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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 11:42:40 AM

Domindess

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Whining is the sound of your genetic legacy dying

Wonderful statement! So true so awesome

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 12:05:20 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calligraphy

In my experience, "Thank you, but I'm not looking" type replies are met with a deluge of unsavory insults. It doesn't seem to matter how polite I've tried to be, or how gentle the let down I've composed, as, more often than not, it opened the door for unwarranted personal attacks. I've found it much more pleasant to avoid the situation all together and eventually settled on a clearly-stated "I'm not interested/I don't answer these types of messages" clause in my profile.

I wouldn't be surprised if other members don't respond for the same reasons that I choose not to.

That has never happened to me.

The insults after rejection are a normal and regular thing on CollarMe, hell online IMO.

I have been called a fat cow, bitch, whore, and another wide range of things because I politely told people I wasn't interested. Heck, I had a man call me a worthless fat cow because I told him I wasn't interested in trading content with his "slave" because she did straight porn where I do fetish videos. Plus I don't deal with "master" I need to know the person is doing it of their own free will.

Yup, I've been called fat, ugly, fake, skanky. I've been told that no one would want me, that I was useless, and I was pitiful since I apparently couldn't get laid living next to the largest Marine Corp base in the country. They stopped just short of "ca-ca, pee-pee" and "your mother dresses you funny".

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 12:17:56 PM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
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From: Middle River, MD
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

They stopped just short of "ca-ca, pee-pee" and "your mother dresses you funny".

DAMN YOU! I spit tea when I read this line. Lmfcao

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 12:34:37 PM

Just0Plain0Mike

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calligraphy

In my experience, "Thank you, but I'm not looking" type replies are met with a deluge of unsavory insults. It doesn't seem to matter how polite I've tried to be, or how gentle the let down I've composed, as, more often than not, it opened the door for unwarranted personal attacks. I've found it much more pleasant to avoid the situation all together and eventually settled on a clearly-stated "I'm not interested/I don't answer these types of messages" clause in my profile.

I wouldn't be surprised if other members don't respond for the same reasons that I choose not to.

That has never happened to me.

The insults after rejection are a normal and regular thing on CollarMe, hell online IMO.

I have been called a fat cow, bitch, whore, and another wide range of things because I politely told people I wasn't interested. Heck, I had a man call me a worthless fat cow because I told him I wasn't interested in trading content with his "slave" because she did straight porn where I do fetish videos. Plus I don't deal with "master" I need to know the person is doing it of their own free will.

Yup, I've been called fat, ugly, fake, skanky. I've been told that no one would want me, that I was useless, and I was pitiful since I apparently couldn't get laid living next to the largest Marine Corp base in the country. They stopped just short of "ca-ca, pee-pee" and "your mother dresses you funny".

I've never understood this reaction. I don't mind getting a polite, Thanks but no thanks nearly as much as getting nothing. I typically send back a quick Thanks for the reply and good luck in your search, and then carry on. What's the point of getting nasty? Will sending a nasty message suddenly make her change her mind? Gee, I didn't think we were right for each other, but now that you've called me a fat c**t, I realize just how wrong I was! ;)

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 12:46:00 PM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Just0Plain0Mike

I've never understood this reaction. I don't mind getting a polite, Thanks but no thanks nearly as much as getting nothing. I typically send back a quick Thanks for the reply and good luck in your search, and then carry on. What's the point of getting nasty? Will sending a nasty message suddenly make her change her mind? Gee, I didn't think we were right for each other, but now that you've called me a fat c**t, I realize just how wrong I was! ;)

Yes, some people do believe that humiliating someone will make them want to be with them. I am sure it works well with some, after all some people lack self esteem and THOSE are the people that tactic work on IMO.

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 12:53:36 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Just0Plain0Mike
I've never understood this reaction. I don't mind getting a polite, Thanks but no thanks nearly as much as getting nothing. I typically send back a quick Thanks for the reply and good luck in your search, and then carry on. What's the point of getting nasty? Will sending a nasty message suddenly make her change her mind? Gee, I didn't think we were right for each other, but now that you've called me a fat c**t, I realize just how wrong I was! ;)

You can even go one beyond that. People that email with the intent of hitting on you when they know that they don't match what you're looking for, are starting out the entire exchange by not respecting your boundaries. Why would you be with someone that doesn't respect your boundaries?

