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Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 1:37:32 AM

marksl

Posts: 42
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Does anyone view this as all a game or is it just me. I have tried to see the deep meaningfull zen like qualities some people see in bdsm but i am at a loss. Instead i see manipluation child like arrogance but most of all fantasy. Somehow if you learn about bdsm buy a whip you are a Dom/me a superior human being incapable to listen to anyone else. If your a sub its hard to reply as your always on your knees. Sure its sterotypes but is this all it is?

Now before hit me with the deep spiritual ramblings on what bdsm should be. Lets be realistic its based in sexual context right. We all do this to get our rocks off. Pretending this is more than it is i want to learn so one day i can say yeah like a come down from ectasy i touched a bdsm god i felt the zen or is all that bullshit?

Post #: 1

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 2:01:59 AM

srllile7

Posts: 75
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

Okay well I'm not going to give you spiritual crap as you put nor even touch the game or lifestyle thought. But i can say from my self this is a stereo type. What rubbed me the wrong way was your comment on this being entirely sex. That drives me up the wall. The day to day D/s relationship is far far more important to me then the sexual anything. Yes i am being dominated in the bedroom but this makes up such a small fraction of the time. And no im not looking for a day to day routine of running around naked and waiting at the front door in a kneeling position for my Master/Dom to come home. In stead its simply having a dominant person there whom i listen to respect and follow his wishes. Not only sexual wishes but wishes such as stay home tonight and watch this movie with me, its time to sit and talk, wear that yellow dress to our dinner tonight etc etc etc. The domination could be anything from you do this or else to you know that this is a bad decision to make.
This life like anything else has a vast array of people all of whom are seeking different things out. If you dont like then dont be involved, if you just want to get your sexual jollies get your sexual jollies, if you want to be celibate and live a D/s relationship be celibate and live that relationship.

_____________________________

I am young and idealistic if you do not agree with what I have to say; wait till tomorrow I may just have changed my stance on things by then.

(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 2

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 2:45:19 AM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marksl

Does anyone view this as all a game or is it just me.
I have tried to see the deep meaningfull zen like qualities some people see in bdsm but i am at a loss.

Instead i see manipluation child like arrogance but most of all fantasy. Somehow if you learn about bdsm buy a whip you are a Dom/me a superior human being incapable to listen to anyone else.

If your a sub its hard to reply as your always on your knees. Sure its sterotypes but is this all it is?

Now before hit me with the deep spiritual ramblings on what bdsm should be.

Lets be realistic its based in sexual context right. We all do this to get our rocks off. Pretending this is more than it is i want to learn so one day i can say yeah like a come down from ectasy i touched a bdsm god i felt the zen or is all that bullshit?

DearMarks ... and all....

Well, you seem pretty certain
in your evaluation of tens of thousands
of humans you have never met or spoken to.

>>I have tried to see the deep meaningfull zen like qualities some people see in bdsm but i am at a loss.

You don't see how other people have meaningful lives
by living strange, passionate, deviant experiences..... ok, why should you?

>>i see manipluation child like arrogance
You must have a great deal of experience, eh?
Now, is your post a demonstration of your mature humility?

>>its based in sexual context right. We all do this to get our rocks off
For me, and for those I love,
dominance/surrender is not really about sex at all.
But then I'd have to get "Zen-like" and what would be the point of that?

I wonder what such a wise person as yourself,
with all these profound insights into the motivations of strangers
is doing slumming around here.

For me, I'm afraid I'm just not smart enough
to really grasp all the wisdom, erudition, and brilliance
you have to offer.

DD

(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 3

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 2:46:09 AM

Saraheli

Posts: 178
Joined: 1/2/2006
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wrong account...too early to think

_____________________________

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Look so sweet I wanna cry
Here in this bed we have nothing to hide
Come on, don't you want to try
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If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 4

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 2:48:31 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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There, that's better

Yes it is all a game, life is just a game.

But what a grand game it is, you get to make up the rules, and you can change them as you go along, and there are no winners or losers, its always a tie.

< Message edited by Arpig -- 8/1/2006 2:49:00 AM >

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(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 5

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 2:54:34 AM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

I'm not completely sure if I understand your question but, to my mind, BDSM is a game. It is an activity/"play time" in which people engage.

ondage [D]iscipline {s}ado-[M]asochism is not [D]ominance/{s}ubmission. To me, where the "deep, spiritual, ramblings" come in is when you go into the realm of D/s.

D/s is so many different things to so many different people so, I won't go into my own "deep, spiritual, ramblings".

BDSM is sexual in context. I believe it also has to do with "testing the level of submission" but, that presupposes that the submissive is not a masochist and, therefore, enduring something they'd rather not; just to please their master.

But, you bring up "the game", "the fantasy" of it all. That part is a game.

