quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB


Good male subs that have built up a decent rep are very sought after and its unlikely you will find one of those on a site like this unless they are already owned, but it would be unfair to say that submissive males on here are mostly wankers. I believe a fairly large number just haven't been given a decent chance.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMJAY

Yes there are men who are truly submissive. There are some who are not truly submissive but only want their fantasies met. Being a findomme you probably will not meet a lot of the first type. The type of men who are truly submissive are usually seeking something more relationship oriented and many would never go to a findomme. The other type most likely feel that if they pay their money they have a right to get whatever fetish or fantasy they are paying for. (And in my opinion, they are right to feel that way.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I haven't looked at your profile for a few weeks, but I remember how surprised I was when I saw it before. Your post pattern was very different from your profile text. Assuming your posts reflect who you really are, my take on you is that you are probably intelligent, pretty, honestly trying to figure things out, and attracted to men but deeply frustrated by them at the same time. As in, "God damn it, I wish I could just go gay, and keep those assholes out of my life for good."

One thing that occurs to me is that the source of your desire to dominate may not be so conducive to the recruitment of "true" subs. You seem motivated by the righting of wrongs, a revenge fetish almost. If, instead, you could morph into a sadistic mommy domme, you'd be much more attractive to guys who want to be nurtured while serving someone. The men who want a woman who is angry 24/7 (like the guys who said you weren't sufficiently greedy and grasping as a fd) are part-time fetishists, or insane. Just think about it for a minute: what kind of person would put up with someone who was always nasty and greedy, never nice ever? Only someone broken, an enabler in a domestic abuse situation. Everyone else just wants "mean" to be a nice place to visit, not a 24/7/365 lifestyle.

So, who are you as a dom and as a human being? Do you want to take from someone? Or do you want to take charge of someone?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

People are simply pointing out that you are getting responses based on what you say.

Think of it this way....you certainly wanted be valued, right? Well so do others, so if your profile talks about how mens desires are worthless too you, you will get men feeling worthless. Whay would you want someone who doesn't value themselves?

Remember, these men are seeking someone compatible to them and. For many a big part of compatibility includes the kink they get involved in. Unless they are rude to you, there is no reason why can't be courteous when you turn them down.

What I'm trying to say is don't treat them like a piece of shit on your shoe (unless you both are into thatk and they might think of you in a different way. Whether you call yourself a pro of fin domme, men are going to expect something for thei money.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

so you don't want a boyfriend but yet you want a man who won't be sexual from the get go. Hate to say it but if you don't want a boyfriend, what else is he going to seek you out for? It's no different than the vanilla world.

If a guy doesn't want a relationship he's only going to seek out a girl as a fuckbuddy and nothing more.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

Honestly Princess Kali,
People on here will fill your head with utter garbage.
I really grow MORE tired of the self ordained know-all end-alls of this lifestyle than findommes.
First rule as a domme: Apology? (hahahahahahhaa....) Yes, I would laugh.
Second rule: Be whatever and whoever you want to be.
We are all individuals. There is no cookie cutter carbon copy ideal you have to live up to.
Naturally the fellow on the modelling site saw that little "something" in you that made him feel compelled to submit to you in one way or another. So your methods have worked in the past.
I was kind of lost too when I first discovered this lifestyle, and if I knew then what I know now, I would have probably pissed off a lot of "Dommes" wanting to "put me under their wing" (Ha, they're lucky I didn't gnaw the wings off)
The internet is a free for all and women do tend to get harassed more than men (fact of life).
But don't let those "I'm going to validate myself by belittling you or making you question yourself every step of the way" dickwads fool you.
You are a woman.
You are beautiful.
You are supreme.
That's all that matters. :)
I used to play with online pets just to get a little taste to satiate me, and I know what that's like and there is true submission there, financial gifts or not (which there weren't so poor me!)
Kidding, I got my kicks and so did they. It was fun and most had vanilla spouses who didn't know about their secret "urges".
Those guys need to have fun too! Let's not be selfish.
I think findommes like EVERYONE on the forum has been saying are just a part of supply and demand and if this is the role you want to play, EMBRACE IT COMPLETELY and have fun!
If you doubt yourself, so will they. Embrace that you are exactly as you choose to define yourself. :)
Check out a few femdom videos, personally I enjoy having a sub tie up his balls for starters. They usually say "I have nothing" so I say "use shoelaces'. And so it ensues :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

so you don't want a boyfriend but yet you want a man who won't be sexual from the get go. Hate to say it but if you don't want a boyfriend, what else is he going to seek you out for? It's no different than the vanilla world.

If a guy doesn't want a relationship he's only going to seek out a girl as a fuckbuddy and nothing more.

You're right because all women are good for is to fuck or be in a relationship with. I mean why would anyone want to have a conversation with a woman? Get to know her? Appreciate her intelligence, wit, and beauty? All we're good for is sex. You hit that spot on the nose.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

so you don't want a boyfriend but yet you want a man who won't be sexual from the get go. Hate to say it but if you don't want a boyfriend, what else is he going to seek you out for? It's no different than the vanilla world.

If a guy doesn't want a relationship he's only going to seek out a girl as a fuckbuddy and nothing more.

You're right because all women are good for is to fuck or be in a relationship with. I mean why would anyone want to have a conversation with a woman? Get to know her? Appreciate her intelligence, wit, and beauty? All we're good for is sex. You hit that spot on the nose.

sure....if you only want to be friends with them but people don't normally fuck or play with their friends. If you do they are then called a fuckfriend or fuckbuddy and fuckbuddies rarely care about conversation but hey, good luck with that. Let us know how that turns out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I never once called you fucking stupid so I really don't know why you claim that I am.

I didn't see your other profile. The profile I use for searcing for a partner is written how I wanted it written. I've gotten comment s on it similar to what you say you got. But I stay true to myself and it stays how I want it.

If you are going to change your profile and your attitude because people online tell you you should, you aren't all that dominant in my book, but hey, do what you want, it is your profile.

We have told many submissive women how whem they write profiles about the kinky things they want and post tits and ass shots, they should be surprised by the emails they get. Your profile is apparently attracting the wrong kind of men for you.

Finally and very importantly, submissives expect something out of this exchange as well. Otherwise they wouldn't bother. Now they are all different expections for sure, but a submissive does what they do for enjoyment. And most, expect those needs to be met when money exhanges hands. Not necessarily sex, but something. Also if you are simply engaging in sessions for cash without ongoing thing, you are acting as a pro and the client has a right to get what they want for their money.

Again, since I never called you fucking stupid, an apology would be appropriate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

It must be frustrating that we keep bringing up Findomming. I'm sure you can understand though, why we see it as relevant in some of your questions. Let's take a totally non kinky example. Let's say you were a talented chef, and you had the feeling that there was no one who appreciated high quality, innovative food. And then we hear that your restaurant is situated at busy truck stop. We might well suggest that perhaps you are seeing a higher number of non-gourmets because most people who seek out a truck-stop restaurant are just looking for a quick bite of cheap food. You will get few foodies passing by, but you would self-select for people who weren't. It doesn't mean that you aren't a great chef or that the population at large have no taste, it means your sample size is skewed.

When people look for primarily online interaction, or when people look for a transactional arrangement, they are far more likely to be flakes and/or wankers that those who are out looking for a dominant wife. I know findomme is, at its purest, about the pleasure of surrendering the money as a form of power exchange, but that doesn't negate the fact that people who are seeking pay-for-play or who can't/won't commit will also be attracted to findommes.

For the record, I do remember your old profile and I do think this one is better.