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What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex?


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[Poll]

What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex?


Once tied up, we almost always have sex
  43% (43)
Once tied up, we sometimes have sex
  26% (26)
Once tied up, we rarely have sex
  11% (11)
Bondage is foreplay - we have sex after
  11% (11)
Bondage destroys the mood
  3% (3)
Sex is never involved with bondage
  4% (4)


Total Votes : 98
(last vote on : 1/11/2014 8:34:57 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 5:14:33 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		What good is helpless bondage if the Top doesn't have sexual intercourse (in some fashion) with the sub?

We were having an intellectual discourse about sexual intercourse, when the subject came up that one enjoyed (primarily Kinbaku style) bondage for the sheer sake of bondage beauty and helplessness, while the other found that taking pure sexual advantage of the now-helpless submissive was their key focus of the bondage preliminary activity.

Given that these are two sides of the same coin, I ask:
Q: Once the submissive is helplessly bound, what do you prefer next?

Note: The term "sex" here, is defined as penetration, at least for male/female or male/male interaction (I'm not sure what the definition should be for female/female relationships).




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RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 5:20:37 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		For my partners and me, sex is not the end-goal of bondage (though it sometimes happens.) Surrender is. As far as what I do with him when that's achieved, it might be sexually related but just as often it's a prelude to utter relaxation and a trip to a very, very deep place I might not be able to access without it. They don't call me Dark Art for nothing.

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 5:24:25 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline 		Most of the bondage I like makes penetration hard, if not entirely impossible.

We usually have sex after kink play though, but rarely during.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 5:33:11 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Sex isn't necessarily part of all D/s relationships. I enjoy doing rope bondage but sex has nothing to do with it.

< Message edited by MsLadySue -- 11/17/2013 5:34:14 PM >

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

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RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 5:34:15 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Wait...I thought the point of bondage was so the sub can't get away while I do painful things to them. What does sex have to do with that?

Doin' it rong. Again. Crap.



_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
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RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 5:52:38 PM   
LadyAnne68


Posts: 134
Joined: 9/4/2013
From: Moorestown, NJ
Status: offline 		I don't have sex with my slaves...ever. (I have a fuck buddy for that.)
Like some of the others have said, bondage is about restraint and control.




_____________________________

Breast Cancer Survivor for 4 1/2 years.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
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RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 6:15:50 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It's rarely piv because most ties don't permit that. But there are orgasms on my part, happy knots. And blowjobs for him. So I count that as sex.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LadyAnne68)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 6:18:07 PM   
Onerat1


Posts: 76
Joined: 6/19/2013
Status: offline 		I have no sex with my kink partner. Never did. I get tied mostly so I do not move when receiving pain. Also to keep things different as not always tied.

(in reply to LadyAnne68)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 6:21:13 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I like being bound without sex simply because it's relaxing for me.

He likes it for different reasons. Sometimes as a way to reward me. Sometimes, to be a sadist when he does it in a way that is painful. Other times so he can have some quiet time to himself. Other times just because he can and he likes the dominion over me and likes to show that to me.

It doesn't always lead to sex.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 8:42:44 PM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline 		I like bondage for a lot of reasons, complete surrender, the fact I'm a born wriggler when having nasty things to me, and yeah sex in bondage is great lol.

I love the extreme bondage for the peace it gives, it's very relaxing. I couldn't really answer your poll as it always varied when I was in a relationship as to what would happen.

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 9:04:28 PM   
petitespot


Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline 		Bondage was always foreplay. There was always sex involved and always pain.
If I saw the ropes come out I knew I was going to get hit hard and fucked even harder.

_____________________________


(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 11:32:01 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		If I go through all that work to tie a girl up, you can bet your sweet Bippy I'm gonna' fuck them once they are helpless . . .








. . . unless it's a robbery and there isn't enough time.

_____________________________

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I give good thread.

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/17/2013 11:40:00 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Yea pretty much what he said

BadOne

_____________________________

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According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/18/2013 12:06:30 AM   
tammystarm


Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline 		...

< Message edited by tammystarm -- 11/18/2013 12:07:04 AM >

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~



(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/18/2013 12:08:33 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

Q: Once the submissive is helplessly bound, what do you prefer next?



Spank warmup with my hand starting with light spanks and then progressing to harder slaps and then once she is warmer and red I begin with the medium flogger. The flogger will be in use at least four times with the last being the climax of a 2.5 hour bondage session interrupted with hot wax, Wartenberg wheel "stimulation" and ice torture in special points of her body contrasted with feathers. At times while helpless she is penetrated anally, vaginally and orally by a dido, fisting, fingers, ice and also I have intercourse several times during that session.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to tammystarm)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/18/2013 12:45:11 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		What Resident Sadist said, at least for the most part. It really depended on what the particular dynamics of my partner at the time was looking for. The majority were looking for kinky sex, and they got it, but I've had a couple whose main vibe was the act of being in bondage alone. They chose me because I'd established a reputation among the players in the circle I ran with as being mindful of their limits, and not thinking with my dick.

One in particular comes to mind. She was an infrequent player who'd come out maybe once or twice a month. Married and otherwise faithful to her husband, she had this 'need' to experience being held prisoner for a spell. Just that, no sex or any physical abuse, just being tied up, chained, or otherwise restrained, fully clothed, no exceptions. I could (and usually did) have another playmate during our sessions that I did have relations with while she was sitting, lying, or standing there. For some reason fathomable only to her, she just wanted to be held captive by someone who was both scary and unthreatening (if that makes any sense). I agreed to it because hey, I got to have a living, breathing prop I could play off of with whoever else I was shtupping at the time.

It was a bit weird at first, but for the time we played together it seemed to work out okay for her. And most of my other partners didn't seem to mind. In fact, it kind of turned them on to be sceneing with a dude that had another woman in chains on the other side of the room. She liked it very restrictive, too, perhaps a commentary on her Mormon upbringing and lifestyle in the daylight world. She was turned onto me by one of my past partners who she'd approached at one of the bars I went to. Again, a weird scene, but a memorable one. We lost touch after I had one of my epiphanies and bowed out of the local scene to get my head on straight, but I can only say it makes for some interesting memories.

_____________________________

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The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/18/2013 12:57:41 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

Married and otherwise faithful to her husband, she had this 'need' to experience being held prisoner for a spell. Just that, no sex or any physical abuse, just being tied up, chained, or otherwise restrained, fully clothed, no exceptions.


I don't find that weird at all. I have the same need for physical restrictions you describe her having, and could very easily find fulfillment for that need by just being restrained, fully clothed, without any other form of play.

In fact, doing just that is my absolute favorite way of playing period. Even though it doesn't happen that often because the Top usually wants to play once they've got a restrained subject at hand.

However, my need for being restrained supersedes all other intimate needs I have of a partner, including sex.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/18/2013 12:59:35 PM   
VideoAdminChi


Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		FR,

I added a category after reading the comments.

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/18/2013 1:00:36 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline 		I'd change my vote if I could from "rarely" to "afterwards".

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What good is helpless bondage if there is no sex? - 11/18/2013 1:11:23 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Wait...I thought the point of bondage was so the sub can't get away while I do painful things to them. What does sex have to do with that?

Doin' it rong. Again. Crap.





Ding! We have a winner!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 20
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