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Respect - 6/5/2013 11:51:51 PM

tazzygirl

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Who deserves more respect, the top or the bottom?

~Top - I mean anyone in a dominant role, bottom - I mean anyone in a submissive role... sad I feel I have to point that out, but someone will ask

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Post #: 1

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 12:33:24 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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I feel like there must be a catch to this question but.... they are both equally deserving of respect, assuming they are both decent human beings.

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RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 12:46:33 AM

wittynamehere

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Who deserves more respect, the top or the bottom?

Deserves? Nobody deserves anything at all in this world, and I dare anyone to prove otherwise - you can't. "Deserve" is a human concept which doesn't really exist.
But if anything at all could be said to be deserved, it certainly wouldn't be respect! The line "respect is earned, not demanded" is one of those cliches that's true.
"Top or bottom" has nothing to do with it from my standpoint. Whoever earns respect gets it, and that's it.

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RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 12:46:49 AM

JeffBC

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I came up with four answers. In order they were

#1 .... What is this, a trick question? The one that is most respectable.
#2 .... Which is obviously Carol in our case
#3 .... Hmmmm, She might disagree
#4 .... Hmmmm, in a high functioning couple both are going to claim the other is more respect-worthy

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Post #: 4

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 12:49:41 AM

tazzygirl

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I asked the question... so of course there is a catch. But not looking for a "gotcha" moment. Im trying to work out something in my own head, so I am looking for as many responses as I can get for this question.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 5

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 12:50:36 AM

TNDommeK

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I would say both until proven otherwise.

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RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 12:50:51 AM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wittynamehere

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Who deserves more respect, the top or the bottom?

Deserves? Nobody deserves anything at all in this world, and I dare anyone to prove otherwise - you can't. "Deserve" is a human concept which doesn't really exist.
But if anything at all could be said to be deserved, it certainly wouldn't be respect! The line "respect is earned, not demanded" is one of those cliches that's true.
"Top or bottom" has nothing to do with it from my standpoint. Whoever earns respect gets it, and that's it.

Deserves doesnt mean demand. As in, someone can deserve a promotion because they earned it.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to wittynamehere)

Post #: 7

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 1:01:49 AM

DaddySatyr

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This has been one of my favorite discussions, vís-á-vís this lifestyle.

I think it largely depends upon which definition of the word we're using.

The American Heritage Dictionary (online version) has three definitions as a transitive verb. I believe only two of them to be pertinent to this discussion:

quote:

1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.

Obviously, the first definition is the most commonly used/understood so, in this regard; I have to say that respect isn't automatic but it is important that it flows more from the submissive to the dominant partner. That's not to say that it isn't a "two-way street" just that I believe the amount of respect necessary in this type of relationship is increased when one person is allowing the other person to lead them.

quote:

2. To avoid violation of or interference with: respect the speed limit.

To me, this is the definition that most people seem to be using when they use the word "respect". In this regard, everyone (IMO) is deserving of respect.

One would hope that as we go through life, we would aim to avoid violation of another human being. That certainly rings more true in a romantic/partnership relationship.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

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RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 1:31:02 AM

JeffBC

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Good job bringing up definitions Micheal. Honestly I only ever think of "esteem" when I think of respect. I would be measuring things like "honor", "strength", "courage", "wisdom", and maybe a bit of "intelligence". Who likes to tie up who is geometry. Insofar as D/s, a quick look at Washington DC should disabuse the perceptive reader of the notion that leaders are worthy of respect automatically.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 9

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 1:41:08 AM

Charles6682

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Both

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Post #: 10

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 1:49:58 AM

DaddySatyr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

... Insofar as D/s, a quick look at Washington DC should disabuse the perceptive reader of the notion that leaders are worthy of respect automatically.

LOL If this isn't worthy of its own topic in P & R, I'm not sure what is! ...

Peace and comfort,

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 11

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 1:57:00 AM

RaspberryLemon

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Both are equally worthy of respect (so long as both individuals are respectable.) There is, in my opinion, equal worth in being a good, responsible leader and being a dedicated, loyal follower. Both have their place in this world, and neither makes someone "better." So in my mind each deserves equal respect.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 12

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 2:03:45 AM

BitaTruble

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Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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fr

Male bottoms. If anyone deserves more respect, it's them.

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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Post #: 13

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 3:40:05 AM

ARIES83

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Tazzy,
What are you trying to work out in your head?

And... I have no experience with tops or bottoms so I don't know either way.

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Post #: 14

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 3:49:20 AM

KnightofMists

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Neither... Respect is earned not deserved.

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Post #: 15

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 3:58:02 AM

kiwisub12

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I don't think roles "deserve" respect. Someone in a role has to earn my respect - like my boss, or the fella that empties the rubbish.

People also have to earn respect. Most people i automatically accord respectful actions, just because i'm a polite person, but "deserve? Not so much. There are people i work with that would be surprised at the level of disrespect i would aim at them - except they are higher on the totem pole than me, and would get fired.

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Post #: 16

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 4:05:43 AM

DarkSteven

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My first thought was the politically correct one of saying "both".

My next one is that the Dominant is more responsible. If it's a good relationship, he/she is looked up to more. If it's dysfunctional, he deserves less respect because he/she is more responsible.

If it's simply a scene as opposed to a relationship, the above holds, but even more so. If something unexpected happens, the Top needs to be the one to take control of the situation and navigate it through.

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Post #: 17

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 4:51:29 AM

LadyPact

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I don't judge who I respect more based on role. I do that depending on who they are as a human being.

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Post #: 18

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 5:29:19 AM

NuevaVida

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What LP said.

Within my relationship, we have earned each others respect and I don't think either of us would bother weighing/comparing it on a balance scale.

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Post #: 19

RE: Respect - 6/6/2013 5:42:30 AM

TheLilSquaw

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For me their role doesn't garner more or less respect.
I also think the actions of both reflect upon the respect they (as a couple or even known play partners) may gain or loose from others.

< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 6/6/2013 5:43:23 AM >

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Post #: 20

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