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Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 9:09:13 PM   
Aimtoplease101


Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline 		One common distinction between male dominated v. female dominated relationships seems to be the dominant's attitude towards having intercourse with the sub. Specifically, many female dommes seem to restrict, or even completely deny, intercourse with their male subs, and some will restrict the sub's orgasms of any sort. Conversely, most male doms appear to feature intercourse with their female subs prominently in their D/s relationship, and often enjoy bringing the sub to orgasm.

Any thoughts about this? Is it simply true that, generally speaking, men crave intercourse more than most women? Is there something inherently male domination oriented about penetrative intercourse? Other theories?

Regards, ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.
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RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 9:17:23 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

One common distinction between male dominated v. female dominated relationships seems to be the dominant's attitude towards having intercourse with the sub. Specifically, many female dommes seem to restrict, or even completely deny, intercourse with their male subs, and some will restrict the sub's orgasms of any sort. Conversely, most male doms appear to feature intercourse with their female subs prominently in their D/s relationship, and often enjoy bringing the sub to orgasm.

Any thoughts about this? Is it simply true that, generally speaking, men crave intercourse more than most women? Is there something inherently male domination oriented about penetrative intercourse? Other theories?

Regards, ATP


Males tend to have conventional vanilla views of D/s in regard to sex. Most do it to have easy acess to it. They fuck as thier perogative.

In my experience, many Dommes have a feminist attitude that allows them the freedom to break away from this vanilla male usage-so they enjoy denying the males intercourse.

They make NOT fucking thier perogative.

Which is why most snicker at males trying to Dominate them.

I have to admit to admiring Female Tops more for this than male ones. It's actually perverting the so called "natural order".

Sublimating it for personal pleasure, rather than giving into it.

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)
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RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 9:18:43 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Well, not to stand your theory completely on its ear, but sexual intercourse is part of my realtionship with the boy.  And he reaches orgasm whenever I choose to allow him to.
I do restrict his orgasms when he is on his own, I dont allow him t freely masturbate, however sexually I dont plan on placing any restrictions short of If I dont you cant.
But then again, I often seem to identify coser to how male doms do things than female dommes...

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)
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RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 9:27:23 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		I'm Dominant.

I don't like to be controlled by my glands any more than I want to be by a woman.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 9:28:41 PM   
sctiepipn


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/28/2006
Status: offline 		I hate to say this and sound stupid but just my thoughts maybe it will be stated correctly later and I can remove the rest.  For women compared to men.  Yes men think more about the intercourse side if it, and as a lot of women do like the suspese of prolonging it the absense makes the heart grow fonder aspect.  Meaning the more they hold it off the better it will be.  There are some women out there that like it just as much and some a lot more than men do.  I am relatively new to this lifestyle and still an experimentor/ learning about it.  It was brought to my attention by a friend in Oklahoma, when I stayed with her in route from Georgia to Cali. At any rate I still ask her a lot about it and try to learn from my talks with her.  Back to the point.  To end my rambling,  a lot of women like it just as much as men but also the control factor could be there also.  Sorry if I boored the shit out of everybody while trying to get that out and no words were deleted/killled after the typing of this note/novel

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
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RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 9:30:35 PM   
sctiepipn


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/28/2006
Status: offline 		sorry forgot I have had GF's that have wanted it just as much as me, although they were relatively vanilla relationships, but I also tried to incorperate a little of the bdsm into it as I could to learn and liven it up.

(in reply to sctiepipn)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 9:34:25 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Perhaps there is something to what you theorize, I have seen many dommes post about not having sex with their male subs, but most of these that I have read were in some way professionals at least part of the time. I have read a few domme profiles that state they are looking for a partnership with a dom to help them dominate their male subs.. only having sex with the dom... it is not part of the lifestyle I am at all familiar with, so I read with interest, log it for later, and move on.

I am glad my Daddy loves intercourse... hopefully he will remain "typical" in that regard.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)
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RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 9:50:05 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		I would certainly have sex with a submissive who I was in a relationship with. 

I will not entertain the notion of having sex with every person posing as a submissive who sends me mail.  That I've observed, most inexperienced submissive men (and some of the experienced ones) assume that fuck is a part of the D/s package.  My stance of not having sex is partly to weed out those folks who think BDSM is a quick route to sex.  But D/s (for me), while riding on sexual energy, doesn't always have to culminate in one or both partners getting off, either.  I'm very drawn to non-sexual service. 

