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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

If you repeatedly attract the same it's time to look at yourself and not them.

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ORIGINAL: MariaB

I find it really strange that male dominants happily make the initial contact with the fem sub but many fem Dommes don't believe in making initial contact with the male sub. Is it all about old fashioned male/female values?!

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ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali

In my real life or while using websites like collarme or fetlife I have come across hundreds of "submissive men." I've also met a few men in real life under completely vanilla circumstances who revealed to me they were subs because they thought I had a dominating personality. I'd say I could count the number of truly submissive ones on one hand. And when I say "truly submissive" I mean they genuinely put their Domme first. 99% just had a fetish or fantasy they wanted to play out or told me what I had to do to them. That's not being a submissive it's topping from the bottom. Which is fine but then don't call yourself a submissive. Just say you have a scenario you want to play out. I was hospitalized a couple years ago and had three subs that were serving me (I guess that's what you'd call it). And I informed them all I had been hospitalized and two dissappeared. One later told me it was because I clearly couldn't dominate him while in the hospital. The third was a truly wonderful man and he had flowers sent to my room. Granted I'm not involved in the local community so my knowledge is mostly limited to online and a lot comes from the forums, in which I rarely see sub men posting and if I do it seems they're wanking it while typing whatever they're saying lol. But many women post who seem truly dedicated and submissive. So I'm curious to know, do you think it's in men's nature to be truly submissive to a woman or is it all a sexual fantasy? Or is it just something that comes around once in a blue moon?

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When you get to the point where you tell people that your life is not a democracy and they don't get a vote,

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

That was My sig line here for a couple of years, Kana. LOL.

"I appreciate your opinion and all, but My dynamic is not a democracy and you don't get a vote."

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ORIGINAL: Rawni

I don’t believe that there is a woman alive and out there in some degree… meaning on this site, online, in person, etc. that hasn’t had a man claim to be something he wasn’t, that hasn’t had a man treat them like an object, hasn’t come at you like a piece of meat for their pleasure or acted like an idiot, has failed to do as promised, hasn’t lied… and on and on. We all know the experience to one degree or another.

Whether we had something to do with that or not, whether we said something offhanded, wore a sexy something or other, were in a church, bar or web site or just appeared to be something ‘they’ thought we were and how they evaluated that; we have all experienced it. It isn’t just a findom, loose woman or whatever thing… it is a ‘I carry a vagina thing’ and ‘a male generated perception thing’.

Sometimes we can evaluate a situation and find something we can surely know, assume to know or think is the reason for this or that… but no matter how we present, how we conduct ourselves, dress or where we are… this shit happens and most of us have seen it.

There are men that haven’t gotten a chance… just as well as women that haven’t had a chance. Life isn’t fair… people can suck and it is simply a life experience whether we like it, cause it or are subject to it. It is what it is. Does that mean I don’t think we can do anything about it? NO! It means that sometimes it will just be that way and sometimes we can change an opinion or action and sometime it won’t be worth the effort.

We all… and I do mean all of us, will take each situation in life and may respond to it in a way we might not another time. We all evaluate things and sometimes may have flexible responses. We may have a ‘most-generally‘, type of response but we can vary for various reasons or perceptions theirs or ours, change our mind or just simply be in a different mood or had a recent experience that might come in to play. That doesn’t always have to come off as inconsistent to a reasonable person or mean that we haven’t a set mind in areas where a set mind is important. Some things are situational based on a whole lot of things.

Are there submissive men? Yes. Are there kinky men? Yes. The rest is opinion and experiences.

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ORIGINAL: slavedne

ThePrincessKali,

This being my first post, I am not yet well known on Collarme. I am a sub / slave male. I believe that I am truly submissive. I do enjoy simple fetish play now and then, but a good relationship with a Dominant partner is far more fulfilling. That is what having a Master or Mistress is to me, a relationship, with give and take on both sides. What is exchanged is often not physical or financial, though I do enjoy giving something I have made myself. The manner in which we serve will vary, but we can be an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, a cook, chauffeur, maid, butler, personal assistant, furniture, or even whipping boy, if necessary. I know I pride myself in my flexibility in being whatever is needed. Often, we provide for the physical needs so that you may focus on whatever needs your attention. We are honored to be your play mates when you have the need and the time, but it is not necessarily our primary purpose. On the other hand, we do have needs, too. If our current partner is unable to see to our needs, or we are unable to see to theirs, it is the responsibility of both partners to to identify this and to move on.

Though I am not attracted to it, I understand the need for financial domination that some of us have. It seems to me, as you and several others have already stated, that you are trying to fill a niche, but finding that it doesn't suit your overall needs. I respectfully submit that you might have more luck expressing yourself, your needs and desires as your main profile, and then adding as an afterthought that you are capable and willing to extend yourself to financial and other particular fetishes.

From my limited perspective, you do seem like a good person who could do very well with the right sub. Please keep in mind that relationships evolve and individual needs change. Life is an exploration. You will lead, but your sub will support you and watch your back, just as you will ensure your sub's safety and well-being.

I hope you find what you seek.

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ORIGINAL: Kana

My POV is simple-You're a Domme.That means you're the take charge person in the relationship. Which,happily enough,means that you don't change for them but rather they do so for you.On your terms.At your bidding. As exactly who and what you are.

Accept me as I am and submit to the person standing in front of ya or hit the road, bucko

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ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali
Granted I'm not involved in the local community so my knowledge is mostly limited to online and a lot comes from the forums, in which I rarely see sub men posting and if I do it seems they're wanking it while typing whatever they're saying lol. But many women post who seem truly dedicated and submissive. So I'm curious to know, do you think it's in men's nature to be truly submissive to a woman or is it all a sexual fantasy? Or is it just something that comes around once in a blue moon?

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I will say this. You get out of a relationship what you put into it. Now if you expect paying clients (you advertise as a Fin Domme) to come send you flowers or visit you in the hospital is not very realistic. You only spend a small amount of your time Domming them and they are paying for that. Why would you expect them to send you flowers or visit you in the hospital. If they ended up in the hospital would you send them flowers or visit them for free????

I have nothing against Fin Domme or ProDommes. But you need to be realistic about your subs. If you only share and hour or two of your time per week or month, how much time do you really think they are going to give you back?