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RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 12:00:05 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I don't recall myself ever with-holding sex from someone I was deeply involved with, if I knew they really wanted that from me. I enjoy it to much myself, as well. But I do see that "message" still put to young women, sometimes - to "not give in" , etc. but now that everyone who really wants it can have access to birth control, I don't see much of a reason for that, really, except that some people are still perhaps opposed to birth control, maybe. I know there are emotional ramifications to having sex too early (for teen-agers), that they might not be prepared to deal with. But - aside from that, I think the U.S. is somewhat a prudish country. Of course, I was a virgin until I was 21, but since I went to an all girls' high school and didn't date until the middle of my college years, this wasn't that much of a challenge for me. And I didn't consider myself "easy" or any such nonsense, either.

My sister, however, might take a different view - she is a divorce attorney, and also chases ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands for her clients, to collect overdue, unpaid child support payments.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/30/2006 12:11:18 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 21

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 12:17:12 AM

abytchgoddess4u

Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive
I almost wish I were a little more fetish-driven. My primary interest is surrender, and I find it disruptive when someone starts telling me his fantasies (even when they are in areas I like). I respect people's rights to have their kinks fulfilled ... I just don't want to be the person who is their short-order cook.

Oh God/dess, I totally relate! I am so fucking sick and tired of being seen as a means to an end. Frigging fetishists!

_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 22

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 12:37:51 AM

cynthiamarie

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Bluefield, WV, USA
Status: offline

*Likes the reference to a short order cook*

I'm looking to have sex with a male sub...but MY male sub, not just any of the thousands of available subs I've chatted with. I've had a hard line about not having sex with someone who only bottoms for me without being mine...*sighs*. The jury is still out on that last part.

As for bottoms, I want to keep their attention the entire time they're with me...that part where they cum and say "bitch, go get me some something to eat"...um, nope, that part doesn't interest me.

Yes, I crave intercourse, but it has to be on my terms...or I can fire up my vibe or go read a book. I can also go into a shutdown mode, so if I were sub, restricting me would have made me less vulnerable. Aren't men more vulnerable when they're hard and wanting, and women more vulnerable after they've had some incredible orgasms?

Restricting male orgasms does appeal to me for many reasons, mostly because I can and it's liberating

...making someone get hard and then keeping him that way...mmm. For an LTR, I need sex.

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 23

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 12:53:21 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

When your cock get's hard, it's a natural tendency to want to fuck or have some sort of service to bring you to orgasim.

Some have viewed that by being a Dom/Domina, you get to fuck whenever you want and choose for your sub to take pleasure from it as you see fit.

Anyhow, on just males alone, the natural tendency is keep spreading seed as much as possible. After all, we don't get pregnant, we get others pregnant. This is not to say that men are more horny than women. Women are horny to but some days can vary based on there cycle. I speculate that the thought of getting pregnant has allowed women to evolve in being able to hold out longer when desireing to have sex. After all, who would want to be pregnant every time they had sex?

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 24

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 1:31:46 AM

GreyPilgrim

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline

Intercourse with a sub who`s with me does not always happen.It`s not an automatic process at all.However if they are showing signs and I want it as well then it can happen in a session, hopefully we are both feeling horny and some sexual act will follow.
The how and when is dependant on how we both feel.
This is my first post on here....and only my experience and thoughts....

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 25

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 2:03:14 AM

JeniferJuniper

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline

For me, the mental/emotional side of a relationship is far more important than the physical side - and this is probably the main difference between males and females. Call me an old cynic but my experience has been that men are only interested in "getting their end away" and quite a few are only in this lifestyle as they see it as a means to an end - be it in the Dominant or submissive role. Some men are just like randy dogs and will try and hump everything in sight, including table legs. *grins* I want to be considered first as a person - not something that has convenient hole/holes in the right place. *sits back and waits for the flac*

(in reply to GreyPilgrim)

Post #: 26

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 2:55:01 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I guess the three years and counting rule against masturbation that is imposed on me by my very male Master makes him the anomoly...

