UllrsIshtar
Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kittysbell
theres this constrained power women who practice etiquette hold,and im sure its through understanding and utilizing certain disadvantages to our advantage that that comes about. composure,is, what i seek.
Leaving aside the issues with you wanting a free ride, what you seek isn't realistic.
You have this very clear picture in your head of the woman you wish to be, but the problem with that is that you're presenting that image as if that is what a woman is.
It's not. Women are different.
My mother never taught me not to spit, nor do I 'have the constrained power of a woman who practices etiquette' and neither do most modern day women. Yet, you're expecting somebody else to step in, and force you to learn how to be your definition of what a woman should be, when it may very well be that their definition of a woman is totally different from yours.
The image you have in your head of the type of woman you wish to be is yours alone. Nobody knows that image. Nobody knows it's details. Nobody but you can help you become THAT woman.
Sure, some people might be able to help you learn some things, but it won't make you into that woman you have in your head. Only you can do that.
You say you lack constraint? Then why are you waiting for somebody else to impart constraint upon you? Go out there and practice being constraint, because that's the way little girls learn it: they practice and fail, practice and fail, practice and fail until they get it right. Why do you need somebody else to chid you for failing at being constraint when they don't even know how you feel you ought to be behaving? Set your own standards, and when you fail them YOU chid yourself. Nobody else can do that for you. Nobody but you can make you into the woman you wish to be.
You are shoving responsibility for your own behavior off unto other people. You're implying that because you're a woman, you need to be taught by other people what type of person you ought to be, and frankly, I resent you for that. *I* grew up with a mentally unstable mother and a father who was never home. I didn't get the finer arts of etiquette and behavior, constraint, or even self-control and self-reliability imparted on me at home.
And you know what I did? When I was a young adult, I came to the conclusion that I didn't like the person I was due to the habits I had gotten through my upbringing. So I made up a picture in my head of the woman *I* wanted to become, and I set out to become that person. I didn't sit around waiting for somebody else to come along and teach me. I didn't assume that because my parents had failed to mold me into the person I wanted to be it was now somebody else's responsibility to make sure that it happened. *I* went out there and changed myself.
It was and is, a long ongoing process, and I don't even know if I'll ever be satisfied with who I become. As I change, the image of who I want to be keeps evolving as well, but at the same time, I'm getting closer and closer to my ideal self every day.
If I can do that, so can you. Especially if you're a woman, cause Lord knows there are few things in this world as stubborn as a woman who sets her mind on something...
_____________________________
I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for
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RE: 50s style household - 
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