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ORIGINAL: MariaB

I think a candle lit vigil is for the family left behind. If I lost a child to suicide, whilst I may be angry amongst a whole array of emotions, I wouldn't want to witness anger in others towards my child. It would comfort me to know they cared.

I just read an article that says suicide is usually an impulsive act. When survivors of violent suicides were interviewed and asked, "when did you decide and how long from your decision did it take to commit the act?" the majority of answers were between 5 and 30 seconds. They also found those survivors to have very impulsive personalities.

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ORIGINAL: xgender

I've been dealing with depression as a consumer and as an advocate for more than 30 years. Suck it up is insensitive - I don't care how you slice it. And if you think it isn't, then I maintain you have not seen the true depths of depression.

It is the very nature of clinical depression that one cannot possibly "suck it up". Would you say that to someone who has pneumonia? Cancer? Don't say it someone who is depressed enough to kill themselves or you may find yourself the straw that kills the friend you're trying to help...

As to your son, I can't imagine. As to your lot in life, you're not the only one that lives with hell...

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ORIGINAL: MariaB

I just read an article that says suicide is usually an impulsive act. When survivors of violent suicides were interviewed and asked, "when did you decide and how long from your decision did it take to commit the act?" the majority of answers were between 5 and 30 seconds. They also found those survivors to have very impulsive personalities.

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ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I just read an article that says suicide is usually an impulsive act. When survivors of violent suicides were interviewed and asked, "when did you decide and how long from your decision did it take to commit the act?" the majority of answers were between 5 and 30 seconds. They also found those survivors to have very impulsive personalities.

yes, that is what I believe it is, for most (but not those in physical pain or terminal where they make a more logical decision).. As I said in a previous post, if people wait 5 or 10 minutes the feeling subsides from the peak & you become more rational/sane (in my experience)...

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ORIGINAL: tj444

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ORIGINAL: MariaB

I just read an article that says suicide is usually an impulsive act. When survivors of violent suicides were interviewed and asked, "when did you decide and how long from your decision did it take to commit the act?" the majority of answers were between 5 and 30 seconds. They also found those survivors to have very impulsive personalities.

yes, that is what I believe it is, for most (but not those in physical pain or terminal where they make a more logical decision).. As I said in a previous post, if people wait 5 or 10 minutes the feeling subsides from the peak & you become more rational/sane (in my experience)...

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ORIGINAL: TheBanshee

quote:

ORIGINAL: xgender

I've been dealing with depression as a consumer and as an advocate for more than 30 years. Suck it up is insensitive - I don't care how you slice it. And if you think it isn't, then I maintain you have not seen the true depths of depression.

It is the very nature of clinical depression that one cannot possibly "suck it up". Would you say that to someone who has pneumonia? Cancer? Don't say it someone who is depressed enough to kill themselves or you may find yourself the straw that kills the friend you're trying to help...

As to your son, I can't imagine. As to your lot in life, you're not the only one that lives with hell...

"Suck it up" may be a little insensitive, but so is leaving your brains splattered against a wall for your wife to clean up. Yes I would say it to someone who had cancer or pneumonia if they were giving up and they still had a good chance to live - but as I said early on in my post there is a big difference with someone letting go who is already dying and someone who actively ends their life.

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ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

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ORIGINAL: MariaB

This morning I witnessed a suicide. I was walking my dog along the river bank when I saw a man jump off a very high bridge. My first reaction was to call the emergency services. I was unaware that there were already police on the bridge trying to talk him out of it. The bridge is a popular suicide spot and as far as I know, nobody has survived the jump.

Many years ago I was the victim of suicide from someone very close to me. I understand this awful curb of emotions those left behind go through. I know what his family are about to go through, if indeed he has a family.

I know a lot of people think that suicide is a selfish act or a cowards way out. Whilst I fully understand the anger, the victims of losing someone to suicide go through, I can't help but think, how bad things must be before someone can end it all, especially in such a violent and certain way? I understand cries for help but a violent end isn't a cry for help. I think a person has to be very brave to end it all in such a way.