And the fact that I beg - OFTEN - for that rule to be lifted because I LIKE SEX as often as I can possibly get it even if it's just with me, ...makes me different too.

I just figured we were normal.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 8/30/2006 2:56:16 AM >

(in reply to JeniferJuniper)

Post #: 27

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 3:51:01 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Wow, i could name 2/3rds of the folks on this thread in my thank you for information. It does seem that a large contingent of Dommes do in some form engage in sex with or at least allow relief for their male subbies.

As i go through the male subbies profiles i notice that huge numbers of them list chastity as a desire. Yet Jewel and i have had many conversations on this subject trying to figure it out. While she would of course decide when and how she provides gratification for a male in her service she also believes that totally denying them would be inhumane. Not to mention as a few others have that she likes the power of controlling then inducing and seeing their release.

I have to agree with the OP that it seems that male doms for the most part include intercourse (that's fucking for LAM, lol) as part of the D/s or M/s relationship. I do not think that a male in this house would see as much sex as i do, but nor would they be totally denied.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 28

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 4:20:39 AM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

My view of WIITWD, I would consider, is quite a bit different from what one would consider a 'typical' male dom.

First, sex as in intercourse as in fucking (just so we all understand each other) is not a requirement anywhere in our Lifestyle.

But I would certainly argue that in my a large portion of what I do would easily be considered sensuality. It's just all that often directed towards myself. I have always seen what these activities offer as a way of freeing (in this case) submissive women from the notion that pleasure is a perversion. So in the beginning stages of a new relationship, I will feature a heavy load of sensual pleasure to my servant. Call it 'carrots'. It is the means to what I derive as the end, which is certainly a freedom of sorts. The carrots also allow for a higher level of tolerance and enjoyment of painplay, if that is how I choose to interact.

Higher intensity, higher sensual overload. In the end, far more easier control.

To me, it's all about the carrots, and very very little about me. It's about her journey, with my guidance. I don't always know where the path will lead, but I know that I'll be able to figure that out along the way.

Does that mean that there is no attention made or given to me? Not at all, but I would say that that is far more because of her needs, part of the 'carrots', than simply saying it's because I need her as a conduit for my 'seed'.

My preferences are of a far more intimate nature, giving and receiving, as well as the breaking down of taboos.

It provides for a heightened feeling of being used, owned, when I am far more disciplined in myself while all the time creating the intensity overload for the servant.

I remain steady. She faces the rollercoaster. I get to watch.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 29

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 4:32:07 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Let me just make sure I understand what we're talking about.

When we say "intercourse," we mean fucking, right?

Umm...I believe the correct word would be COPULATING.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 30

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 4:38:36 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I maybe the freaky Mistress but I love sex and engage in it with my sub as often as possible. We never scene and do not have sex, it always follows. Luckily for Me, slutjack also has a high libido so we are both happy.

Now some Mistresses may have a lower libido or they could be using sex denial as a means of control. If that makes them happy then go for it.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 31

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 5:19:10 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

I enjoy sex, fucking, copulating, making love, shagging and intercourse so while I may use orgasm denial or chastity I'll be getting what I want somewhere.

I find many male subs approach saying they have a desire for chastity and have been told by some I'm not a "Twue Domme" for having sex. I know I'm true to my desires.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 32

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 5:31:35 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

Conversely, most male doms appear to feature intercourse with their female subs prominently in their D/s relationship, and often enjoy bringing the sub to orgasm.

Any thoughts about this? Is it simply true that, generally speaking, men crave intercourse more than most women? Is there something inherently male domination oriented about penetrative intercourse? Other theories?

I must get all the special ones because this has never been my experience. I typically find male dominants that thrive on sexual restriction and orgasm denial. In fact, I was recently informed that it would be necessary for me to earn the privilege. If I wasn't so flabbergasted by the comment I would have said touche. It sounded like something I would have said myself.