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 1/29/2013 12:54:18 PM >

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 3:50:36 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Because often a quick, "Thank you for the kind words, but I am in a relationship at this time." Results in....

YOU FILTHY FUCKING WHORE WHY ARE YOU ON THIS WEBSITE IF YOU ARE NOT HERE TO SUCK COCKS?!?!?

Or, you know, friendly messages along that line. :)

I've seen this comment enough times to believe it but.....it still amazes me.

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 4:04:34 PM

Duskypearls

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: newjourney

I get it. It's unfortunate that people can't be civil to each other anymore. A truly sad indictment of where our world is heading.

What is civil to YOU may not be what civil is to everyone else.
To ME politely ignoring you is civil.
You demanding that I respond to an email you sent me, isn't all that civil in my eyes.

(you and I were used as general terms)

quote:

Now, you say "That is junk mail since it is unsolicited mail." Perhaps you are right, however, how else would it be possible to get to know someone on CM if nobody sends any messages? Telepathy? I suppose you will come back and say you get to know someone on the forums. Maybe, but the likelihood of meeting someone in the forums who lives in the same city is pretty slim.

Here is the thing, if you send someone an email and you want to get to know them. They don't respond back, they obviously don't want to get to know you. So why throw a fit?

Why not simply say okay, for what ever reason they didn't think I was compatible and move on?

Just because YOU are interested in getting to know someone, doesn't mean they feel the same about you.

Btw... I have found more than a handful of posters who are local to me and even more when I lived in California. Granted I lived in the ass crack of California so going to LA, SF, or Sac wasn't an issue. I've also drove down to DC to go to a CM members birthday bash years ago and meet MANY CMers there.

ETA: Instead of hiding your profile due to "hate mail" why not simply block and delete? Why give a stranger that much power over your online experience?

You can also report messages if they are vulgar or threatening.

^^^^^^Here, Here, this, this bolded stuff!!!^^^^^^ You tell ém, LilSquaw, I stutter. You said it perfectly, my dear, succinctly!

How is it some have such a challenge understanding this? Is it due to inflated sense of entitlement? Look at it this way. If my doorbell rings and I look out my window and see two, uninvited, unsolicited Jehovah's Witnesses on my doorstep, am I obligated to open the door and say, "Thanks but no thanks?" Hell no! I don't answer the door and/or put up a "No solicitation" sign.

Those of you that don't get it, please STOP trying to force yourself on others w/your emails. That's tantamount to a form of literary rape. Enough already. Grow up emotionally, grow some and stop expecting others to coddle you.

To say nothing of the fact it does not add to your appeal factor. It just makes you stand out as a big, red flag.

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 1/29/2013 4:10:30 PM >

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 4:41:52 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
If my doorbell rings and I look out my window and see two, uninvited, unsolicited Jehovah's Witnesses on my doorstep, am I obligated to open the door and say, "Thanks but no thanks?" Hell no! I don't answer the door and/or put up a "No solicitation" sign.

Oddly enough, they've stopped coming to my door ever since I suggested that if they really wanted to do some good they should join our charity motorcycle ride to support a wounded Marine.

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 4:58:07 PM

Aedonix

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Joined: 8/26/2011
From: the UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
If my doorbell rings and I look out my window and see two, uninvited, unsolicited Jehovah's Witnesses on my doorstep, am I obligated to open the door and say, "Thanks but no thanks?" Hell no! I don't answer the door and/or put up a "No solicitation" sign.

Oddly enough, they've stopped coming to my door ever since I suggested that if they really wanted to do some good they should join our charity motorcycle ride to support a wounded Marine.

Oddly, they stopped coming to my house after one of them knocked and I took off my shirt, squirted a pentagram on my chest made of ketchup and then proceeded indignantly to say "Umm.. EXCUSE ME! but do *I* come and interrupt YOU while YOU are worshiping??"

