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What would you do? - 8/12/2013 1:55:34 AM   
Sheela22


Posts: 199
Status: offline 		Ok this is me with another annoying question. A good friend of mine called me tonight and told me she is getting married on New Year's Eve (at my home town). She invited me to her wedding .I was thrilled but told her I have to check with Him first. When I asked the Master , he said absolutely no and I'm not allowed to go because he wants us spend the New Year's Eve together (alone) rather than with my friends. I understood and obeyed him. Then when we were in bed cuddling he said since this wedding is really important to me he is willing to change his mind under one condition , I have to give him bj every night starting August 15th until Christmas . I asked if he means bj then sex and he said no this is an addition to sex/beating .this means I give him bj and he cums either in my mouth and I swallow or he gives me a facial ( he decides where to finish) . He told me I have until August 15th to decide. Now it's 2 am and I can't sleep lol. This is my very good friend's wedding, I get to go back home ( he is coming with me to the wedding) ,visit everyone but every night is a little too much. Should I accept it or just forget about the wedding ? Ugh

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 3:12:30 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Get a divorce.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 3:26:59 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sheela22

Ok this is me with another annoying question. A good friend of mine called me tonight and told me she is getting married on New Year's Eve (at my home town). She invited me to her wedding .I was thrilled but told her I have to check with Him first. When I asked the Master , he said absolutely no and I'm not allowed to go because he wants us spend the New Year's Eve together (alone) rather than with my friends. I understood and obeyed him. Then when we were in bed cuddling he said since this wedding is really important to me he is willing to change his mind under one condition , I have to give him bj every night starting August 15th until Christmas . I asked if he means bj then sex and he said no this is an addition to sex/beating .this means I give him bj and he cums either in my mouth and I swallow or he gives me a facial ( he decides where to finish) . He told me I have until August 15th to decide. Now it's 2 am and I can't sleep lol. This is my very good friend's wedding, I get to go back home ( he is coming with me to the wedding) ,visit everyone but every night is a little too much. Should I accept it or just forget about the wedding ? Ugh


Sheela, after everything I've read from you I have to ask: how do you know he will keep his promise and not just decide the week before that you're not going, because, hey, he's the master and you have no option to complain?
Conversely, how do you know that if you say no he won't just make you do it every night anyway, because, hey, he's the master and you have no option to complain?
And if you agree but then get a horrible case of the flu two weeks before and can't give bjs, is he going to hold that against you?

While I'm all about doing as my husband tells me, I made sure BEFORE I agreed to be his that he wasn't the type of person that would isolate me from my friends. Missing your close friend's wedding because he wants a quiet night in WILL impact on your friendship. It doesn't exactly speak of someone who cares about your emotional wellbeing.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 3:29:13 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Why can't you see what kind of man this is?

He's not going to go to the wedding with you, and will make you feel super guilty if you go. He's a predator, so his entire agenda is isolating you from your friends.

You *do* understand the entire bj request is just to get bjs, right? I guarantee that towards the end of the year (if not before) he will start finding 'fault' with your bjs, and say they don't count. Yes, he's that kind of guy.

Agree to the bjs, and watch what he does. Not what he says, what he does.

Best, CP



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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 3:40:47 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
....Missing your close friend's wedding because he wants a quiet night in WILL impact on your friendship. It doesn't exactly speak of someone who cares about your emotional wellbeing.

I've got to agree with Athena again - especially that last bit.
As far as I'm concerned, no decent dominant in a permanent 24/7 relationship would want to isolate their sub to such an extreme or to put such awkward demands upon them.

As has often been said, a dominant sets their up sub to succeed, not to fail.
And given the situation that you are now faced with, you either fail your master (deliberate lowercase) or you fail your close friend. Neither scenario is particularly good for you as a person.

Seriously Sheela, you need to reconsider your master as he seems to be a 1st-class asshat.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 3:59:27 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		So I am not the only one who think that this guy is a first class jerk...

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 4:42:06 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne
So I am not the only one who think that this guy is a first class jerk...

No you're not.
It has been said by quite a few people in various other threads that she needs to dump this asshat and leave.
Every single thing she brings up concerning her "master" screams to everyone that she should get out pronto but she still makes excuses for him and stays there.
This is yet another example of why she needs to let him go.
It's not just one thing; it's a whole myriad of things that aren't right with this relationship.
But she just doesn't want to listen to common sense.

There's none so blind as those that don't want to see.


ETA: smacks of sub frenzy to me.


< Message edited by freedomdwarf1 -- 8/12/2013 4:43:01 AM >

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 5:14:03 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I wasn't getting 'sub frenzy' so much as 'victim'. They've only declared themselves D/s recently, after she left her life behind to move a great distance to be with him. I strongly suspect that these issues have been here long before D/s was mentioned, just using different terminology.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 5:17:36 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

I wasn't getting 'sub frenzy' so much as 'victim'. They've only declared themselves D/s recently, after she left her life behind to move a great distance to be with him. I strongly suspect that these issues have been here long before D/s was mentioned, just using different terminology.

