Duskypearls
Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: Just0Plain0Mike
I've never understood this reaction. I don't mind getting a polite, Thanks but no thanks nearly as much as getting nothing. I typically send back a quick Thanks for the reply and good luck in your search, and then carry on. What's the point of getting nasty? Will sending a nasty message suddenly make her change her mind? Gee, I didn't think we were right for each other, but now that you've called me a fat c**t, I realize just how wrong I was! ;)
You can even go one beyond that. People that email with the intent of hitting on you when they know that they don't match what you're looking for, are starting out the entire exchange by not respecting your boundaries. Why would you be with someone that doesn't respect your boundaries?
^^^^^^The above enlarged quote is what constitutes literally 99.9% of ALL posts made to me by men. One has to wonder, what is it that possesses these persons to do this. The equivalent is that of a sloth trying to make time with a thoroughbred horse. It ain't, in this lifetime or any other, gonna happen. What are they thinking?
And as so many others have stated so well before me, when we do respond kindly, "'Thank you for your kind interest, but no thank you. Good luck in finding your perfect match," or whatever, we get viciously insulted, cursed at, harangued and belittled. Needless to say, it is a sorry fact we quickly learn it is not in our best interest to reply at all, unless the person's email and profile shows them to be polite, intelligent, balanced, kind, interesting, etc., and there is somewhat of a possibility of common interests and grounds between us.
But that is, indeed, such a rare experience.
OP, for whatever reason, you are literally "stuck," and defending to the death, your perception that you are right and we are wrong. It is OK for you to want what you want, how you want it, when you want it, but that doesn't mean your perception or desire is right, balanced or healthy. You are off base on this.
OP, you are entitled to your opinion, but it would appear that opinion is causing you great distress, a lack of success and a palpable "bristling" towards you from nearly everyone here. Many here have done all in their power, respectfully, patiently and repeatedly, to explain, in detail, what and where the problem is. Your refusal to understand or be receptive to concepts other than that in which you are already so stalwartly invested in defending is what makes you so angry at us, and you so dangerous to us.
Until you are willing to consider your outlook on this subject may be askew and worthy of re-examination and reconstruction, you will continue to beat your head against the wall on this, and make many suspicious and fearful of you.
One of the hallmarks of emotional maturity is the ability and willingness to consider that even though one may feel very strongly about an issue, that doesn't necessarily mean they are right about it. Surely you've known people who insist they are right about something, when in fact you know they couldn't be less so. Annoying, aren't they?! Don't you scratch your head and wonder why it is so hard for them to get it?
It is their insecurity, ignorance and inflexibility that makes them so. It is an irrational, immature and incorrect belief that to admit one does not know everything, or might not have enough information or be wrong about something is bad or shameful, or makes them less of a person in their own eyes, and that of others.
The truth is it does not, but is in fact the exact opposite. I'd be willing to bet if you asked all the folks who've responded to you, thus far, their opinion on this, nearly 100% of them would say how much they admire and look up to those who can admit to not knowing everything, or being wrong about something.
In my book, there is little more exciting than one capable of this. It shows humility and integrity, at the very least, both of which I find extremely alluring and sexy, ESPECIALLY in men!!!
Word to the wise, consider re-considering.
Would it be nice if you got what you wanted and expected? Yes. Are you entitled to it? Maybe to yes. Is it reasonable to force it from others? Not so much. Will it reflect well on you if you pitch a fit because you don't get it? NO!!!
Maturity and wisdom dictates you make a shift. You could take a lesson learned, and turn this disaster to your advantage. If you want to "get it,"you will get it. Make an effort to understand what a big issue this is for folks, especially women, and how it harms them. Accept the many insights, opinions and feelings we've shared with you here, and weave it with a little compassion into understanding how better to deal with others in the future. Be aware and sensitive to the issue, be compassionate and allow others to do what they need to do to feel and be safe. Admire them for doing so, and share that admiration.
Finally, be willing to accept that your resistance and unwillingness to "get this" is part of the very same problem shared by all those about whom we complain and avoid like the plague. Be mature, generous and manly enough to accept responsibility for your part in contributing to this problem. The height of responsibility, on your part, would be to be truly repentent and be willing to apologize, on behalf of all guilty of the same, for the damage it has done, and genuinely show yourself able to not perpetuate the crime.
THAT, my good man, will win you everyones respect, and many more positive replies to your attemptsl And as any good fisherman knows, if you're not catching what you want with the bait at hand, switch bait!!
BTW, does this remind anyone of Billy Joel's song, "Angry Young Man?"
Original on Turnstiles Album: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpMv76SIUhg
Later Version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHOWzDP3qso
Angry Young Man
There's a place in the world for the angry young man with his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl and he's always at home with his back to the wall.
He's proud of the scars and the battles he's lost. He struggles and bleeds as he hangs on the cross
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.
Give a moment or two to the angry young man with his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand.
He's been stabbed in the back, he's been misunderstood it's a comfort to know his intentions are good.
He sits in a room with a lock on the door with his maps and his medals laid out of the floor
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.
I believe I've passed the age of consciousness and righteous rage, I've found that just surviving was a noble fight
I once believed in causes too, had my pointless point of view and life went on no matter who was wrong or right.
There's always a place for the angry young man, with his fist in the air and his head in the sand
He's never been able to learn from mistakes, so he can't understand why his heart always breaks
And his honor is pure, and his courage as well, and he's fair and he's true and he's boring as hell
And he'll go to his grave as an angry old man.
There's a place in the world for the angry young man with his working class ties and his radical plans
He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl and he's always at home with his back to the wall.
He's proud of the scars and the battles he's lost, he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on the cross
And he likes to be known as the angry young man
< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 1/30/2013 9:32:37 PM >
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RE: Why Do So Many People Ignore Messages? - 
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