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ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

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ORIGINAL: siouxsiecat

I would never take anything big from another person, even if they were family. I would never go to another place and get myself set up based on another person's good intentions. Either I get things from my own work or I don't get them at all. Too much trouble and unexpected consequences, plus i don't like the feeling of being indebted to another or where I might end up when the help ends.

I can't check because your profile is hidden, but I would make a guess that you are very young. In my life I have had at least two occurences where others have helped me and mine substantially, with good intentions and no expectation of repayment.
One instance involved buying a ticket and sending me and my baby back to New Zealand when one of my parents was very ill. The other was when my late dom and I had to relocate from his house to mine, and our circle of friends gave up a signifigant block of time and effort and yes, cash, to help us clean my house and move us into it.

No-one profited in any way, and even though it was a definite blow to my pride, I accepted the help.

The thing of it is, is that people can and are very generous. I wouldn't count on it to the exclusion of common sense, but people are capable of great kindness.

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

So you have an associates in nursing and couldn't get a job in that field? Doubtful. I happen to live within ten miles of one of the best nursing programs in my state and know that these people are working good jobs without a bachelors, only an associates.

And again, ONLINE schools. You continue to not say what you want to major in, although based on what you have said, I'm assuming something within the nursing/medical field. It would explain why twenty year old credits won't transfer since there have been some big advancements in that time.

As for the driving, you are pissing in the wind lady. A neurologist isn't going to take your license for seventeen years just because your mother said something, and your thought that he gave in because you threatened to stop being his patient is really deluded. If there are only three neurologists in the area, do you honestly believe he cares about one patient leaving?

Its time for you to face reality. YOU didn't use your associates degree and now the education is too outdated to transfer. YOU were not permitted to drive because of your health issues, not because the doctor listened to your mother. The driving teacher isn't a doctor and since you said she works with para and quadrapalegics really has little knowledge of neurological issues. After all she is a driver's ed instructor, not a doctor.

I have watched you continue to make excuses about why you couldn't drive, why you "have" to live where you do (as if that's the only apartment complex on the bus route), why you can't go back to school, blah, blah, blah.its all nothing but excuses. Are they based on fear? No doubt in my mind. Can you overcome that fear! Not unless you put your big girl panties on, accept that you are the only one responsible for your life and the problems you keep mentioning and take a risk knowing its on YOU to make it happen.

Running off to Florida isn't going to suddenly make your life better because wherever you go, you are taking your fears with you. That doesn't mean I don't think this guy is on the up and up. I think he really would like to develop a relationship with you and is likely a nice guy. But YOUR FEAR is going to keep that from happening. YOUR FEAR is going to hold you back.

Several people here have told you how they managed to get their education or overcome obstacles and also have given you multiple suggestions on finding online schools that you could get your degree in without worring about not working or driving. You have an excuse for each one.

Geez, iyou are single with no dependents and an offer for a free car at your fingertips. I was a single mom with no extended family tto help and worked full time, and attended school full time while raising my son. If I had been in your position, I could have banged out a doctorate degree.com

You either have the balls or you don't. That's for you to decide. You hate Delaware and the cold? Move. You don't owe your mother anything or your siblings. It sounds like your mother isn't long for this world anyway, so you "could" start online with basic courses since apparently you. Can't handle more than a couple classes at once. That's not a dig either. Not many people could have taken the course load I did while still working and raising a child. My college even tried to discourage me from doing it. Still, you have options. So you hate your job. You've been there for EIGHTEEN. Years. Your pension is vested. You think you are going to work until you are 70 as a nurse or whatever? You're likely to retire in ten to fifteen years even if you spend six of it going to scholl. So again, you now want your dream job for what? Six or seven years before you retire? And you think employers will be clamoring to hire you?

Sorry but as this has gone on, you make less and less sense. Let the guy come visit you. See if you want a relationship with him. Let him help with the rent since he offered. In other words, let go of your fears and live your life that you apparently have been miserable with for eighteen years.

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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

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ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

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ORIGINAL: siouxsiecat

I would never take anything big from another person, even if they were family. I would never go to another place and get myself set up based on another person's good intentions. Either I get things from my own work or I don't get them at all. Too much trouble and unexpected consequences, plus i don't like the feeling of being indebted to another or where I might end up when the help ends.