You are probably right.
But no matter how you look at it - it's all fucked up. Seriously fucked up big time.


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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 6:37:11 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Why can't you see what kind of man this is?

He's not going to go to the wedding with you, and will make you feel super guilty if you go. He's a predator, so his entire agenda is isolating you from your friends.

You *do* understand the entire bj request is just to get bjs, right? I guarantee that towards the end of the year (if not before) he will start finding 'fault' with your bjs, and say they don't count. Yes, he's that kind of guy.

Agree to the bjs, and watch what he does. Not what he says, what he does.

Best, CP


This, plus change the terms to "being willing and available" to give BJs so if he's not in the mood for one that doesn't count against you.

It's like if you show up for work and the power is off - you should still get paid because not being able to work was beyond your control.


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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 7:28:03 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Have your friend move the wedding.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 7:49:21 AM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		I can't say what I'd do in your situation because I wouldn't tolerate being with someone that disallowed me from seeing friends or family, or have to barter to that extent to do so.

If you do go through it, and he attends the wedding with you, something tells me he won't exactly be enjoyable company.

Do you honestly believe his proposition to be a reasonable one?

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 7:58:22 AM   
descrite


Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
Status: offline 		What I would do is accept the blowjobs gladly.

What you should do is shut up and start sucking.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 8:05:25 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Like I haven't given that sage advice to every girl out here already.................

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 8:16:07 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

Get a divorce.



Luckily she's not married.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 8:29:39 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		There were some good posts above me.

1) He's harming your friendships.

2) He's using sex as a weapon.

Remember when I said, "don't listen to what he says, watch what he does"? This is one of those moments.

Mark this down as a moment when he once again proved his dick is more important than your emotional well being. (And yes, outisde friendships and contact are an important part of being emotionally healthy)

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 9:05:48 AM   
tommonymous


Posts: 404
Joined: 1/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sheela22
Should I accept it or just forget about the wedding ? Ugh


Ugh is right. You shouldn't accept his treatment of your life. You also shouldn't forget about the wedding. You should not blow him every night, and then go to the wedding because it's an important event (likely the most important so far) in your friend's life. I don't know about you, but my friends are very important to me. (Remember when I told you I'd work very hard to help my friends extricate themselves from shitty situations? I also work very hard to help them mark milestones.)

I've often said that, if a new person in my life is making me choose between them and my longstanding friendships, I'll take the longstanding friendships every time. Relationships are partnerships. Partnerships are mutually beneficial, and self-reinforcing. Anyone who's going to be a partner of mine will support my current relationships because they (both the current relationships and the partner) support me. My partner will want to enhance my life and help me grow as a person, as I will want to help them do the same. And they won't require tit-for-tat tasks if I need something important, as I wouldn't demand that of them.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 9:14:05 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Seriously, think about this statement:

I can't attend one of my closest friend's most important life moments because I won't agree to give the guy I'm living with 138 blow jobs.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 9:14:37 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sheela22

Ok this is me with another annoying question. A good friend of mine called me tonight and told me she is getting married on New Year's Eve (at my home town). She invited me to her wedding .I was thrilled but told her I have to check with Him first. When I asked the Master , he said absolutely no and I'm not allowed to go because he wants us spend the New Year's Eve together (alone) rather than with my friends. I understood and obeyed him. Then when we were in bed cuddling he said since this wedding is really important to me he is willing to change his mind under one condition , I have to give him bj every night starting August 15th until Christmas . I asked if he means bj then sex and he said no this is an addition to sex/beating .this means I give him bj and he cums either in my mouth and I swallow or he gives me a facial ( he decides where to finish) . He told me I have until August 15th to decide. Now it's 2 am and I can't sleep lol. This is my very good friend's wedding, I get to go back home ( he is coming with me to the wedding) ,visit everyone but every night is a little too much. Should I accept it or just forget about the wedding ? Ugh



Something is rotten in Denmark. I have not read other posts of yours and if I weren't lazy and uncaffeinated at the moment I would do a little digging. But just from one post, one post I can see something that is questionable. So, correct me if I am wrong, he wants to spend New Years alone, not in Paris or Rome or somewhere really special that you had planned for months, right? And being alone with you trumps your good friend's wedding how exactly? And the others bring up great points... if you are sick are you still expected to service him and if you can't does he then pull the, "You have disobeyed your master and as punishment you cannot go to your good friends wedding." That last question you don't have to answer, but you more than likely already know how that would play out.

In fairness, I should read other posts of yours and find out the other things this guy does. While this doesn't sound terrible, it does sound really odd if you didn't have something really, really, special planned for New Years already.

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RE: What would you do? - 8/12/2013 9:16:54 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		OP, based on this and your other posts, I really think this guy is such an ass that he deserves to never get a blow job again.


(in reply to tommonymous)
Profile   Post #: 20
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