Perhaps the clearest way of expressing my point of view is that while D/s can pave the way to physical intimacy, it does not presuppose it.

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 9:54:45 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

I would certainly have sex with a submissive who I was in a relationship with. 

I will not entertain the notion of having sex with every person posing as a submissive who sends me mail.  That I've observed, most inexperienced submissive men (and some of the experienced ones) assume that fuck is a part of the D/s package.  My stance of not having sex is partly to weed out those folks who think BDSM is a quick route to sex.  But D/s (for me), while riding on sexual energy, doesn't always have to culminate in one or both partners getting off, either.  I'm very drawn to non-sexual service. 

Perhaps the clearest way of expressing my point of view is that while D/s can pave the way to physical intimacy, it does not presuppose it.


Denying sex, while allowing a sub to get to know you in service, is a VERY good way to seperate the servants from the sensual bottoms.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 10:00:10 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Sensual is fine ... a slave to his own orgasms and kinks is not.

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 10:01:36 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

Sensual is fine ... a slave to his own orgasms and kinks is not.


I know. Bottoming from the top to a fetishsist is SO unfullfilling.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 10:05:43 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Homestead, you're definately a different kind of Dominant than me!
You mentioned in another thread that sex isn't that important to you, well I'm the opposite, "hyper-sexual" as you put it I guess.
But that's ok, there's all kinds out here.

I also use orgasm denial to deprive a sub sometimes for hours.
The think about me having sex with a sub is that she exists for MY pleasure.
I'll fuck her when *I* want to and she can like it or not like it, I really don't care.
Do I like to give a sub orgasms? Hell yes and more than one!
I like to see her body spasm from orgasm after orgasm until she is exhausted and laying in a sweaty heap.
Until her clit is so sensitive loud music can make her cross her legs.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 10:10:04 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		That's fine popeye.

I used to be pretty much like you are now..My tastes changed over the years as the mental side grew more attractive to me than the physical. I could go back to doing things the way you do at any time. But that would be living in the past to me.

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 10:12:05 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Let me just make sure I understand what we're talking about.

When we say "intercourse," we mean fucking, right?

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 10:13:10 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Homestead, where did I say that I don't like the psychological part of  B&D?

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 10:13:56 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		I almost wish I were a little more fetish-driven.  My primary interest is surrender, and I find it disruptive when someone starts telling me his fantasies (even when they are in areas I like).  I respect people's rights to have their kinks fulfilled ... I just don't want to be the person who is their short-order cook.

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 11:48:13 PM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Let me just make sure I understand what we're talking about.

When we say "intercourse," we mean fucking, right?


< holding ribs while laughing >

~Big

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 11:50:59 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Gee, I feel so "unevolved."
Homestead, so if a sub thinks she's going to have sex with you then she's shit out of luck?

(in reply to bignipples2share)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 11:54:09 PM   
NastyDaddy


Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

... Is it simply true that, generally speaking, men crave intercourse more than most women? Is there something inherently male domination oriented about penetrative intercourse? Other theories?



Generally speaking, one could say if that were simply true... men would have very few women to satisfy their cravings for intercourse with.  Men would have to satisfy their wild cravings for intercourse with watermelons, sheep, zen's blow-up woman, or each other until the less than most women were available. The lines of men would be long for those few women who also enjoyed intercourse.

One could say male dominants tend to reinforce their feelings of superiority by using intercourse and giving/allowing pleasure... while female dominants tend to reinforce their feelings of superiority by witholding intercourse and disallowing pleasure.

Either way you look at it, male dominants always tend to find female subs and vice-versa... while female dominants always tend to find male subs and vice-versa. This "order of selection" seems to be paralleled somewhat in the vanilla world where you will find male dominated pairings/households as well as female dominated pairings/households. 

BDSM lifestyles simply allow the dominant of either gender to practice what they feel and wish, uncontested. 

_____________________________

"You may be right, I may be crazy... but I may just be the lunatic you're looking for!"

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/29/2006 11:55:28 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I have sex with our boy(s).  I like sex, why should I deny myself?  I determine when and how, but ... yeah, I see no need to not have sex.

I know some have a strict 'no sex' rule, but that's not for us ... or at least, not for me.

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 20
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