and women are different. I know this is a broad, sweeping generalisation, but most women can get as much sex as they want for very little effort. That includes kinky sex. Online there are way more men looking for a kinky partner than women, which means if a woman has a burning desire to act as a cock-cosy, she can get it. What is harder to find is someone that shares the kink but ALSO has a personality and is worth getting to know outside the bedroom. So if your profile is all about sex and nothing about the person, chances are she's going to move on and find someone who shares interests with her. Particularly since you are looking for a 24/7 TPE. I'm in a 24/7 TPE. Most of the time we are not having sex or playing. Those times are great, but the rest of the time we still have to build a life - pay the mortgage, study, entertain guests, shop for food etc. You need to show that you are someone worth doing all of that with. You're a nerd? Great. So you already scored an extra point on some nerdy girl's scorecard.

And again because of the numbers on this website and others like it, women aren't likely to contact you just on the off chance that you have something to offer, because there will be other profiles which tell her that right away and save time.

I agree it's good to get your expectations out there if you are looking for something specific, but honestly I'd dial it back and make it less explicit. It reads a bit like you got a bit excited and started typing out your fantasy. Save that for later. I don't need to know the ins and outs of your last masturbatory fantasy to get an idea if we are compatible, and it's a bit offputting. So maybe a concise outline. You're looking for someone into objectification. They will have a large number of rules and restrictions to follow. You want a punishment dynamic. You are very interested in watersports and prolonged bondage sessions. See how I got the important info in there without oversharing?

Lastly some of your desires seem a bit unrealistic. Tied up for days drinking only urine? That sounds like bad erotica. Imagine the reality of that. How would you make sure she was safe at all times? How would you make sure there was no loss of circulation? Do you know how to check for dehydration? Are you ready to have the house stink of urine and feces? Are you going to stay with her the entire time, in the knowledge that you'll be up for a murder charge if she falls into an odd position and suffocates or you go to the store and the house burns down? I also cringed a bit about how you're going to beat her bloody if she forgets to capitalize 'You'. I know some people like extreme, but personally I couldn't trust someone who was going to react in such an extreme way over a very tiny mistake. I'd very quickly be living in constant fear and the relationship we had would be gone. There are going to be a lot of mistakes early in the relationship. On both sides. I'd be dead if I got beat like that for every minor slip up.
I see you're very interested in micromanaging - which is absolutely fine and legitimate, but takes a lot of work on your part. Just something to bear in mind. A lot of people who start out doing this have to give it up, and you don't want to make big promises in your profile until you know you can keep them.

So, my suggestion for a good profile would be:

1-2 short paragraphs (about 4 sentences each) about you as a person. What do you do for a living, what do you like to do at the weekends, what are you passionate about, what good qualities do you have? Show me what you are bringing to the relationship. Awesome cook? Brave world traveler? Love political debate? Good at woodworking? Kind to animals?
1-2 short paragraphs about the relationship and the kink you are seeking. Not the gory details. The broad outline of what life with you would look like.
1 paragraph about your ideal person - again in general terms. Dont' say '21 years old, blonde, big boobs' but rather an age range, location if that's an issue, any particular personality traits you'd like her to have (adventurous, nerdy, funny, shy, party girl).

Phew. Essay finished.

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ORIGINAL: Inghammar

Let me explicitly state that I am a dominant male who just did an exercise in reading your profile and trying to put myself in position of a female submissive reading it and what she might think.

I don't think a woman who has interest in the activities you enjoy would have those interest toward just any strange man on the bus. Right now you, like me, are the strange man on the bus. Even if there is a profile that explicitly states 'USE ME AS A TOILET NOOOW!' she has in mind a certain type of relationship with a certain type of person and would not be much likely to hang around the men's loo in hopes something fortunate comes her way.

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Why the ffff are you responding to people who aren't dealing with your OP? Damn you're easy to troll.

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I also might leave my sub tied up for hours, or even one or two days at a time.
During this period of punishment, all I would allow my sub to eat and drink would be my cum and urine, respectively.

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ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT


This screams of fantasy desire and inexperience

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I also might leave my sub tied up for hours, or even one or two days at a time.
During this period of punishment, all I would allow my sub to eat and drink would be my cum and urine, respectively.

Also, I think the "respectively" is superfluous and you can remove it.

Welcome.

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ORIGINAL: Masterfor1sub
Thank you very much. I do plan on a pretty much full rewrite already, considering the responses I have been getting.

I originally filled my profile with fantasies and instructions to be upfront with what I was looking for. I will absolutely be putting more of my "vanilla side" in the profile.

I was also afraid that putting things on there like being interested in Minecraft and World of Warcraft would push away people who didn't think I was serious about the whole thing. I realize now that I was wrong.

Again, thank everyone in here who has helped me like Ladypact. There are some in here who have admitted to refusing to even read my profile, which is what the original post was asking for, and to you, I ask to read my profile and then provide specific responses like others have. Thank you!

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ORIGINAL: Masterfor1sub
I may playfully spank, but I would not be actually angry. Does my profile really come off that I would?

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ORIGINAL: Masterfor1sub

I actually have a fiancé (semi-vanilla) and we have been engaged for a year, known each other for 3. I don't mean to sound defensive, but it hard when people do not actually respond to the question, and instead seem to copy paste responses from other threads.

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ORIGINAL: lizi
I'd really rethink the detail you go into with your descriptions of what you want sexually. The whole thing is something I'd never even read except for the fact that I saw your thread here and the request for feedback. Profiles like yours are a dime a dozen. I don't want those, I want a man who captures my interest, and my imagination, and woos me with engaging conversation.

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ORIGINAL: Masterfor1sub

" I can think offhand of five or six in the Denver area, two of them female. "

I apologize, but we are going to have to fundamentally disagree on this definition. I can't imagine a slave not calling her Dom "Master" because he has not had years of experience with other slaves before her.

Thank you for your information on other points.

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Dude, you are not getting it.

You've got this idea that you can have your woman call you Master. I'm telling you what to do before you've found her. Like right where you are now.

RIGHT NOW, you are calling yourself a Master while you have zero or little experience. Keep that up, and you'll get a very poor reputation in the local community. Then your pool of potentials will be drastically limited, and it ain't big right now, seeing as how you're engaged and have little experience.

And if it takes a woman calling you "Master" to make you feel good, you should read this thread, in which I poke fun at the men who make such demands: her speech defect

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A Master is someone who has considerable experience and is recognized by others.