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Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 7:42:18 AM   
thezeppo


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Something that I have been wondering recently. In a lot of threads here, it is said that there are a lot more men than women, whether Dom, Sub, or Switch. For the last couple of hours I have been wondering why that is - and under what terms that hypothesis stands. I am yet to venture out into real life, I am still an online warrior until I graduate, so apologies if this is a really obvious question that has been answered many times.

Does it mean that there are many more men than women online - or on Collarme specifically - and that in real life there tends to be a more even spread? From what I can tell of the regulars on Collarchat there seems to be a more even spread than the correlation between gender and private messages would suggest. So are men just more desperate then, more willing to send message after message? Generalising massively, it could seem that quite a few of the female regular posters are in committed LTRs, so is the difference just that men are more likely to be single? Having said that, quite a few of the male posters here seem to be in LTRs as well, so is that men are more likely to look outside of their existing relationships and therefore form a bigger group than women? Or is it just that quite simply there are more men into BDSM than women?

As you might be able to tell, I have a tendency to look for a complicated answer to a question where a simple answer probably exists, so if someone could tell me the obvious answer I haven't considered I would really appreciate it, and I could get back to work!
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:02:10 AM   
JeffBC


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Personally, my guess work would go down these lines:

a) It is implausible that more men than women are looking for a relationship.
b) It is implausible that more men than women are into some form of BDSM.

What I do think is that there are more men than women looking for a quick fuck... or a slow fuck... or any other kind. I think that in a sex-forward venue like this you're going to see skewed numbers because of that.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to thezeppo)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:06:22 AM   
intellisubbear


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thezeppo
it is said that there are a lot more men than women


Almost everywhere I look, there are a LOT more men than women.

When I hike or bike in the mountains, I run into vastly more men than women (it would be rare to run into a lone female hiker, for example, in these sparse mountains).

When I go to a bar with my buddies for a drink, I run into far more men than women (although I don't go to dance clubs, where the men outnumbering the women wouldn't be as abundant).

When I go to work, admittedly in a Geeky place in Mountainview, I run into phenomenally more men then women.

When I search for "submissive" in the sfbay Craigslist personals, I run into tremendously more male-seeking ads then women-seeking (where the difference is hugely revealingly apropos to your thread intent).

Yet, when I drop the kids off at school, I run into far more women then men. Go figure.

(in reply to thezeppo)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:09:02 AM   
JeffBC


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quote:

ORIGINAL: intellisubbear
Yet, when I drop the kids off at school, I run into far more women then men. Go figure.

LOL... more eloquently stated than my response.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to intellisubbear)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:17:47 AM   
Pyramus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: intellisubbear
When I search for "submissive" in the sfbay Craigslist personals, I run into tremendously more male-seeking ads then women-seeking (where the difference is hugely revealingly apropos to your thread intent).


I just ran that search (see image below).
sfbay.craigslist.com, search all personals, for the keyword "submissive".
Results:
Two thousand three hundred percent MORE male-seeks-something than female-seeks-something ads popped up!
Specifically:
12 female-seeking-something ads with 'submissive' in the ad
281 male-seeking-something ads with the same keyword

Lesson learned?
[I]Time to start looking for a submissive MILF when I drop 'my' kids off at school![/I]


Large image: http://www3.picturepush.com/photo/a/12528946/img/12528946.png
Small image: http://www3.picturepush.com/photo/a/12528946/640/12528946.png

(in reply to intellisubbear)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:18:34 AM   
Hillwilliam


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quote:

ORIGINAL: intellisubbear


Yet, when I drop the kids off at school, I run into far more women then men. Go figure.

Because they can't fucking drive.

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:21:27 AM   
searching4mysir


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quote:

What I do think is that there are more men than women looking for a quick fuck... or a slow fuck.



Add to that the fact that most woman don't need to go online to get that quick fuck if they want one. If I wanted to get laid (and was single) with no strings attached I could head down to my local bar and chances are I could find someone to fuck pretty easily.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:24:40 AM   
sexyred1


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There may be more men online, but quantity does not mean quality.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 3/28/2013 8:25:17 AM >

(in reply to searching4mysir)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:28:30 AM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

What I do think is that there are more men than women looking for a quick fuck... or a slow fuck.



Add to that the fact that most woman don't need to go online to get that quick fuck if they want one. If I wanted to get laid (and was single) with no strings attached I could head down to my local bar and chances are I could find someone to fuck pretty easily.


There is that.

I think there are a few reasons.

1) I think women are less likely to act on fantasy due to societal programming.

2) In some areas, the demographics simply go one way or the other. ie: Alaska


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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:40:44 AM   
Pyramus


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Actually, since I searched for 'sfbay->personals->submissive->w4m" vs "m4w", that's two thousand three hundred percent more men seeking women than women seeking men.

If I don't limit it to one gender seeking the other, the numbers skew even wilder!

Of the 910 personal ads found just now with the "submissive" keyword:
- only 12 were w4m
- only 12 were w4w
- 0 were w4mw

Which makes it something like a couple dozen out of a thousand ads with the keyword "submissive" were from women (i.e., men seeking women outnumber women seeking men by thousands of percent, at least when looking at the keyword "submissive".