Just one more thing: buying/owning a whip doesn't make someone a "Dom(me)". When I brush my teeth, I do so in a dominant manner because I am a dominant-type person. I was a dominant long before I raised a flogger at anyone and the truth is: I could go the rest of my life without ever raising another one. That doesn't mean I'm giving up my membership card to the I.B.o.D. (International Brotherhood of Dominants).

< Message edited by Satyr6406 -- 8/1/2006 2:55:55 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 6

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 2:57:12 AM

Estring

Posts: 3314
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Well, I think there is more to BDSM than just a game, but I do think that many take themselves way too seriously.

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(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 7

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 2:57:20 AM

WayWardSoul

Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Does anyone view this as all a game or is it just me. I have tried to see the deep meaningfull zen like qualities some people see in bdsm but i am at a loss.

So you want to be a bottom in the bedroom, just put that in your profile and go from there. Others see it as more then just that.

_____________________________

WWS

You look like two miles of bad road ~Foghorn Leghorn~

(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 8

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 2:57:51 AM

amoretta

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: marksl

Now before hit me with the deep spiritual ramblings on what bdsm should be. Lets be realistic its based in sexual context right. We all do this to get our rocks off. Pretending this is more than it is i want to learn so one day i can say yeah like a come down from ectasy i touched a bdsm god i felt the zen or is all that bullshit?

There are a couple of people I know who I will paraphrase.. One man says something along the lines of, "I came to lifestyle cause it got me hard, and here I found spirituality." another says, "I came to lifestyle because of my spirituality and found out it got my cock hard."

Either way.. yes at the root of it, it gets us hard, or wet, or both.. whatever. But there is also a beautiful spiritual side to it for those that desire to find it, embrace it, and so forth. As Arpig stated, "life is just a game." For those that believe that.. yes, its a game, its a serious life path, its spirit and beauty and hard cocks and wet pussies and self discovery. It is whatever one makes of it and as it is so complex.. anything can be found in it.

Lifestyle is a interesting cross section of society. Here one will find anyone in the socioeconomic structure and from all walks of life and in all the varying degrees of incorporating BDSM into their lives so for some its a silly game on a Saturday night of dressup, for others it is life itself... It is not all stereotypes thankfully although I have had my cynical moments of feeling like one of a handful of people within it that actually possesses a brain as well. Thankfully I am having an optimistic streak lately and think more people of substance seem to be around lately so yay for that and if you really desire to learn more of the zen happy stuff there are people you can meet and workshops you could attend, even some retreats I can think of that are beautiful and wonderful if you want to go the path of zen-ish BDSM. :)

I hope you find your optimistic side again soon, I think we all have our cynical moments now and then within this life.

Warmly,
Amoretta

_____________________________

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 9

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 2:59:47 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

. We all do this to get our rocks off

Maybe You do - I sure don't
Sex is easy to have If that is all I wanted - that is pretty low on my list of what I desire from a D/s M/s relationship - some people take sex way to seriously there is so much more in and about a relationship

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 8/1/2006 3:02:16 AM >

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 10

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 3:05:49 AM

mellian

Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline

I am not sure about spirituality, but apart from the obvious turn on of some aspects, more about how it feels right, feel happier, and better, to have a purpose and such. So until I can continue to further explore it, occupied in the meantime with work and volunteer stuff.

-mellian

_____________________________

Since my pic link doesn't work, here is my profile:

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/50276/details.htm

(in reply to amoretta)

Post #: 11

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 3:08:12 AM

amoretta

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Satyr6406

Just one more thing: buying/owning a whip doesn't make someone a "Dom(me)". When I brush my teeth, I do so in a dominant manner because I am a dominant-type person. I was a dominant long before I raised a flogger at anyone ....

Ooh.. thank you thank you thank you.. I understand what you were trying to say Satyr but oh thank you for the giggle at that analogy. I wasn't aware there was a submissive style of brushing one's teeth.. perhaps the teeth are the submissive parties in this relationship?

Oh the beautiful slaphappy creativeness this board produces at this hour of the morning..

*poke poke nudge nudge*

Giggling,
Amoretta

_____________________________

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

(in reply to Satyr6406)

Post #: 12

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 3:15:58 AM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amoretta

I wasn't aware there was a submissive style of brushing one's teeth.. perhaps the teeth are the submissive parties in this relationship?

Giggling,
Amoretta

LOL! The "submissive way" of brushing one's teeth is however one's master/dominant determines that it should be done! Ha!

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to amoretta)

Post #: 13

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 3:18:58 AM

amoretta

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Satyr6406

quote:

ORIGINAL: amoretta

I wasn't aware there was a submissive style of brushing one's teeth.. perhaps the teeth are the submissive parties in this relationship?

Giggling,
Amoretta

LOL! The "submissive way" of brushing one's teeth is however one's master/dominant determines that it should be done! Ha!

