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RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 3:46:48 PM   
littlewonder


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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

ok, lunch, dinner...whatever..makes no difference. All she changed was the venue.



She didn't just change the venue. She changed the "meal" as well.


But he still asked her first. If he didn't like the "meal" idea then he could have come back with another thought and they could have negotiated on the place. I've done that a few times but imo, he still asked her out first.

But whatever, if it's that really a big deal to the guy, he should just ask. I'm just surprised that people make such a big deal about it. It's just a lunch meeting and a few dollars. Then again, if he can't afford a few dollars he may not be ready to get involved with someone until he finances are better.


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RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 4:04:30 PM   
Subano


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Joined: 1/15/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
But he still asked her first.


Would it be different if he asked her for coffee and she escalated it to an all expense paid trip to Paris?

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 4:12:40 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		egads, put that pecker away please.

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yep

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Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 4:14:08 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Nah. Let him break ToS with that avatar so enough people report it.


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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 4:16:03 PM   
Subano


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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

egads, put that pecker away please.


Is this better?

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 4:19:14 PM   
Subano


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/15/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Nah. Let him break ToS with that avatar so enough people report it.


Hopefully the edit meets the guidelines?

BTW, I'm always amazed that some women don't find a cock the most interesting thing in the world.

Many men think every nipple they ever met was unique - and always a joy to see!

I'd never see a guy say "egad, put those tits away"!

I guess that's the difference between us.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 4:23:16 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Subano
I'm always amazed that some women don't find a cock the most interesting thing in the world.

Meh. I'd much rather see how interesting a PERSON is before I give a rip about his junk. You are far more interested in your own cock than any of us are, that's what I call "dick-centric."

NBMG

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(in reply to Subano)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 4:25:16 PM   
Subano


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Joined: 1/15/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl
You are far more interested in your own cock than any of us are, that's what I call "dick-centric."


It's the most important thing in the world to me!

I just need to find someone who thinks the same! :)

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 4:54:28 PM   
manxcabbit


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/1/2010
Status: offline 		Basically what I'm taking away from a few of these posts is because I have very little money I can't be dominant or truly have power in a relationship with a sub male because I don't have the funds to continually pay for dates and events. What horse shit.
Having said that every single man I have ever dated has made more money than me. Every. Single. One. Usually anywhere from $5-$10 an hour more than me and in some cases they made triple my yearly income. In my mind if a guy wants to go out and do things with me, then he'd better be prepared to pay, at least some of the time. I've certainly gone dutch before and I've even paid for the whole thing when I happen to have a bit extra and want to be nice.

(in reply to Subano)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 5:04:27 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Subano
Hopefully the edit meets the guidelines?

BTW, I'm always amazed that some women don't find a cock the most interesting thing in the world.

Many men think every nipple they ever met was unique - and always a joy to see!

I'd never see a guy say "egad, put those tits away"!

I guess that's the difference between us.
Ah, see. There's the problem. When you've got cock on demand that's attached to an obedient submissive, the rest of them just kind of pale in comparison.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Subano)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 5:09:39 PM   
Pyramus


Posts: 397
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Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
When you've got cock on demand that's attached to an obedient submissive, the rest of them just kind of pale in comparison.


Makes me want to be a submissive sometime! :)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 5:11:19 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyramus


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
When you've got cock on demand that's attached to an obedient submissive, the rest of them just kind of pale in comparison.


Makes me want to be a submissive sometime! :)

Not me. Last time I bottomed was 20+ years ago. Wasnt fun.

ETA, I was nicely told that "OWWW FUUUUUUCK" is not a safe word

< Message edited by Hillwilliam -- 1/15/2013 5:12:19 PM >

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RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 5:44:17 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subinsilicon

All I know is the protocol in the real world - which is basically, for the first date, the guy asks, the guy chooses, the guy pays.
I realize today there are no hard-and-fast rules, but I ask in the fet world if the protocol is different for a new sub who never did this before.

Case in point is that I cyber met a Domme here on CM who approached me and who taught me how to address her and how to respond to her and she disagreed with my suggestion of coffee saying lunch was more appropriate and then she asked what I like to eat in order for her to pick the time and place.

All fine with me - as I like her being in control of the decisions - but - let me know, in the fet world, who's supposed to pay.

Bear in mind I have never subbed in my life in real time, so, I am unsure of protocols.
I'm sure they vary - but is there a norm?


Domme....in charge....sub....not.

Any questions?

(in reply to subinsilicon)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 6:32:56 PM   
Subano


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Joined: 1/15/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie
Domme....in charge....sub....not.


You mean the Domme charges ... the sub subtracts!

< Message edited by Subano -- 1/15/2013 6:33:11 PM >

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 6:37:06 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Subano


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
But he still asked her first.


Would it be different if he asked her for coffee and she escalated it to an all expense paid trip to Paris?


No it wouldn't. He can say yes or no or negotiate it to something that works for them both. He seems to have no problem with taking her to lunch.


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Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 6:39:40 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Subano


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Nah. Let him break ToS with that avatar so enough people report it.


Hopefully the edit meets the guidelines?

BTW, I'm always amazed that some women don't find a cock the most interesting thing in the world.

Many men think every nipple they ever met was unique - and always a joy to see!

I'd never see a guy say "egad, put those tits away"!

I guess that's the difference between us.



Really? I can think of quite a few men who don't want to see them and if they do see them, they usually won't take that woman as seriously. He'll just look at her as less than dating material.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Subano)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 6:39:48 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThanisKitty

And my train ticket home! And the coffee... So three drinks! Lol

Shit the proper answer is THANK You!!

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(in reply to ThanisKitty)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 6:46:06 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Subano
I guess that's the difference between us.

No there are many many many more differences!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Subano)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 6:49:29 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Ah, see. There's the problem. When you've got cock on demand that's attached to an obedient submissive, the rest of them just kind of pale in comparison.



Speaking of, I have this ticket for a ride on clip & the counter keeps reading now serving #1, my ticket is 436. Any hope

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 1/15/2013 6:51:38 PM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Protocol question: When a Domme asks a sub to go ou... - 1/15/2013 10:40:02 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: manxcabbit

Basically what I'm taking away from a few of these posts is because I have very little money I can't be dominant or truly have power in a relationship with a sub male because I don't have the funds to continually pay for dates and events. What horse shit.
Having said that every single man I have ever dated has made more money than me. Every. Single. One. Usually anywhere from $5-$10 an hour more than me and in some cases they made triple my yearly income. In my mind if a guy wants to go out and do things with me, then he'd better be prepared to pay, at least some of the time. I've certainly gone dutch before and I've even paid for the whole thing when I happen to have a bit extra and want to be nice.


Only one or two suggested that it's always on the dominant partner to pay.

But, there is a difference between paying for the first date and paying for dates throughout a relationship. By the time you are comfortable talking about each other's salary, you should be comfortable enough to say 'I don't have a lot of disposable income, so either we do things that are free or you're going to have to foot the bill for our dates'.

I still think both parties should be prepared to pay for the first date. As LW said early in the thread, what if the other person skips out? At the very least be able to pay for yourself; if the person was giving off skeevy vibes I'd certainly want to pay my own way so they didn't somehow feel they were owed something because they paid for me. I do sort of agree if a person can't afford the first date, or to pay for a few of the early get-to-know-you dates, then they need to get saving up before asking people out.

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Profile   Post #: 120
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