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 5:53:13 PM

Duskypearls

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aedonix

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
If my doorbell rings and I look out my window and see two, uninvited, unsolicited Jehovah's Witnesses on my doorstep, am I obligated to open the door and say, "Thanks but no thanks?" Hell no! I don't answer the door and/or put up a "No solicitation" sign.

Oddly enough, they've stopped coming to my door ever since I suggested that if they really wanted to do some good they should join our charity motorcycle ride to support a wounded Marine.

Oddly, they stopped coming to my house after one of them knocked and I took off my shirt, squirted a pentagram on my chest made of ketchup and then proceeded indignantly to say "Umm.. EXCUSE ME! but do *I* come and interrupt YOU while YOU are worshiping??"

Aren't you the clever one?! Bet that gave them something to think about. All's well that ends well, but what if that only inspired them to bring their whole church over to try to save you?!

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/29/2013 6:04:46 PM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls

If my doorbell rings and I look out my window and see two, uninvited, unsolicited Jehovah's Witnesses on my doorstep, am I obligated to open the door and say, "Thanks but no thanks?" Hell no! I don't answer the door and/or put up a "No solicitation" sign.

When I invited them to come in saying I would love to have a discussion about how many people have died or killed other's in the name of "religion" they left in a hurry and have not come back since.

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/30/2013 8:50:32 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: newjourney

Yeah I'm bisexual. I believe in being upfront with people. It's interesting that there are a lot of narrow-minded people on CM...but I suppose that should not have surprised me. Yes, I list that I'm looking for a wide list of "types" because this particular profile of me is my photographer profile looking for INTERESTING PEOPLE.

I think muhly222222's probably right, just move on.

And...yes, I'm a photographer. Photographer's aren't bad people, but I could see how some women might view me differently...but I didn't say women...I believe I said "another member". That could be members of both sexes. The journal entry on my profile was just added prior to finding these forums, so it's not like I've been a raving lunatic about it.

Human nature is never dull.

ok i haven't read further than this post because i can't be arsed.

you post photo's of the women you have took pictures of in your profile yes? do you have their permission to do so in writing?

you see; even if i were looking i'd ignore you purely from the fact that you are posting pics of people in your profile that are not you. that is against the site rules of posting pics. also, i'd be extreemly worried about letting someone take photo's of me that they then might plaster all over the net without my permission.

you'll find that whinging like a bitch about not getting a responce to your mail will get you no where. every profile that i see on the other side with content whinging about fakes, or whatever gets an instant hide button press from me. i don't even open profiles that come up on the home page, and i'm not looking, but i can't stand the moaning and griping.

as others have said; you want to try being a woman on here. you are a guy. you're ten a penny. i get unasked for mail all the time and mostly it will be ignored.....which is what i tell people in my profile. alot are compliments for which i reply and say thank you. however, some even think that is a signal to start asking me all sorts of personal questions that i will not answer.

it never ceases to amaze me how quickly i turn from the most wonderful mistress in the world to a lying, fake, fat cunt that needs to get over herself. those words 'thanks but i'm not interested' have very magical powers ya know.

needles

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/30/2013 8:57:15 AM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aedonix

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
If my doorbell rings and I look out my window and see two, uninvited, unsolicited Jehovah's Witnesses on my doorstep, am I obligated to open the door and say, "Thanks but no thanks?" Hell no! I don't answer the door and/or put up a "No solicitation" sign.

Oddly enough, they've stopped coming to my door ever since I suggested that if they really wanted to do some good they should join our charity motorcycle ride to support a wounded Marine.

Oddly, they stopped coming to my house after one of them knocked and I took off my shirt, squirted a pentagram on my chest made of ketchup and then proceeded indignantly to say "Umm.. EXCUSE ME! but do *I* come and interrupt YOU while YOU are worshiping??"