Ha.. you found a loophole, damn creative sadist ;)

_____________________________

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

(in reply to Satyr6406)

Post #: 14

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 3:23:48 AM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amoretta

Ha.. you found a loophole, damn creative sadist ;)

Only a mental one, thank you.

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to amoretta)

Post #: 15

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 3:29:22 AM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

I just read your profile, Amoretta. *takes out his "union" ID and puts on his "Dom badge"* Now, submit and admit I'm right! LOL!

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to amoretta)

Post #: 16

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 3:58:21 AM

amoretta

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Satyr6406

I just read your profile, Amoretta. *takes out his "union" ID and puts on his "Dom badge"* Now, submit and admit I'm right! LOL!

LOL... you're cute.

Hah.. close reading Satyr.. very important. *looks at your badge and nods* Yep.. its a piece of paper with your name on it, OooOOohh...

Cause everything that is in print is true... right?

The day that I blindly submit to a badge.. ugh. Well beyond Mr. Police Officer.. cause well, the uniforms hot and stuff..

Anyways, yes.. point is.. Yeh I dun submit like that, but its always worth a shot.. hehe.

And... done being the attention whore on this particular thread.........now. ;)

< Message edited by amoretta -- 8/1/2006 3:59:10 AM >

_____________________________

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

(in reply to Satyr6406)

Post #: 17

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 4:18:39 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marksl
Does anyone view this as all a game or is it just me.

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,

Even the Bard could see it, so it isn't just you.
However I doubt you where meaning it in quite the same manner.
For me, sure BDSM play is just that, play, fun, nothing serious... D/s however is something natural to me. No zen-like crapolla, I have a Dominant personality, in a relationship I take the Dominant role, I am suited to having (And tend to attract) partners who are submissive in nature. Nothing fancy, nothing deep, just who I am and who she is. No games, no masks and certainly not just sex. Simply what works, for me and for those who end up involved with me.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 18

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 4:25:10 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

marksl,

Wow. All of a sudden, a voice of reason. A game, built solely upon a sexual context. You have hit the nail on the head for the majority of us. Now, of course by 'us' I'm referring to the people who 'say' that they are a portion of this Lifestyle. For those who've been around the block for the last week or two we call refer to those as wannabe's, weekend warriors, trolls, snerts, and to make things clearer for you, wankers. And you are ever so right in assuming that those people are in the majority.

Then, there are the few of us left over. The ones that see things a little differently. The ones that got hit in the head when someone in the majority were throwing stones. Clearly, we're not right, by your standards.

I'll quit speaking for a group and now refer to myself. I've had my taste of vanilla relationships and I've seen this as a far better way. I've seen partnerships where the communication level would put the vast majority of vanilla couples to shame. I've seen respect given on a person-by-person level that you would not often see in the 'real world'. I go to work; I pay my bills; for the rest of the 'real world' I say 'pass'. I might say some irreverent things in regular life and here on the boards, but only half the cynicism is real. I value my identity as someone who prefers kink in their life as probably the most important thing to me.

I serve a purpose and a genuine, human, emotional and psychological need to a person who requires someone like me in their life (when I have a partner). I make their world a better, safer, more comfortable place. Sexual? Not necessarily for me. I will grant 'sensual'. I believe far more in giving than receiving; I don't require my own ego to get me by. I thrive on the building up of others. I enjoy the control that is so positively and easily granted me.

I'm not sure what life experiences and what BDSM experiences have led you, after somewhere between 2 and 3 years, to draw these conclusions. I just can't imagine what you could have learned in that time to make these conclusions.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to marksl)

Post #: 19

RE: Who Takes this Game Seriously? - 8/1/2006 5:45:55 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

I've had similar conversations with a few people. (some did NOT appreciate my views) I told one that I simply couldn't take anything seriously that had sissy maids and pony girls. Sorry, but I just can't. To me it is an entertainment.

Does that mean it's a meaningless form of entertainment? Say like watching TV? I don't think so. To me it offers the possibility for a great deal of personal satisfaction and growth. The opportunity to bond and connect to other human beings deeply and intimately. It tests your limits, your endurance, your thought processes, attitutes and beliefs, and in that way be very spiritual.

Is it spiritual for everyone, or does everyone have to view it as their spirituality to get something out of it? I don't think so. In fact, I think spiritual growth just happens. It happens when we aren't looking, when we aren't trying and when we just live and experience life, because honestly, life is the greatest spirituality of all. So I take umbrage at those who would judge me as less because D/s is not my spirituality, just as I would someone who judged me because I was not "saved".

What I DO take seriously are relationships and commitments but that is another aspect of "serious" over "game". Yes it is a game, but it is one in which both players, in order to get the most out of it, must be serious in their commitment to it. In the long run it all depends on what you want from the end game. Do you want a long term sense of accomplishment and a deep bonded intimate relationship with another person, or is it a pleasurable activity you enjoy? Either is fine just be up front with potential partners and find people with similar views.

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 20

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