I can't check because your profile is hidden, but I would make a guess that you are very young. In my life I have had at least two occurences where others have helped me and mine substantially, with good intentions and no expectation of repayment.
One instance involved buying a ticket and sending me and my baby back to New Zealand when one of my parents was very ill. The other was when my late dom and I had to relocate from his house to mine, and our circle of friends gave up a signifigant block of time and effort and yes, cash, to help us clean my house and move us into it.

No-one profited in any way, and even though it was a definite blow to my pride, I accepted the help.

The thing of it is, is that people can and are very generous. I wouldn't count on it to the exclusion of common sense, but people are capable of great kindness.

Agreed, I had low points where I needed help, people helped me, so now if I can I help others, I consider it paying back to the universe, or whatever, what goes around comes around.

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ORIGINAL: Rawni

There are wonderful people that wish to assist others... however, the majority would not be hoping for a slave out of the deal... at least the ones that I would put my life on the line even further with, when in need, to trust in allowing that assistance. Freeby assistance, should be exactly that. Anything else, be cautious and aware and most assuredly, be able to cover your ass in case they aren't on the up and up.

No one I have assisted or anyone that has assisted me, were expected to do anything but advance in their life and well being, by the help.

Rose colored glasses have been an escape of many in life crisis or in challenges and there are those looking for the wearers of such glasses. I call them predators of the weaker in our society.

Any time I have hoped for an assist... was in need... the vultures came ready and faster than the genuine.

Lost my first book deal to one because he knew I was living in a garage in winter and was in serious trouble after 911 destroyed my business and everyone else in the business I was in, in our area. Some big players too. I kept my book and told him to f off.

Even if someone offers assistance and is mostly sincere, but hopes for an end result... that puts pressure of some sort on the person in need and they aren't doing them any favors. It also leaves lots of room for trouble down the road a bit... a month... three months... six months down the road. I wouldn't count on someone that served to gain from assisting me.

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ORIGINAL: WickedOne9

I read your post, now, I haven't read all the responses, or your answers to them. One thing that struck me was that most of your story evolves around a car and money. Not that those are not important things, but I only saw were you said you "really liked this guy" - and I think you are trying to make a decision without enough information. If it was me, before I made ANY commitment, I'd go to Florida for a long weekend. You don't really know this man (and, really, a long weekend isn't enough time but at least you'll have a clue regarding him) or what he is offering you. As for your mother issue, I would think she'd want you to be happy. If you meet him, spend time with him and your gut (not your lust, or fear) feels that it could work, then at least you'd have a better idea of what you'd be getting into. I don't see how you can make this type of decision without spending time with him and seeing if it would be a relationship, or just friends.

The reality of life is money, jobs, cars, people come and go, and can be gone in an instant. I wish you luck & above all, be safe.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

the whole no car thing imo, is just an excuse. I have never driven, have never had any desire, grew up in a small town and lived in other small towns where there was either no transit at all or very little. And I still managed to go to college, do the things I wanted, etc...I always found a way. So please do not use the excuse about not having a car. There is always a way. You don't need a car to do what you want to do.

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I will tell you this though...you want one of the better paying jobs in Florida? Phone sex operator. Aparrently, there are lots of companies doing that there. Pay is good and you have a lot of freedom to get your life in orrder. I couldn't do it, because I wouldn't have been able to keep from laughing my ass off.

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ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

FR

I've tried to stay out of this thread but I can't take it anymore, I have to stick my oar in and see if we can get the boat to move.

First I want to ask the OP what she did with her tax refund. Why the hell didn't you buy a car?

And don't tell me you can't afford insurance, Geiko is under $50 a month. That's $12 a week, what you must be paying for bus service.

I agree that you are full of excuses for why you can't do this and why you can't do that. You have worked at the same shitty job for 18 years, and in my mind you're going to keep doing that. You have zero dependents and basically no reason at all when you were younger to do exactly what you wanted to do. You choose a shitty low end job.

You are highly risk averse and I don't see that as changing. You also don't seem capable of long term forward planning. Sometimes the way to get from point a to point b is not with a handout or waiting for your mother to die, but by slowly reaching the steps leading up to a larger goal. You appear clueless as to how to do this.

You're 45 years old. If you don't have the life you want, you have only yourself to blame. If you want it to change, YOU change it. This whole issue of the man in FL is a boondoggle. YOU CHANGE OR YOU STAGNATE.

Guess which one you've been doing?

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ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Someone please poke me in the eye with a stick, I should know better than to even mention insurance with someone as risk adverse as the OP.

Carry on. Please pretend I didn't post OP.