Curiosity getting the better of me, I tried a few more keywords:
Dominant ==> of the 673 hits, 12 were w4m, & 9 were w4w
kinky ==> of the 724 hits, 11 were w4m, 9 were w4w
slave ==> of the 244 hits, 4 were w4m, 4 were w4w
BDSM ==> of the 117 hits, 4 were w4m, 1 was w4w
sadistic ==> of the 19 hits, 0 were from women

I think it's clear that, at least on the Craigslists kinky ads, men outnumber women by the thousands of percent.


(in reply to Pyramus)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:41:08 AM   
JeffBC


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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir
Add to that the fact that most woman don't need to go online to get that quick fuck if they want one.

Agreed, That's why women don't spend much time "looking" for casual sex. It is readily available to them. I actually think about the same percentage of women as men are looking for casual sex. It's just "the search" for a woman lasts a few hours.

Conversely, I don't think men spend much time looking for "love". It is readily available to them.

I think men and women spend a lot of time and energy trying to find that which they desire in a mate. I just think BDSM is a sex-forward environment (not the activity of BDSM but the culture of it) so numbers get skewed towards men.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to searching4mysir)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:45:09 AM   
anaturalsubmiss


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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

most woman don't need to go online to get that quick fuck if they want one.


All we women need to do is place one word on our profile, and nothing else!
'female'

That one word alone, even without any text or pictures, would guarantee a thousand collarme mails in a single month. And they never stop!

(in reply to searching4mysir)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:48:15 AM   
Blankpain


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Because men have testosterone, which ruins their minds.

Remember geldings are much more amenably sociable.

Their little brains no longer overrule the big ones.

(in reply to anaturalsubmiss)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 8:53:24 AM   
Etruscano


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thezeppo
so if someone could tell me the obvious answer


The obvious answer is that men are absolutely nothing like women, and, as someone just stated, it's all because of a single thing. Testosterone.

You never see marauding bands of young women terrorizing the town, do you?
Do armies of women pillage, rape, and plunder throughout history?
Do bar fights typically have women slashing each other with fists and weapons?

Men are hunters. They are ALWAYS on the hunt. Always seeking prey.
Nobody is looking (for the most part) for men. They're on their own.

As stated, if you simply take away the raging hormones, men become more docile, more likeable, more like women.

(in reply to thezeppo)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 9:03:16 AM   
Agent99


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thezeppo
Does it mean that there are many more men than women online


Simple answer?

Yes.

Men rule (most of) the world. And certainly men rule the Internet.

Hell, Men created the Internet (Al Gore notwithstanding).

Men create most things - men DO most things ... men are most scientists - men are most explorers - men fly most airplanes - men fight most wars - men play & watch more sports - men drive more miles than women - etc.

Women do outnumber men in some endeavors, e.g., universities have slightly greater enrollment than men, public schools are overwhelmingly female taught, hairdressers are overwhelmingly more often female, etc.

More to the point, on the USENET, men outnumber women something like 99:1. On this forum, it would seem to be less so, but I don't know the numbers.

However, it's clear that men rule the Internet, in general; so why wouldn't they rule this forum?

Adding the fact that porn is more than half the Internet and men overwhelmingly are 99% of porn's customers, men account for probably something like 95% of the Internet traffic.

It's what it is. And always will be. Unless you change 4 billion years of evolution in a lifetime.

(in reply to thezeppo)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 9:13:45 AM   
thezeppo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Etruscano


quote:

ORIGINAL: thezeppo
so if someone could tell me the obvious answer


The obvious answer is that men are absolutely nothing like women, and, as someone just stated, it's all because of a single thing. Testosterone.

You never see marauding bands of young women terrorizing the town, do you?
Do armies of women pillage, rape, and plunder throughout history?
Do bar fights typically have women slashing each other with fists and weapons?

Men are hunters. They are ALWAYS on the hunt. Always seeking prey.
Nobody is looking (for the most part) for men. They're on their own.

As stated, if you simply take away the raging hormones, men become more docile, more likeable, more like women.



Well I'm from Liverpool, so that's a standard Saturday for us XD

In general, a question of culture and chemistry then? Makes sense, and is actually quite reassuring.

(in reply to Etruscano)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 9:23:30 AM   
thezeppo


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In my real life, I work at a school and attend a university that has more women than men, so quite female-centric environments in general. For me it is this environment that stands out as the exception in that it is more male dominated. As a (formerly) Catholic boy I come from a large family, which is also matriarchal. I can see that it is my experience which is the exception though.

Edit: I know that sounds stupid and innocent, but I was genuinely quite shocked when I first joined up here!

< Message edited by thezeppo -- 3/28/2013 9:27:53 AM >

(in reply to thezeppo)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 9:23:55 AM   
MorningStar01


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All a load of bollox to me. There seems to be no respect left for women...but was there ever?

(in reply to thezeppo)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 9:28:35 AM   
absolutchocolat


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

There may be more men online, but quantity does not mean quality.


QFT. Just because there are more horny net geeks to choose from, doesn't mean we want 'em.

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: Why are there so many more men? (not a moan!) - 3/28/2013 10:05:35 AM   
Charles6682


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Some studies have shown that males far outnumber females in BDSM.This includes doms,subs,switches alike.Thats not including those who chose to remain private with their personal life.

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