This morning there were suddenly a lot of people on the bank of the river and in the river. Peoples immediate reactions were "how terrible" and "how sad" and not the reactions we normally hear regarding a suicide.

I'm interested to know how others feel regarding this topic? do you believe they are selfish/cowards or do you think that perhaps they were just so desperate and couldn't see a tomorrow?

Suicide.

A pussy's way out and yet...terrifying....mentally disturbing....something that defies mental acuity.

It leaves loved ones angry....unfulfilled...left languishing.

Your children (if you have some) are left...doesn't need much more added to that. And your mate, she or he is an adult...everyone expects her or him to adjust....they can't because....you were a pussy. Tell the truth..in some fashion. On the other hand, if you are awash with anguish, at least leave a letter because, if you produced...you owe those you left behind.

It's awful.

Can't add to that because I've never been there. I don't know.

I couldn't possibly add to this.

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1


So until you walk in someone else's shoes, you cannot say anything.

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I've known people that tried it and failed (both my children).

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However, I promised myself I would never do it until my parents are gone.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse



I suspect the truth is, some of us are stronger than others of us.

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ORIGINAL: dcnovice

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However, I promised myself I would never do it until my parents are gone.

I've made the same promise to myself.

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ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse



I suspect the truth is, some of us are stronger than others of us.

This. I believe that one sentence sums up a lot of shit in our lives, and if we could remember it, we would all be a bit more understanding.

That said I think suicide can be an only way out, a chickens way out, even a final act of drama in a drama filled life. I have known all 3 of those personally, or at least that is my opinion of why they did it, they are not here to confirm, so I guess I could be wrong. It did happen that one time in 1978 .

I have never been one to be swayed by things that celebrities do, but I have to say that Robin Williams committing suicide mellowed my views on it a good bit. No idea why, I guess I was amazed that someone that "happy" could reach the depths that left no alternative but to end their own life.

Me, I drive myself insane worrying about dying sometimes, so suicide has never crossed my mind. If I were living in pain, that could change I guess but I really do not see me ever having the guts to do it.

Hopefully the happy pills will keep working for me.

I do hope that anyone on these boards that I have chatted with for a long time, even if it had not always been pleasant exchanges, I hope they would feel comfortable to reach out to me or someone else, either in a thread or in private.

And I know it aint Friday, but fuck it.

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I do not believe that suicide is not a brave act, but an act of eternal hopelessness; meaning that one can never truly know the depth of the struggle that lies within that person or when that person says enough.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Interesting read this thread.

I've known people that tried it and failed (both my children). I've know people that tried and succeeded. I've known quite a few people that have talked about it, whether they've ever tried and failed I don't know. I live in constant expectation of a phone call about one person I love dearly.

I used to have quite strong feelings about those that do it. The whole coward bit. However, my feelings have mellowed. One, I don't have strong fearful feelings about death. It's part of life and none of us are going to escape it. I've come to conclude if someone really wants to opt out, that's their choice. I'd just prefer to not have to deal with a mess because of it. A very selfish approach I have towards it..........."go ahead and do it, just make it a nice clean tidy thing would ya..."

I don't have any religious mindset that affects my thoughts.......the whole 'sin' business. Meh.

I suspect the truth is, some of us are stronger than others of us. Some of us have mental illness and a built in book of excuses, others manage to take responsibility for their personal well being and get the help they need to soldier through it. Some people seem to relish being perpetual victims of life. It's all they know, it's their comfort zone. Regardless of how painful it is. Others recognize they don't have to life that way and go in search of a better path.

Call me cold hearted and lacking empathy, I may even agree with you. But I figure there are already too many of us humans on this big rock. If a few want to jump off a bridge and become fish food, or splatter their brains all over the rose garden, making especially big colourful blossoms the next season, I guess that's their right. Truth be told, I'd rather some people do it instead of constantly complaining about how horrible their life is when it's obvious they are creating a helluva lot of their own horrible. When they have nothing but excuses as to why they constantly make bad choices and end up suffering the consequences.

Truth is, it's usually not the whining self inflicting ones that do it. They'd rather piss and moan and go looking for sympathy.