quote:

Surely, out of the 10 men, there would be one she would "click" with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom
I don't understand why a woman won't meet a local man, say at a coffee shop, just to see if they "click." It just takes 20 minutes out of her schedule. She could probably meet 10 men in one week. Surely, out of the 10 men, there would be one she would "click" with. Yet, most women don't meet any men and then they complain that they can't find anyone. That's just crazy.

Now if a woman said, "I met 10 different men last week at a coffee shop and I didn't "click" with any of them" then that would be a different story.

However, most women meet ZERO men and complain that they can't meet anyone.

Don't you agree?

Allow me to de-mansplain this for you.

You don't understand why women won't agree to meet YOU. . . . How soon do you bring up the subject? Men who are in a rush come across as desperate and needy. Big turn-off.

It may just take 20 minutes out of YOUR schedule. You just pull on your wife-beater T, comb your hair (maybe), do a quick dry electric Gillette once-over (maybe).
Many women, on the other hand, have to plan in advance with getting our hair styled or touched up. Perhaps even a new manicure.
We may have a favorite outfit that has to be drycleaned. Or, there are some who will want to pick up a new piece for the season to update their wardrobe, shop for a stylish pair of new shoes. . . . Put our car through the carwash. . . .
Therefore, we are assessing in our minds, are YOU WORTH going to the trouble to meet?

Meeting men is not like having a revolving door at Grand Central Station.

As for your statement that "most women don't meet any men" -- let me rephrase that for you. Most women don't want to meet just any man.
Further, on what basis are you alleging that "most women meet ZERO men"? How would you know this?
Are you sure you aren't hearing women say that they are meeting NO men they have any interest in? Men who turn out to be ZEROs in terms of what they're looking for, that is.

So rather than pointing the finger at "most" women for not accommodating YOUR whims or your ass-backwards way of going about things, you should be asking yourself what it is that YOU are doing wrong in making yourself not meet-worthy?

Btw, if a lady told me that she met 10 men last week and didn't click with any of them, she would know that she was doing something wrong and spinning her wheels.

Your approach may be to take shots in the dark and not place much value on your time, or not care about wasting gas and other limited resources, since you choose to play the odds, figuring that you might have 1 chance in 10 so what the hell.
That isn't how "most" women approach life in such a cavalier fashion -- to us, 1 in 10 odds of success are sucky odds. We like for the deck to be stacked in our favor. (And so will a man who has reached any acceptable level of emotional maturity.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom
Surely, out of the 10 men, there would be one she would "click" with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom
However, most women meet ZERO men and complain that they can't meet anyone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom
However, most women meet ZERO men and complain that they can't meet anyone.

Most women meet zero men?
Where did you (the OP) get this statistic?

And this 1 out of 10 statistic?
Where'd you (the OP) get that?

The DreamLady response is the one the OP should read most since it adds the most on-topic value for your question.

I don't think I can add much value to what she wrote other than to mention to the OP that most women "can get" more men than they can possibly handle.

So, taking a different approach to the same solution than DreamLady did (since she fleshed out her approach rather well), it seems you're thinking like a man, where "can get" means, (to you?) can "get laid" or something to that effect?

Or, perhaps ... you mean "can get" in the same light of, perhaps, will "settle for" or something like that?
Is that right?

Well, if so, any woman can settle for almost any guy - which they all know.
You see, while it has value to you (and to me), it has very little value to them.

Women can "settle for" or women can "get laid" by just about any guy (yes, even the one best one guy out of every ten).

What I find interesting is that I think the actual ratio of decent men for "most women" is something like 1 in a hundred when they're all young (men and women in their twenties and thirties) and then it drops down to something like one in a thousand after that.

Where am "I" getting "my" statistics?
I'm pulling them out of thin air - so hear out my reasoning as I'm taking the statistical approach to things for you here.

What I'm trying to tell you (and which DreamLady did far more eloquently) is that, women don't think like men do.

Statistically speaking, "most women" are looking for something rather special in the one guy that they want which includes a LOT of qualities, which only about one man in something like a thousand possess at this stage of the game (and that rules both you and me out, just based on the numbers alone).

Hence, I think you (the OP) need to rethink your 1 in 10 frog-to-prince ratio by adding a minimum of one zero, and more likely, two.

That, my friend, is a LOT of 20-minute coffee dates!

---

And, oh, by the way, as noted, since when is a coffee date only "20" minutes elapsed time?

For me, even if we assume no shower-and-a-shave, just to get to a local Starbucks would be a minimum of 30 minutes (more if there is traffic).
Then you have to wait, roughly something like ten or more minutes for the other person to arrive (since I believe the man should always be there when she arrives).
Add another five or ten minutes in line.

Then, 20 minutes to talk? What? 20 minutes?
I spend more time talking with random people in the checkout line at Safeway than that.
It's never gonna be less than an hour, and far often far more than that.
Even then, she doesn't know what she needs to know about you.

NOTE: You may have "assessed" her in 10 seconds flat - but she's needing an assessment of you which entails far greater detail.

In short... No way is a woman gonna find out what she needs to find out about you in that 20 minutes you've graciously allotted her.

OP has it down to 20 minutes on average, because he figures
10-15 minutes to get to Starbucks (he'll of course pick a place requiring the least effort on his part),
2 minutes of waiting time will max out his patience before he books,
2 seconds to size up the woman's HWP-BMI index before pretending he is some other random dude who resembles how he described himself (and what he's wearing [what color wife-beater T])
5 minutes for one or the other to get their DUTCH beverage
which leaves roughly 3-5 minutes of actual conversation before he spaces out.
No, wait.
There's that 5-minute bathroom break.
No time for conversation. Nice save!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom



However, most women meet ZERO men and complain that they can't meet anyone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom
I don't understand why a woman won't meet a local man, say at a coffee shop, just to see if they "click." It just takes 20 minutes out of her schedule. She could probably meet 10 men in one week. Surely, out of the 10 men, there would be one she would "click" with. Yet, most women don't meet any men and then they complain that they can't find anyone. That's just crazy.

Now if a woman said, "I met 10 different men last week at a coffee shop and I didn't "click" with any of them" then that would be a different story.

However, most women meet ZERO men and complain that they can't meet anyone.

Don't you agree?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom
Blah blah yada yada yada...I had no idea..... <snip>

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom
This is what I like about forums - there is always something to learn.
I had no idea it took women so much time, energy and effort just to meet someone at a coffee shop.