I think this is merely individual and based upon the person's desires, willingness to abstain, and the pleasure they receive from restricting their submissive. Oftentimes those that I partner with find great enjoyment in all of the above. The merits of such have been openly discussed in regard to submissives. I'd be curious to learn what dominants get out of the practice.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 33

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 5:38:49 AM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

not all males crave intercourse...as it stands, i'm open and able to do all but intercourse. it's an agreement i made with gf...my choice originally, and she agrees...with all the things going around these days...it's safer that way...for all involved.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 34

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 5:42:36 AM

JeniferJuniper

Posts: 22
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Oumae

..... sex, fucking, copulating, making love, shagging and intercourse.....

Oumae

Out of the above, I personally prefer making love. I have no interest in sex or fucking just for the sake of it. However, if I am in a loving relationship, there will be the odd occasions/places when sex happens and it is great. Making love isnt just about 2 sexual organs making contact it's a whole body/mind/heart thing.

I can appreciate that males need to empty their "ballbags" quite often - but they dont need a female (or otherwise) orifice for that - a hand does the same job. lol

(in reply to Oumae)

Post #: 35

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 6:05:03 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

There are some male slaves, especially those interested in long term chastity or those who are married or attached with an agreement with their SO not to have sex outside the relationship where I will not have sex with them. However, as a sexual being, I want to have sex and often. I will do so with a male slave or female slave who is owned by me. Why would I deny myself that pleasure when it is available to me? That being said I also love orgasm control and chasitiy. So, I cna have it when I want with whomever I want and deny if I choose also. There is ample opportunity for both and both are a lot of fun.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to JeniferJuniper)

Post #: 36

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 6:09:23 AM

princessrn

Posts: 57
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline

listening to veiws on here my mind wonders on what the hell i am , what i thought i was was "a sub" , after 5 yrs im asking myself if restriction and used as a sex aid is what some one calls Mastering . then i need to go back to the drawing board .... because some threads im sorry about this to me seem like they want an unpaid whore ....

maybe its my frame of mind at the moment maybe its just how i see things but to give myself to some one i would like to think im more than some thing they can abuse for there own selfish needs ...

(in reply to JeniferJuniper)

Post #: 37

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 6:15:53 AM

Pimpernell

Posts: 198
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline

Women go ballistic when men refuse to have sex with them. Most female subs would not stay with a Dom that didn't have intercourse with them as their self esteem is so tied up in their sexual attractiveness.

There are far less outlets for male sexuality than for women. Women have vibrators in billions of different designs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeniferJuniper

I can appreciate that males need to empty their "ballbags" quite often - but they dont need a female (or otherwise) orifice for that - a hand does the same job. lol

No it doesn't. I understand that women don't care from where or what or whom she gets her orgasms, but men do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

My sister, however, might take a different view - she is a divorce attorney, and also chases ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands for her clients, to collect overdue, unpaid child support payments.

Well, it's a pity your sister doesn't spend her time chasing up women who don't pay child support. In the US there are more deadbeat moms than deadbeat dads.

< Message edited by Pimpernell -- 8/30/2006 6:23:24 AM >

(in reply to JeniferJuniper)

Post #: 38

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 6:42:07 AM

Nikolette

Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline

I have never been in any relationship where my male partner was able to keep up with me sexually. I have a high sex drive and want it on a regular basis. However it sort of varies from day to day. In the course of a month I could have a few days where I want sex, or sexual release multiple times a day, a week where I want it each day once, and scattered days were I might not want it.

I restrict my slave's access to orgasm as well as penetration, as a method to faccilitate training sometimes, and because I derive a lot of sensually sadisic pleasure from that denial.

For me though its more about having sex, or sexual contact based only on when I want it. I DO allow my slave to "seduce" me sometimes, and/or to simply serve me orally when he is in the mood. So even though its only on my terms, I am NOT the only one who is allowed to initiate it.

_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

Post #: 39

RE: Intercourse with subs - 8/30/2006 7:11:48 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I'm Dominant.

I don't like to be controlled by my glands any more than I want to be by a woman.

D/s, when done correctly, supersedes sex.

If all a male wants is to behave like a butter churn with a female... he may as well just stay where he’s at. And don’t disappoint those that truly wish to practice the lifestyle.

Male slaves aren’t as “cowed” as you might think. As the saying goes “when Momma’s happy... EVERYONE’S happy”

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 40

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