Aren't you the clever one?! Bet that gave them something to think about. All's well that ends well, but what if that only inspired them to bring their whole church over to try to save you?!

i've told them before that they can come in so long as they agree to listen to me for a couple of hours first explaining why there is no god. one asked me why i think they'd do that.......same reason as you think you can come into my house and make me listen to you. if you think my mind is so easy to change then your's must be too.

either that or i sing to them that i kissed a girl and i liked it

needles

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/30/2013 9:00:33 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
you'll find that whinging like a bitch about not getting a responce to your mail will get you no where. every profile that i see on the other side with content whinging about fakes, or whatever gets an instant hide button press from me. i don't even open profiles that come up on the home page, and i'm not looking, but i can't stand the moaning and griping.

When I was single, if a man's profile had any negativity in it at all, they got ignored.

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/30/2013 9:29:22 AM

myotherself

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

When I was single, if a man's profile had any negativity in it at all, they got ignored.

I'm not single but I still ignore whiny, self-pitying profiles. I can't stand to be around people who are so negative and show such poor self-esteem. I have enough people like that around me in real-life - I don't want it online too!

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/30/2013 10:22:03 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

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You w/ill hear this a million times in this thread, but most of us would do nothing but send no thanks if we repolied to the s hit ton of mail we get, plus people sometimes get abusive when you say no thanks.

I will ignore an email sent to me if it's obvious they have not read my profile, because I say clearly I am not looking, or that when I was looking they had to be local.

Why waste my time when they are dense enough they can't figure it out they're not for me if they are what my profile says I am not looking for.

quote:

ORIGINAL: newjourney

I have had a pet peeve with the people of CM ever since I completed my first profile several years ago. The issue is a matter of common courtesy...which, unfortunately isn't as common as one would think.

Whenever I approach another member with an introductory email, I usually take the time to compose a well thought-out message that tells them a little about myself along with a clear face picture and a compliment on their profile. I never send a cock shot or any "obscene" photo and I'm always polite.

Most of the time, I get no response. I see they read my message, but they don't bother responding. I'm not ugly. In fact, I'm considered very good looking. At 47, I'm older than most. But I don't "troll" around looking for youngsters. I usually look for people + or - 5 years of my own age...so it can't be that.

What's wrong with people on here? Why don't people take a moment out of their day and just send a quick response acknowledging the fact that you thought them interesting enough to contact them? You don't have to write more than "Thanks, but I'm not looking right now" or something like that. Unfortunately it's commonplace now for people to basically not give you the time of day...even if you're polite and kind. Lately I've found myself writing shorter and shorter 1st messages because I know that most people aren't going to bother responding.

What's your experience?

quote:

t myself along with a clear face picture and a compliment on their profile. I never send a cock shot or any "obscene

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/30/2013 10:50:25 AM

newjourney

Posts: 10
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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

you'll find that whinging like a bitch about not getting a responce to your mail will get you no where. every profile that i see on the other side with content whinging about fakes, or whatever gets an instant hide button press from me. i don't even open profiles that come up on the home page, and i'm not looking, but i can't stand the moaning and griping.

Nobody's "whinging" (whatever that means) like a bitch about not getting a response...

Obviously it's impossible to have civil dialog about this subject on this site. I totally understand women's frustrations with ill-mannered assholes who call them names after a polite response. It didn't occur to me that that was as common as it seems to be. It explains a lot. I'm actually sorry to hear that...and so it makes sense that after a bunch of abuse people would just not respond. Me, personally, I give people the benefit of the doubt first...but that's just me.

To the person who questioned my posting a few photos on my profile of people that I've photographed...and whether or not I had permission in writing. The answer is yes. I'm not just a professional photographer, but I also have a high set of morals and a conscience. But what's the point in even answering that question as another shot will be pointed at me for something else because I'm speaking up about the rudeness of some members.

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/30/2013 11:05:42 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: newjourney

Nobody's "whinging" (whatever that means)

It's British version of the word "whining".

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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 1/30/2013 11:14:06 AM

EsotericLady

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This image is just toooooo funny! LMAO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aedonix

Oddly, they stopped coming to my house after one of them knocked and I took off my shirt, squirted a pentagram on my chest made of ketchup and then proceeded indignantly to say "Umm.. EXCUSE ME! but do *I* come and interrupt YOU while YOU are worshiping??"

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